Saturday, January 9, 2016

Let's Rate The Male Candidates.... on Looks


     Happy Weekend!  
     Oopsy daisy!  My, my my.  Meant to post this last year, when everything was just getting started.  Started it after Trump made a few comments about Fiorina's looks, and because I had at that point seen too many comments on Clinton's choice of wardrobe.  

Once upon a time, I thought Sadie's Gathering would not be political.  Ha! Best laid plans... 

      Looking around on the internet I found different posts, concerned with whether or not, Sec. Clinton would be wearing pantsuits.  Gimme a break.  I even found a commenter on FB with this to say:
     "Not only have you gotten fat and is your facial skin falling down (aging fast, aren't you?), but I've gotten tired of seeing those hideous HUGE bags under your eyes. You must have trouble sleeping often, huh?!"  
     Then, come September, Donald Trump had this to say about Carly Fiorina: 
      "Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?!"
     So... got me thinking...perhaps it would be a good time to rate the men.  I mean with the number of candidates, when again would we have such an opportunity?
     Despite months passing, think I should include all the male candidates; even those who have ended their campaigns.  Wouldn't want them to feel left out.   After all, I've heard that Webb may be getting back in the race.
So lets' see... how to do this?
     One naturally thinks to turn to Donald Trump, since he had something to do with the Miss USA pageant.  Just to get some pointers on how to rate human beings based solely on looks.  Of course when one thinks of a pageant, one thinks of the BATHING SUIT COMPETITION...
   
     Now, you may or may not be pleased/relieved to know, that other than a few, , I was unable to find a photo of all the male presidential candidates in a swim suit of any type; be it in swim trunks, jammers, or a meat hanger bikini style.  Not only that, I had a hard time finding a photo of one in anything less than a suit and tie.  I mean it's like some of the male candidate never even change clothes.  Or they have a closet filled with only suits and light blue, or white button downs.  And really, no photos in swim trunks, or even shorts, hanging with the family?  What on earth do they do when they're not running for president?  Tad suspicious if you ask me.   Half the candidates are from southern states.  And more than one has a nice home on beach property.  Certainly not a problem when it comes to finding candid photos of the female candidates.  Natural or "doctored up" any other wise.
     So, what to do, what to do...  Here's what I decided-
With each male candidate, I am providing the next best thing; a photo of each, as close to a bathing suit as possible.  Be it a suit without a jacket, a polo, camouflage, etc.  The most casual dress photo, of each I could find.  Then, at the end, I provide options of different types of bathing suits, to imagine your favorite candidate in.  Or when a not so favorite candidate, is droning on.  So let your imagination do its worst.  Up to you what you want their talent to be.  I am including their age, and astrological sign for inspiration.  But again, it's unimportant about their hobbies, interests, family, or even it they aspire to bring world peace; this is just about their looks.  However, in some cases it was like you just knew what they were thinking...

So let's begin...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you in alphabetical order...
*
Jeb Bush-62-Aquarius




Jeb's the one in the red trunks.




Ben Carson-64- Virgo



Relax, I'm a doctor.







Lincoln Chafee-62- Aries






My name is Lincoln... what's yours?




Chris Christie-53-Virgo




"Take me out to the ballgame..."











Ted Cruz-45- Capricorn



 No.  I don't want to know what's under your raincoat.






Lindsey Graham-60- Cancer



You talkin' ta me?





Mike Huckabee-60- Virgo




HOWDY Y'ALL!




Bobby Jindal-44-Gemini


GOOD MORNING DES MOINES!








John Kasich-63- Taurus





"Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line."







Martin O'Malley-52- Capricorn

Actually had my pick of photos of O'Malley in trunks.  A while back somewhere on Twitter he was voted, Sexiest Candidate, or something.  His reply when congratulated by The Daily Show's Trevor Noah,
"When the average age of the other contenders is over 60, that isn't hard to achieve."
This spring chicken turns 53 on Jan. 18.





George Pataki-70-Cancer

While I did find a couple of photos of Pataki out of a suit, chose this one because he's smiling and it reminds me of those silly Sports Illustrated swimsuit photos, where you see a woman smiling bravely in a mound of snow, while donning only 3 triangles and a couple of strings to connect.

Somehow, I feel like he's about to break out into song.





Rand Paul-53 Capricorn
"I am Spartacus!"
Felt the need for both photos.  For the record, Rand Paul's just a few days older than Martin O'Malley.  I think Rand Paul has the better hair.







Rick Perry-65-Pisces




AAAA!!!...






Marco Rubio-44- Gemini

These boots are made for walking'...
While I couldn't find a photo of Rubio in swimwear, I did manage to get a photo of him donning his swanky new boots.
This is the baby of the bunch.







Bernie Sanders-74- Virgo

"If you're happy and you know it clap your hands..."

Rick Santorum-57- Taurus



What a life. Got sunscreen?





Donald Trump-69-Gemini




GOOOO TEAM!







Scott Walker-48-Scorpio



I'm so outa here.





Jim Webb-69- Aquarius




A stage all to himself.











Now, for the suit selection.



and if you really wanna show your spirit:
Imagine any one of the above donning one of these babies!
You're welcome.



Here's to our land of the free!

*All photos are from the Internet.  I tried to credit actual sources to begin with, but then technology goonies took over, and I lost patience.