Friday, May 23, 2014

WHAT THE...Verruckt!?

Photo is courtesy of Gadget Review 
Well, here we are upon Memorial Day Weekend.

My family has always referred to it as "Decoration Day".  Hopefully that's self explanatory, but if not, they call it that due to the bringing of flowers and thus, decorating the graves of deceased loved ones. 

Memorial Day Weekend has also come to represent the recognized, but unofficial, beginning of SUMMER!!!  The official start according to the calendar, won't be until June 21st, and who knows when Mother Nature's seasonal appropriate weather will meet up.

In honor of this weekend, pools, beaches, and amusement parks, across the nation are set to open for the hopefully sun filled months ahead.  Though you'll have to wait for a couple more weeks, the talk of (we'll see)  is sure to be The Verruckt, the latest thrill of Schlitterbahn Waterpark in Kansas City, Kansas.

I'm of German descent, but don't speak a word of it other than Guten Tag (good day) and Danke (thank you) and really don't know how to pronounce Verruckt.  If I had to guess, I think I know of a word that comes close to rhyming.... which is precisely what I'd be saying if anything ever possessed me (most likely a demon of considerable evil intention) to go down this... umm... water slide (?).

Here are my thoughts in no particular order, because hey - it's SUMMER and whatever goes...

Those crazy Germans!

Who approved this?  Who thought this was a good idea?  How many numbskull(s) were so blinded by dollar signs that all human traces of common sense escaped their brain(s)?  How much did it cost to build?  How much are they planning to charge?

How long is the disclaimer sheet?  The one for Sky High is two pages.  Somehow I don't think two pages would cover this.

Did they ever hear, "just because you can, doesn't mean you should,"?


They have the tag line "The Ride of Your Life".   Methinks they should insert the word "last" ~ "The Last Ride of Your Life."


Oh, by the way, to get to the top, you have to climb 264 stairs!  What?  They couldn't afford to put in an elevator? 

The slide is over 168 ft tall.  Taller than Niagara Falls, approximately 17 stories. Why not just go around town and hang a Slip 'N Slide off the roof of the tallest office building?  Betcha that office building has an elevator.

I've got an idea for a slogan: "Ride the Verruckt and you'll be Fuckt!"

It could adorn the tee shirt that you decorate with for next Memorial Day.

If your aim is to be the one decorated for Memorial Day 2015, there's also Worlds of Fun's Steelhawk ride a mere 21.6 miles away from Schlitterbahn's Verruckt.  You fly around at a 45 degree angle at a height of over 300 ft in the air.  Let me know which one you choose to do first.

Both thrill rides were supposed to open this weekend, but alas, both have been delayed.  Shocking.

If you haven't already guessed, you'll never catch me on the Verruckt, or the SteelHawk, but this post is nothing more than my ol' fuddy duddy opinion.   After all, according to one video I saw, among the first riders of the Verrucht will be Mayor Mark Holland and Governor Sam Brownback.  Well, alrighty then.  After all, what do I know?

 
Video is from TomoNews