Monday, March 18, 2013

Ok, It's Official... I am a Prude.


 The title says it all.
     If you haven't figured it out, I spend way too much time on the computer every day.  So, every day I click on this and that and roll my eyes countless times.
     I am not saying I am better or classier, or whatever.  It's just I don't get what the hub bub is about certain things.
     For instance, as a kid, I totally missed the boat when it came to scatological humor.  If you don't know what scatological means, look it up.  That's how much I missed the boat; I don't even want to spend more time than I have to explaining.   As you know, I have kids.  My kids are riding that boat right now to the crest.  I try to focus on the sound of my kids' laughter, rather than the words, and the sounds they are making.  Just as long as it's not brought up during mealtime, I am usually quite tolerant.  However, the fact they are fans of Nick Network does not help matters.  The other day, in between episodes of Spongebob Squarepants, (my girls love, I can't stand, although I do sympathize with Squidward) four teenage kids were singing a song about bodily gas emission (yep, I am that hung up) IN A JAR!  I thought -You've got to be kiddin' me!  I switched the station.
     It's a few days later, and I have not seen it since that time.  Of course my girls have to watch Spongebob.  So, I searched the web a bit to see if it was real, or just one of those pesky parent imaginings.  Turns out, I wasn't the only parent displeased.  A dad, actually had to leave work early to pick up his son from school, who had been sent home due to repeatedly talking about scatological subjects.  Oh, and here's what else I found.  Some genius is trying to sell an emission in a jar on Etsy-  FOR $54!!!  Never fear, if you feel that price is a little steep, you can buy a book for $2.99 TELLING WHY  YOU SHOULD STORE YOUR EMISSIONS IN A JAR!  Sorry, I am too much of a prude to include links to the aforementioned items, but heck, if you found Sadie's, I trust you can find these.  Just don't tell me and I won't judge.  Ahem.
     As far as other areas that I am prudish on, I already divulged my opinion on swearing, and you know that I am a big fan-  I just don't want to read it often, and that's why you won't see it here.
Well, while I was researching parents' reactions to the Nick video, I kept reading complaints from parents with very colorful language included.  My 8 yr old reads and reads well.  My 5 yr old can sound out quite a few words with help, and let's face it the best of the best expletives are only four letters.  I shared with my daughters that WTF actually stands for: what- the- fandango?!  Although I miss living in Southern California, I do not miss explaining the the billboards that were plentiful in our area.  Trust me, there's nothing like being caught in gridlock on an LA freeway, (usually the 405) trying to explain to a budding reader, why there's a billboard for "LIVE NUDE GIRLS".  Better yet, why that one has the words Spearmint Rhino - but there's no picture of any animal or the mint that Mommy has in her herb box at home; just one of a lady.  With not much on I might add.  Hmmm... now imagine no movement for 30+ minutes = screaming toddler and 4 yr old, and you've got a recipe for ... oh well I am sure you get the picture.
      I am even a prude about other blogs using all the fun words I leave out.  One of my fav's, recently did a promo post for a book that I know will be a best seller, because it shares some very funny moms', very funny perspectives.  Yet the title of the book has one of those words in it, and the promo post states "You're gonna want this (another one of those words)".  Really?  I am sure some of you will read this and think "oh grow up."  To which I reply, not likely.
     Even as a teen, I remember discussing expletives with my mom.  I was stating the benefits of using the "F-word" and why it is was better than "s--t" which I considered gross; and much better than "GD" because that is taking the Lord's name in vain- with the added bonus of sending something to Hell.  Mom didn't see it my way, so it was decided that everyone (including Dad) would not use any of those words.  Thus, the beginning of my love of foreign language.
     Speaking of language, there's a game my girls play where they just make up words.  Usually used to describe each other.   The sillier the better.  They get pretty colorful, but not in the way I referred to earlier.  Just very creative, and very funny.
     Or the rhyming game: prude, bued, blude, rude, dude, fude, stude wude, sude, tude, lude, zude...
Because when you're a kid, lots of things are funny.  Long live childhood!