Friday, June 6, 2014

Galactic...What?


Warning: this post contains puns and innuendos.  They were unavoidable.  May be NSFW
Click here for some additional thoughts that I vented in "Roundup."
Have you heard?  There's a new condom coming to town.  The Galactic Cap.  


Where oh where, do I begin?


First saw a post about this a couple of days ago on Huffington Post.  In the Tech section no less.  Really?

 
Nevermind that I have several posts of varying subject matter that I've been working on that I need to post; this came to my attention and well, needless to say, plenty of thoughts popped into mind. 


In a nutshell, Charles Powell, prompted by The Gates Foundation Grand Challenges Exploration Initiative (GCE), designed and patented a "revolutionary condom that men will want to wear, and their partners will love."  Since for whatever reason Mr. Powell's idea is not GCE Initiative funded, he has enlisted the international crowdfunding site Indiegogo to help him raise funding.


Essentially, how it works is the adhesive Base is applied to the head of the penis up to days before romantic relations.  Then when the time comes, just pop the Cap on, and there you go.  Need more detail?  Here's the link to hear all about: "the greatest condom in 400 years."


Now, here are a few of my observations.


So, the Galactic Cap was created to increase men's enjoyment of sex, thus ensuring men will wear it.  I didn't realize men's enjoyment was waning.  


The adhesive base, is an FDA pre-approved material, similar to a Band-Aid. 
All those eager to stick a Band-Aid to your penis, please step forward.


What's with the name?

Merriam Webster's definition of galactic is: "of or relating to a galaxy or galaxies, especially the Milky Way.  (Uh-huh...)                           
(in) Astronomy- measured relative to the galactic equator."
Relating to the galaxy huh?  Something relative to the galactic equator need a cap?  Trying to stroke a potential wearer's ego perhaps?

Back to the adhesive base.  Since one can don it days before relations, even shower in it; does it not lose any of its adhesive quality?  What about other stuff adhering to it?  Underwear, toilet paper?  What if one needs to... how should I put this... relieve some stress?  Will the adhesive base still stay put and still adhere to the cap?  Does it work for men who are, shall we say, uncut?  What does one do; just carry around an already opened package, wherever he goes, just in case?  

There's a fine line between being prepared and being presumptuous.

And about that cap- seems to me that would need to be some pretty strong adhesive in order to stay put during the back and forth motion of it all.  Either the adhesive is super duper strong, and it's a lesson in masochism when it comes time to remove; or it's not.  In that case, it could come off before the ideal time.  Imagine; the thrill of that hunt.  Pretty sure with either scenario, it would put a damper on the liason.  Can't have it both ways.  It either sticks or it doesn't.

Concerning the protection from STI's, if it just covers the tip, what about the rest of the penis?  Mr. Powell claims that healthy skin is a barrier to infection.  Oh whew!  As if.  What if it's unhealthy?  He claims that "most men know if they have a sore or an abrasion, and if he does he should adopt the full protection of a traditional condom."  Love that "most men" qualifier; very reassuring.  Call me crazy, but in the heat of the moment there usually is not a whole lot of examination quality attention going on.  Hypothetically speaking, what if the man was not a pillar of society, the type that discloses all details of his health to what looks like a promising and willing partner?  Of course that would never happen; just saying hypothetically...    To be fair, where's it written that a woman is always 100% honest?  Would anyone who is concerned about protection, really settle for anything less than full protection?


From a woman's perspective... assuming anyone is concerned; the Galactic Cap offers more "skin on skin" for "the way nature intended."  Could the shock of all that skin on skin cause everything to be over before it began, so to speak?  Some women might have a bone to pick with that.  Also, pray tell, is there a polite way to ask, "how long have you been wearing the base?" Certainly could infringe upon anything of an oral nature.  Frankly, I would hope any self respecting woman would say, in the words of Martin Landau's Bela Lugosi in Ed Wood, "I'm not going anywhere near that goddam thing!"

For the record, I think Mr. Powell submitted his Galactic Cap idea to the Gates Foundation's GCE Incentive, but was not selected.  Others were.  By Mr. Powell's calculations, there were 11 grants awarded for new condom designs.  Don't know about you, but I'll be trustin' the wisdom of Bill and Melinda Gates on this one.

Brings to mind that good ol' piece of wisdom,  if it looks too good to be true, it usually is.

What should be self evident, obviously is not.  Any new type of condom, to be used the world over, to prevent unwanted pregnancy and more than 20 different types of Sexually Transmitted Infections in the world today; will probably take more than $100K, and in all likelihood a full sheath.  There will be clinical trials of different types to ensure the safety of millions of users.   Probably, Mr. Powell has a few other investors who are just curious to see if there is a gullible market for his literally, less than half cocked idea.  After all, Mr. Powell concedes that if one wants full protection, one needs to go with tradition of full condom.  Still, he has the cajones to imply that "clinical testing may reveal the G-Cap also (in addition to pregancy prevention) reduces the spread of HIV and STDs".  How he envisions testing to conclude something that he's already stated is improbable, is d
ue to his reasoning "more men would use some protection instead of none."  Not full mind you, but some.  Is this something that one wants to gamble on? 

Lastly, Mr. Powell is giving his "Funders" the choice of 16 different Perks; ranging from for $5 you're called a "Lover"; up to $25,000 labeled, "All Night Long".  Still, if Mr. Powell does not raise the desired amount, of $100,000 by the desired date, July 1, 2014; through the flexible funding option with Indiegogo, Mr. Powell gets to keep whatever money, for whatever
 
Without venturing further, methinks, therein lies the rub.

 For more of my thoughts on the Galactic Cap, check out:
Roundup 
Galactic Cap... Another Look 
Gotta Hand It To Them