Friday, February 2, 2018

No, I Don't Think All Men Are Bastards.




Wasn't sure what to call this.  

I have several posts that I'm working on in addition to the book and all else. 

But just wanted to get a few thoughts out there.

In response to the "MeToo" movement: #MeToo. 

In stating that, all I've done, is shared that, like most women, and even some men; I have experienced sexual harassment.  More than once.  And there are past moments that I, how should I describe?  Struggled with.   Time when I'd had no alcohol and setting seemed safe.  Then what happened was not something I planned, nor wanted.  No bruises, no scars.  Just the ones, nobody knows except me.  That I alone, worked to heal.


Am I coming after anyone's job, reputation, quality of life?  

Nope.  Only 24 hours in a day, and I've got more important or at least relevant things to do, with my life now. 

Then again, men who come to my mind, as harassers, offenders, perpetrators, whatever; are not running for a public office.  

If they ever were to... some; I'd make time for

However, most of what I dealt with, happened long before Twitter, Facebook, or any social media.  Before computers were in every home.  Before the 24 hours news cycle. 

So... 

If reading this, important that you realize, I don't think of all men as bastards.  Even the men that come to my mind when I hear the term "harass".



     If by chance you're concerned, or even worried actions of your past, may fall under that category;  WHAT SHOULD YOU DO? 


*For starters, you can WISEN UP, SHAPE UP, AND MAKE DAMN CERTAIN THAT NO BEHAVIOR OF YOURS GOING FORWARD IS HARASSING; or WORSE. 

If you are one of those that believe that "what's harassment for one, is a compliment for another".  THINK AGAIN.  

     HERE'S A TIP: Never say, or do, anything to anyone, that you wouldn't say or do to your mother, sister, daughter, father, brother, or son. 

Should be easy peasy.  If not, get help; because TIME'S UP.

     I mean, you are there, you're an intelligent human being, and have the ability to know, for instance, that you would not tell your mother, sister, daughter, father, brother, son, that they have a nice ass. 

     If, when thinking back to your past, you remember a few times, when you said this or that, to a coworker, classmate, stranger, and cringe; 

Here are a few ideas, on what  you can do, to perhaps lessen the chance that you're remembered as a bastard.  Though, I make no promises

     If it's someone that you know, or used to know, you may send a sincere apology for your words and maybe some of your behavior. 
Provided that there's not a restraining order against you.  
     If you remember the time, place, of the offense, communicate that.  Express your regret, and apologize, sincerely.  If they have words to say, LISTEN.  Whether it's 5 minutes or 5 days. 

     If your behavior was such, there are too many times to count, too many people; that was just your way; perhaps make a blanket statement on Facebook, Twitter, billboard, or on the Time's Square Marquee, that you realize now that you have been a supreme horse's ass, and you vow to stop all sexist/misogynistic/lowlife behavior.  Be prepared for feedback. 

     If you've been a horse's ass, to many, and/or are oblivious to, or simply don't give a damn-
Well you don't give a damn, what am I to say?  Except, good luck you lowlife, Horse's Ass.

None of this is advice, is for any who've done something criminal.  If you're unsure... 

Don't run for office.  

     Not all harassers are criminals.  But there are still a lot of cases of human interactions that are less than reciprocal and respectful.  All that #MeToo says, is that we've experienced such interactions and we're no longer accepting it as "All in a day's work" anymore.  We're not going to be quiet about it anymore.  

     We're going to talk about it, as often as we like, just like the weather.  Most harassers will never be arrested, nor should they be.  Many won't lose their jobs.  Although if you cannot muster up treating all coworkers with integrity and respect, advancement should not be a possibility.  Nor should relocation.   Business principles 101.

#MeToo, #TimesUp, to me are just part of a long, ongoing, universal conversation to evolve to a better place for all.  


     Ashton Applewhite has stated that there would not be the outrage, there is today, had Hillary Clinton won.  I tend to agree.  The #MeToo movement, that has become what the New York Times calls The 'Click' Momentfrom showing the prevalence of sexual assault and harassment, to renewing the fight for equality on many fronts. 


     The other day, I caught the last few minutes of MTP Daily with Chuck Todd.  One of his guests was Washington Post's Ruth Marcus.  Ms. Marcus expressed her thoughts about Hillary Clinton's response to the New York Times's article reporting on that Hillary Clinton allowed a harasser to remain on her team, in 2008.  

In a nutshell, Ms. Marcus stated that Hillary's flaw is her response and her actions in general are a day late/dollar short variety.


I saw the show, before I read, Hillary Clinton's Facebook Response.  

After reading through it, my initial thought was, at least she acknowledges how she's done wrong.  More than I can say for the man sitting in the Oval Office.  It's more than he's ever done.  

To me, what Trump does, or doesn't do is a helluva lot more relevant to all of us. 

     BUT, if you don't like Hillary, that response is not going to change that.  Not that I find anything, wrong, with her response.  I really don't.  Because I don't think it's even something to judge, it's just her thoughts on why she did what she did when she did it;  which no matter how powerful, she cannot change what she did or didn't do.  She acknowledges that she would do things differently today.  

     As one who likes Hillary, I see it as an explanation.  According to her post, the accuser gave her permission to post.  That's enough for me.  Again, I've got other fish to fry.  If you read other Washington Post's posts, you'll find some concerning Hillary's response, as well as posts on the news that she shielded a harasser. 

Obviously, they're critical.  Okay.  

     But again, the time in question was ten years ago.  Ten years ago, it was a different world.  

     Hell, even two years ago was a different world.  Considering it was 2 years ago, when Bob Woodward, yes, the Bob Woodward of the Washington Post, expressed that the problem with Hillary, was that she yelled.  Evidently that quality works wonders if you're a man, considering who sits in the Oval Office today. 

     I have an aunt, in her 80's, that politically, socially, we agree on most things.  However, she believes that what a woman wears, or if a woman goes to a hotel room; those choices on the part of the woman, harbor part of the responsibility for what happens to her.  

I disagree. 

I believe people, should act decently, and be able to expect likewise from the next person they meet.  To do differently is to break the law.  

I get why my aunt believes what she does, though.  

Yet, fashion, is to inspire, and spark the imagination.  

When hotel rooms are settings for business meetings of any employee, all employees should  be able to expect the same setting/ambience.  Some hotel suites are larger than my house.  

At each time in history, people use the knowledge available to them, to make decisions.

People once thought the world was flat.  Not a whole lot of traveling going on then.  Many other decisions were made, based on that knowledge. 

We now know differently and more than we did a thousand, a hundred, and even ten years ago. 

As is said, #MeToo, and #TimesUp are not the end of the conversation.  

Just as women getting the right to vote in 1920, the conversation; the fight to make things better for all, went on.

There is still pay inequality.   

There are still double standards everywhere you look.

Women are underrepresented in Hollywood, politics, late night comedy, news anchors, writers, and the list goes on. 

The Equal Rights Amendment was started in 1923, but remains unratified. 

Roe Vs. Wade passed in 1973.  Yet the fight goes on. 
For more of my thoughts on this matter, check out:

SO NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS   ...and...
                              Please Read & Consider


Anita Hill testified against Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas in 1991. 

Not until 1993, was it considered a crime, to rape your wife in the United States. 

Last March, I wrote  STOMPIN!

I included this segment from Bill Maher.


So, less than a year ago, alpha male was once again to be aspired to, even celebrated.  Again, I like Bill Maher.  But not one woman is mentioned through the segment; just a suggestion that if you do grab a snatch, you should do it like an alpha male and do it without apologizing ... 


Perhaps, I should think that here we are less than a year later, and maybe, just maybe that alpha male is not celebrated as apathetically, and to the exclusion of the alpha female.


Maybe.  

Maybe again, we just keep the conversation going, and we'll find ourselves a little bit closer.

Here's another one.  To keep the the conversation going.