Thursday, October 2, 2014

What Else Is "50 SHADES..." Affecting?


No, not art.  At least I don't think so.

     I was a tad hesitant to start this, as to be thought of being one of those who over simplifies the current state of our society by blaming it on one thing.  Such as violent TV contributing to real life violence among kids.  I don't know.  Doesn't help deter it, I think.  Maybe as long as kids have a caring adult who takes the time to point certain things out, (death is final; guns are not toys; this is a tv show and not real life; etc.)- still, this is not that post. 

     Again, I was on Linkedin and found in response to the "How '50 Shades..." article, a link to another article in the Irish Examiner, "Fifty Shades of Grey:  Readers of James' Erotica Are 50 Shades of Prey.

So again, here's what I think about that matter.


     First and foremost:  EL James is a writer who wrote 3 smut books, then had the luck of having them published, and marketed, as to attain world wide fame and fortune.  That is huge, and she should be congratulated on her success.  She was a TV exec prior, that perhaps contributed to ties that helped getting the book published.  The writing I am certain was what it usually is: tedious, trying, rewarding, maddening, etc.  But as Stephen King has stated, he is not paid to write; only when one is published does one get money to use on food and so forth.  So, to be published and marketed, is no small feat.  If the powers that be don't feel they will be shown the money- pdq (pretty darn quick); many books could never hope to be published; much less to such fanfare and attention.
     Sex sells... no question.   Still the fact that I cannot find my idea of a proper smut book, leads me to believe that there's still a certain amount of taboo in writing about well... uhm... well, you know.   
Hope you know that was an attempt at humor, and an attempt to make a point.  The fact that E.L. James is English didn't hurt anything either I'm sure.  No matter how down and dirty the Brits get, somehow they still are able to maintain a certain panache.  All those whips and chains seem almost properN'est pas? 
     I find it interesting that Ms. James, is slightly older than me, yet Ana, her heroine of 50 Shades... is 21.  And a virgin.  Most studies today, concerning youth and sex, show that a 21 year old virgin is rare.  The likelihood that a 21 year old virgin, would do a 180, whatever the incentive, (in this, case a mega-rich, unbelievably hot, nut bar) in my experience is unlikely.  But then it is fiction.  When I was in my twenties, I never came across that combo.  Oh sure, there were a few, very good looking nut bars, but they all were barely even solvent; definitely not in Mr. Grey's class. To be fair, there are a few disparities between Ana and my younger self; but we need not go there.  Maybe she hit her rebellious stage, totally plausible.  While I am usually willing to play the "willing suspension of disbelief" game, as I have stated in "Oh Please," the notion that Ana and Christian continue on in their BDSM manner, while being parents, (by the end of 50 Shades of Freed, they have a 2 yr. old son and are expecting a daughter) is laughable.  Does it glamorize violence against women?  Pretty sure.  Still, Ms. James hardly has a monopoly on that.  So, let's not string her up, just yet.  Just find something else to read.  And if it meets my criteria, please drop me a line and let me know.  Frankly I am beginning to think that finding a needle in any haystack might be easier.

      On a funny note, while looking up this and that for this post, I came across the term, "Mommy Porn" while reading the Wikipedia page for 50 Shades of GreyThinking that maybe if I googled that key phrase, maybe I would find a treasure list that would aid in my search for the ideal smut book.  Oh my...nope, nope, no, yikes... so glad to have that in my Search History.  Not what I was looking for... again.   

     Back to the case in point.  The "...50 Shades of Prey", post reports on a study done in Ireland that claims that readers of the 50 Shades Trilogy "are more likely to have abusive partners."  Not that 50 Shades is to blame, just that they are linked.  Hmmm.  Well, okay.  My thought: maybe young women who are in abusive relationship need to romanticize their daily hells.  To make it somehow comprehensible to themselves, as to why they don't leave the relationship.   Still sadly enough, I'd be willing to bet, in reality, the 25% statistic of the readers that find themselves in an abusive relationship; would hold even if they hadn't read Ms. James' books.  Meaning, I suspect that 1 in 4 women are in, or have been in an abusive relationship.  To satisfy my suspicion, I looked up "What percentage of women will be in an abusive relationship, at some point in their lives?"

These 2 sites provided all the sobering facts I cared to read.




     And these are the points we need to focus on.  No idea what these women read.


     The idea of loving someone well enough to fix that person, is old as dirt.   Fairy Tales are well and good for some ideals; believe in yourself; never stop trying; but they're also great for teaching kids some basic truths about human nature.

-No matter how good, kind, and patient, most beasts remain beasts.

-Liars remain liars.   As do control freaks.

-Even in fairy tales, money and good looks come and go; character, kindness, humor, and compassion
 remain.

And last but not least, and in an effort to end this post on a lighter note:


*No matter how crystally and sparkly,  NEVER WEAR GLASS SLIPPERS.  Broken glass is never fun to walk on.