My Take on Marriage

Just a little updates... since I wrote this in August of 2013...💕Gratitude to Jimmy Buffett...

     What do I think of marriage?  It's great.  That is my opinion today.  What I think most days, is it's a lot of work.  My husband will say the same.  Thankfully, it's work we both enjoy.  We had both been around enough to know that going in. It's compromises, concessions, and work to share your life with someone. It's a choice, and a privilege that not everyone gets to enjoy.  I think it takes 2, maybe more, to make it work- only 1 to make it not work.  I won't say fail, because I think if people look back on a marriage that didn't last till "death do us part",  there are still a lot of good and fun memories, and maybe even kids- so, in my opinion that's hardly failing.  

That's a choice as well, that yields its own compromises, concessions and rewards.

     I like my husband as well as love him.  

We have a lot of similarities, and quite a bit 

of differences.  The big one, politics.  For those

that James Carville's and Mary Matalin's marriage befuddles them- I can say that it does cause some debates, but we know we're never gonna change each other, (nor do we wish to) and for the most part get why the other votes the way they do and enjoy the enlightening each of us bring.  We've been together for nearly 16 years, and I can honestly say, he still makes me smile and usually laugh almost every day.  Most the time it's even intentional.

Mosquitoes; What's The Point?

     I love summer.  However, one of the major pitfalls for me is the wretched mosquitoes.    In the spring when mosquitoes first start to appear, I could swear I can hear them sing and dance, the moment I step outside.  I currently have 15 bites.
     It was one of the lovely things about living in Southern California; very little humidity= no mosquitoes.  In the 8 years that we lived there, I got 1 bite!  And I am certain that little suckers traveled oodles of miles just to find me.  Maybe I should feel flattered ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Technology vs. Me...

Porcupine in a Balloon Factory ©SJaye 2013, This post 

     As you no doubt know by now, I go NUTS dealing with technology.  

     I even fail to see the benefit of having a huge television.  Yet, having to own the latest phone where you can watch the exact same thing, on a teensy-weensy screen... AIE AIE AIE.

     I constantly misdial, mistype, or somehow, get to some unintended person or screen, only to let rip a stream of obscenities~ you probably will not see here.

     In fact, it is quite common for my husband to walk into a room, only to hear me swearing at an inanimate object, that he doesn't bat an eye; he knows better than to laugh.
 
     I often say, "for every thing that technology helps; is causes another 2 headaches."

     There have been many medical advances, as well as other types of progress, that without technology, would only be a dream.  I know that.  That is why I strive with the finesse of a porcupine in a balloon factory to learn and keep up with the latest kryptonite. 

     Writing this blog has been quite an adventure for a non-techie like me.  I have a Mac computer with a big ol' monitor that is larger than our family television.  Boggling I know, that we only have one tv. However it suits us.  I love my Mac, and since beginning to spend more time on it during the last year, I have begun to understand what all the hubbub is about.  Still, there are times that I still roll my eyes.

     If you read my post, The Perks of Being Fired, you'll recognize this picture:

Yes, I modeled for this.

     While I know this contraption is used in many fields, and different professions; I am not a fan.  I understand fully the need for it if you are protecting the President or another person of equal stature.  

     I also get it, that it helps when communicating across a large area, such as a restaurant, sports arena, or stage.   However, in these scenarios, where it's not a matter of national security; I think it's important to realize the impression the wired ear pods give, to what are paying guests/customers.  Those are who keeps businesses in business. 

     I humbly suggest to think long and hard, about WHO REALLY NEEDS TO BE WIRED?

     There are public service announcements, that are showing with more frequency, about the loss of loved ones due to texting while driving.  Pretty sure it's illegal now in most places.  Still, it's unnerving how many drivers, I witness doing exactly that; not to mention how many who are obviously "on a call", while driving.  Either that, or there's a lot more talking to one's self going on these days.

     Think about all the ways technology has affected us.

     I grew up in a time, when one learned how read body language.  When conversing, looking someone in the eye was a sign of respect.  With people looking constantly at screens of one kind or another, looking someone in the eye today, makes people uncomfortable.  

     Last weekend, while dining with a friend at a nice local restaurant, the what I presume was the manager stopped by to check on us.  After the initial "good evening," his eyes scanned the room instead of meeting with either of ours, for the remainder of the query.  My friend had sent her entree back, and when he stopped we assumed it was due to that, but then he didn't mention it or ask about it.   My friend, (who's in sales) and I got a kick out of it.  I think we could have told him Martians had landed, and he would have given us the same slick, rehearsed spiel.
      Dating has changed as well.  Gone are the days of the "smolder" or "look of longing".  Now,  after finding each other through a site, be it Hot Singles, Match.com, or Christian Mingle, I would be surprised if the two individuals in question actually found time to have an actual conversation amid the "tweeting" about the possibilities of their date; who they googled extensively prior to the date to find out all pertinent info.

     On the matter of technology that's less obviously "wired"- remember the good ol' days when you decided when you were finished on the pottie?  In the attempt of saving water, most public places now have toilets that flush automatically ... still figuring out what the "cue" is.  

     Then you move on to washing your hands.  There are times I swear, there must be a hidden camera complete with an audience laughing uproariously as I try to find one spigot that will bestow water onto my hands, as well as anticipate what direction the automatic soap dispenser will spurt.  Finally, drying your hands: the new dryers- you might as well wipe your hands on a piece of clothing (I suggest your own); or if it is working- be sure to hold on to your hat.  Checking the mirror before you leave the restroom might be wise as well.
   
     Keeping this topical, where would some politicians be without technology?  On one hand, (naughty, naughty) without it they may have kept their fantasy lives "closer to the vest".   On the other hand, (I admit, I am smirking as I write this) since they are endowed with technology, it's not in the same realm in my opinion, as other polititians who've committed various acts (and what variety!) mano a mano, or au naturel; so to speak.

    Going forward, this old fashioned porcupine will try to walk the fine line/tight rope between being digitally literate, and overwired.  However there are some of the old customs that I hope remain, so I vow to continue-   
     When I meet someone new, look them in the eye, and smile.  If the mood strikes, shake hands.
     Enjoy and engage in actual conversation.
     Remember how fun it is to laugh with another human being.
     Because no matter how advanced technology gets, it will never satisfy all the senses.  

     Lastly I will still read,  books.  I love the smell, the history, the je n'sais quoi...  that jumps out from my 1911 edition of J.M. Barrie's,  Peter and Wendy.  It's old, heavy, and lovely.  No Nook, nor Kindle, nor whatevah, can hold a candle to that.  And I also love the smell of a wood burning fireplace; no flippa switch for me, thank you.

    

This post was originally published on 7/31/2013!  Ten years ago, yet I still get miffed by technology.

I have a new post coming that will air my thoughts on AI 😉

If you enjoy my blog and donate $, I'd be ever so grateful! 

Happy Holidays! 

What I've Learned!

     In honor of my oldest daughter, turning 21 today! 

     I'd like to share what I've learned thus far from being a parent!  Originally posted this on 9/11/2015, when my darlin was 11.

     Now, as I've told relatively new parents; you're kids are kids for about 10 years... then... when their bodies begin to change in many different ways... they'll remind you of your teen years... and they will be more like roomies(roommates), than your children.

     When I was a teen, my mom told me, my hormones would even out, in around my mid 20's; and I would not view anything as dramatically terrible, as I did when I was a teen.  

     I remember rolling my eyes to her, whenever she mentioned that point ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

     Then, I moved to Chicago, in '91, after I graduated from WVU.

      I worked at a Futon Store, for a couple of years and made a couple of friends there.  

     Also, when I sold a futon to a woman, who'd just graduated and moved from Boston; and she lived around the corner from my studio apartment; we became friends!  We were roommates for a few years.  

     Then once, while in our first apartment; I'd gone out with a nice young man, named Pete; he took me out to dinner and we had a fun evening!  When he dropped me off, we kissed for the first time; and he said he'd call me, and we'd go out again!  I thought then we'd be dating for a good bit. 

     Then a couple of weeks later, my roomie asked if I was going to go out again with that hot guy; and she asked, 'What is his name?'

     So, this is what I replied: "Pete, is the name of that guy I went out with.  He said he'd call me, and we'd go out again.  Yet... since it's been 2 or 3 weeks... I guess he either lost it, or tossed my phone...so, no more time with Pete..."

     "Oh my God!  So sorry... "

     And I said, "Who gives a sh*t... there's so many other hot guys in Chicago!"  Then we laughed! 

     Then I called my mom; told her about it; told her "YOU"RE RIGHT!!! I DON'T GIVE A SH*T" and Mom laughed!  

     Then I apologized for all the fits I through as a teen; and she told me, 'Babe, you were easy...' and I replied, "May be because I was an only child," ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

     If you're a parent, I'm sure I have nothing on you.😉   

Enlighten Me

      Did you hear about what a grandma and a preacher said about Frozen?
      Sounds like the intro to a joke.

      Can someone please enlighten me and tell me where oh where, in Frozen, are these parts that are turning our kids gay?  I apparently overlooked them.  Mind you, I don't worry about that, just so long as my daughters get the unconditional love for thy sister message.  That message, registered so strongly with me that I continue with my unconditional love for thy sister tirade, day in a day out still; even though we saw Frozen back in November.  I confess, felt like I'd hit the jackpot when I saw Elsa and Anna's shining examples of sisterly love. "See, how well they play together?  How nice!  They say they love each other and hug each other without anyone telling them to!  Notice, they don't hit, whine, sass, tell on each other, trade raspberries, etc. etc. etc."  That's the message I took from the movie.  As my daughters argue in the next room, I realize with a sigh to myself; it has yet to sink in with them.
     What did sink in?

Newt Gingrich Called...

     Politicians, Nonprofits Organizations, and businesses that rely on telemarketing, would get so much more support from me if there was a human being on the other end of the line- when they call me to promote a candidate, save the whales, or sell a home security system.  Not all the phones in our house have caller ID, thus why I answer these calls.
     Newt Gingrich phoned the other day.  I'm not a fan.  He was promoting a GOP candidate for some office.  Honestly- he had me at "Hi, this is Newt Gingrich".  Excellent.  I said "hello, is this a human?" just wanted to be sure it was a recording, and it was!  Golden opportunity.  I was also not best pleased to clamor out of the bathroom, dodge toys in the hall, maneuver around the bed, to answer the phone; just to get one of these calls.  So, given my daughters were at school, I could use any language I darn well pleased,  I proceeded to unload my thoughts about a few other choice topics to Mr. Gingrich, over top of the recording.  Mature? Nope.  Cathartic?  Not really.  However, I can't say, that after Newt and I hung up, I felt it was totally without merit.  Strange.

Return From Cuckoo Land

Got to see The Lego Movie yesterday.

Kids really enjoyed it, as did the parents, it seemed.

Don't want to give away any key plot points, so I'll just say there's a sweet message; albeit with my suspicion that Lego has plans to take over the world, I didn't find it entirely altruistic.

Don't worry, you'll be saying "Everything is awesome," for a long time.  Like it or not.



In case you didn't see it, I'm resharing my post, "Today's Toys, Kids' Dream; Parents' Nightmare".

Hope you enjoy.

Why Are Social Media Not Social?

Rolling my eyes.  Yet again.

     Think you know by now, I am not the most tech savvy.

     Let's begin with my blog.

     I try to change the picture for the "cover" and it rarely comes out how it shows it in "Preview".  Never know what size it's going to come out.   Not sure what determines it.

     Then, as Sadie's is a fairly young blog, I try to build my audience, by asking friends to check the blog out and joining.  I have had more than a couple of people tell me, they couldn't, for some reason, it wouldn't let them, etc.  Yes, I too suspected passive aggressiveness, but then I sat with a friend while she tried to join, and witnessed Google or whatever kicking her off, and saying that option was not available at that time, and to try later.

     Whether it's Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest; just as I have the format close to figured out, they change it.

     Since there's never a freakin' human being to find to help- how can they call it "social media"?

Hello... Is Anybody Out There?

Not a big Pink Floyd fan, just a quick vent about my frustrations of trying to reach a human being.

Facebook, Google, Linkedin, and so many others.

As a habit, when someone calls, I try to return their call asap.  Same goes for email.  Wish others would follow suit.

     I was in the middle of cleaning my daughters room, which is a bit like working on the wake of a storm, when the phone rings.  When I answered it was a telemarketer, made to sound like a real human, trying to sell something.  "If you are interested press '1', if you wished to be removed from the call list, Press '2'."   I had received this offer many times before, and had remained on the phone long enough to hear the options, then followed their direction by pressing "2" to be removed to no avail.  So this time, I pressed "1" to speak to a "representative."  When a jolly male representative answered with a chipper "Hi, my name is 'so and so', how can I be of service?"  I answered nicely, "I have received this offer many times, and always have pressed '2', but that has obviously not worked, so I  pressed '1' this time to hopefully get that goal accomplished, and be removed from your calling list..."  He hung up.

     Way to represent the company.  Wait'll they call next time.
 
     Now actually at the time of writing this part, who knows how many more times I have received this call, always with a recording saying "This is your second and final chance..."  REALLY?! PROMISE?!  So for a long time now, I just have accepted the fact that I will continue to receive this company's calls.  However, the other day, I tried again.  This time I got on the line with what sounded like an older woman, you know reminiscent of your grandma.  I started our conversation as sweet as molasses, and told her one of her coworkers had hung up on me.  "Oh Sweetie, I am so sorry to hear that, let me assure you that I'll take care of your requests."  I began to explain why I did not need what they were offering; Granny was gone before I finished my first sentence.

     As for the social media, such as the ones listed above, I am so tired of their intuitive software.  I think that's what it's called.  When you go to the "Help" section and type in your question; then you have options from whatever key word they decided is the key word.   Then usually what follows is a question: "Was this helpful?"  This is where you rate it from "Extremely Helpful" to "Not at All."
Seems to me if it was truly intuitive, it would know the answer.

     Since it is the beginning of the year, I thought I would post this now in case anyone out there would like to carpe diem so to speak, and create yet another social network that is actually social itself.

Cause I am pretty certain that there are others out there.

Ever Feel Like This?

This cutie is brought to you courtesy of my talented husband, Davis Jaye.  The idea is mine, courtesy of my life, as well as everyone's I know.

     I remember thinking when I first became a mom, "why wasn't I born an octopus?"  Then one morning, after getting more than an hour of uninterrupted sleep and having a big ass* caffeine infused beverage, logic returned. 

If I had been born an Octopus, my offspring would be octopi.

That would pretty much defeat the purpose.
So, I hope this brings a smile , and empathizes with everyone;  especially during the holiday season.

Just to let you know, one of my thoughts for Sadie's Gathering in 2014 is to "open" a little store with just a few little things.  Coffee mugs, tee shirts, bumper stickers, cotton reusable bags and the sort.  The artwork will be cartoons that I have featured in My Take on Marriage,  Go Forth & Behave, this octopus, and a few others.  Please let me know your interest in the comment section.  Thanks in advance.

Happy Holidays!

*While I don't regularly swear on Sadie's Gathering, I will use the word "ass" from time to time, as did J. M. Barrie's Tinkerbell in his timeless children's classic Peter and Wendy.

The Hoopla

How's everyone doing?

10 Days to go till Christmas Eve.

I think I am finished with the shopping.  So that usually means in about 5 days time I'll think of something that someone absolutely can't do without, and I can't find absolutely anywhere.

Then there's the baking.  Getting in the right frame of mind, to be ready to bake some yummy treats, all the while accepting all the help (the 9 and younger set)  that is available to you.  Then you realize there's that one key ingredient you are missing.  Like sugar.

The Christmas Cards.  Making them out merrily, while listening to Nat King Cole, then remembering that so-n-so, got a new job and moved.  Is this the new address or the old?  They got married; now whose place are they living?  Or they're no longer together, where did I put their new addresses?  What's their new significant other's name?  Go the distance.  Stay in touch.  Lots of egg nog later...

Decorate!

All the while using language as colorful as your holiday wrapping paper.

Now there's the Christmas Spirit.

 

The Elves & Me

If you are a follower of Sadie's Gathering, you are probably aware of the happenings of our elf, Natale, and that she recently got married.

     Yesterday a friend of mine posted on Facebook that she did not have an Elf on the Shelf, and was wondering if she was the only "uncool" mom.  She's one of my members here, so I just stated the news of Natale and let it be known that she was not the only one.  Here's my reasoning behind not hosting another elf on the shelf, since ours had plans other than adorning our shelves throughout the holiday season.

     First and foremost, I believe it would be rude.  In a nutshell, nobody likes to play second fiddle.

     Beyond that, I have always found these elves, that come into homes, make messes, spy on their hosts and hostesses, then report back to Santa, a little off putting to say the least.  Consider; would you put up with a grown sibling, coming for a visit, reeking havoc, in your house, (which may include "cavorting", drinking in excess, and making a mess of your baking supplies) during what is already a hectic and stressful time of year- then reporting back to Mom?  Didn't think so.  Especially, if you were the one who paid their travel expenses!

     Aside from what I think is the obvious for not hosting one of these ungrateful imps, there is another reason.  Santa has always come through.  For years.  For generations.  Without these elves; and without this year's special light courtesy of Hallmark.  See, I am 45 years old, and I still believe in Santa.  This would be true, even if I wasn't a mom.

     By the time I was 8 or 9 I was told there was no Santa Claus.  When I consulted my mom on the matter, she asked me to consider: did it really matter how my gifts arrived, so long as they arrived?  Did it matter really if a jolly plump old elf delivered them with the aid of flying reindeer (which incidentally she refused to profess one way or another) or if they came from those who loved me?  I had to be honest.  Not really.  Still, the cast was set.  I BELIEVED.  It had nothing to do with logic, common sense, or scientific fact.  It had everything to do with hope, faith, and the belief that anything is possible.  That is the magic.

     The ability to believe in concepts that we cannot yet see or prove is a skill that often defines a life; between one that believes, and one that doubts.

      Believing in the possibility has created many things that today we take for granted:  the lightbulb; electricity; vaccinations;  the computer.  Believing in a person without reason, can be the very essence of what inspires them to do great things.  To believe in what is beyond our nose and the stores' shelves is the meaning of Christmas.  It's what Francis P. Church wrote about in his famous letter.  "...in all the world there is nothing else real and abiding."

     The Elf on the Shelf, provided a charming family tradition for the creators' family.  So charming that they wanted to pass it on.  I completely understand.  Practically speaking though, The Elves on the Shelves (or Elves on the Shelf- I never know which is correct) didn't enter our realm, until last year, when my daughters saw it for sale at Barnes and Noble.  So.  I know you may be thinking, "Were you under a rock?" to which my reply is "Hey! I had things going on."  Be that as it may they appeared to my daughters as yet another doll to add to their collections.  When we all learned the story, I had some explaining to do.  Let me remind you that my youngest is a future Atticus Finch.    I knew better than to think for a moment, I would ever enjoy that benefit of "be good or your elf will tell Santa."  It was exhausting.  After I finished explaining, I assured them that Santa would always find a way without these special elves.  They stated that they understood but found them to be "sooo adorable! Can we each have one anyways PLEEEAASSSE?"  (Again, let me remind you of my issues with toys)  I then uttered the time honored parental phrase, "We'll see."

     As with a lot of things, I started to do research into these elves.  I came upon Kim Bongiorno's Elf Shaming.  Thank you Kim!  If you click on the link, you'll be directed to the "About" page of the site.  From there you can look around the Elf Shaming site, well worth the time- lots of laughs; or she provides links to a lot of other very funny posts about these, let's face it imps.  After doing the "research",  I concluded that I was not an enthusiastic housekeeper to start with, don't like to share my beer, and make enough of a mess baking; without the help of a 13 inch cherub.  Of course, be sure to read the Grand Dame of all, PIWTPITT's "Overachieving Elf On The Shelf Mommies."  Still great fun to read!

So, at this point, we are still sans elf. 
And on Christmas Eve, I will still look up in the sky to see the tell tale red light that lets me know,
Santa is on his way.

 

Natale's Wedding

While a lot of you out there are welcoming your Elf on The Shelf for the season, ours has answered another calling.  Our elf, Natale, recently married a fellow Italian, Giovanni.

I am very happy for them and wish them many years of happiness.  As you see, she was a lovely bride.

As for our family, we'll be keeping Christmas in the way our family has for generations.

Santa always finds a way.

Can We Just Relax?

     Here it is the Monday before Thanksgiving; the beginning of the holiday season.  In most places we have seen holiday decorations and preparations on sale since the beginning of November if not before Halloween. 

     Can we do that inevitable huge sigh together?  Here we go... SIIIIGGGGGHHHH ...(repeat as necessary)

     Is all the hubbub necessary?

     Don't misunderstand, I love the holidays, but there are some commercial practices these days, that have me rolling my eyes.  Found out yesterday that department stores are giving their customers an early start to black Friday- by starting on Thursday!  They opt out of mentioning that Thursday is indeed a holiday unto itself.  Just state that there are amazing, one of a kind, sales to be had on THURSDAY.  Huh.  What are they counting on?  That we'll forget it's THANKSGIVING?
Or are they just betting we're all lunatics? 

     I know I am not the only one who gets irritated with how the madness keeps getting earlier and earlier every year.  Lewis Black has a hilarious routine about it.  (click on his name to view it).  He also has a routine, Hanukkah Sucks, which is very funny as well.  There are friends of mine who are Jewish who complain about all the hoopla and I just joke with them, there's nothing stopping them from going over the top with Hanukkah.  After all Hanukkah is for 8 days.  Curious notion when you think about it;  why hasn't Hanukkah gone over the top?  After all it's the secular aspects of Christmas that increase with every year.  Perhaps everyone just feels that with all the pomp and circumstance of Christmas and the New Year, enough is enough.  Wouldn't surprise me.

     Still, to spite best intentions I can already tell you how it's going to go in our household.  We'll do our best to keep with the "reason for the season."  Then we'll watch a holiday movie that will inspire a Dickensian or Rockwell worth effort to add to our Christmas Spirit.  Then, I'll go a little nuts baking and cooking every recipe from ye olde yesteryear to the present.  Half way through December I'll have enough to feed Charles's, Norman's, as well as our own family.  Considering we had/have 15 kids between us, that's saying something.  Then the gifts.  We have our list, we check it twice, and rejoice in the pleasure of finding that special something for our loved ones.  Sounds good.  Till some little Christmas Imp comes along and does something.   Could be that awesome new toy, that just came out, every kid wants, and all store are sold out.  Or coffee grounds clog the sink and winkle their way to the dishwasher while it's running the dishes for Christmas dinner.  Or your pet gets into the icicles... again.  Enough said.  You know what I am talking about.  I'm sure you've had your share of Christmas Imp visits. Speaking of imps, I wonder how our elf Natale is getting along.

     As long as we stuff and roast ourselves, all should be good.  

A Book Idea

Just a quick thought for today.  I added it to "Curious Things."

I saw an ad today for Women Who Love Too Much.  Personally, I got tired of seeing books like these in the '90's.  I would like for a change, to see books entitled... Women Who Love Too Much & Why Not?  OR: So, You Used To Score & Now You Don't; Here's Why  (You never loved anyone but yourself).  

Or howzabout, She's Out of Your League; How To Get Over Yourself.  ?

I'll grant you these titles are a little ridiculous, but then so are the books that inspired them.

Confessions of A Food Snob (Recipe for Cheddar Apple Ale Soup)

     It's been a week since my last post.  Kind of been hit with "writer's block".  Between personal stuff, (dealing with loss of loved one recently, hit with missing my mom and dad and other loved ones) along with news, and the daily family errands, posting a new post was put on the back burner.  Rest assured that I have been working on several different posts, so hopefully they'll start appearing like popcorn.  How's that for a food reference?  Little kernels that after cooking in a fat and seasoning, puff up to sight; some salty, some sweet.  For starters, let's talk about what I mean when I say I am a food snob.
     I grew up in a family that loved food.   Today, it is one luxury that I refuse to do without.  I want real butter, real sugar, real salt, and real cream.  Gimme, gimme, gimme.  If my ass gets too big thanks to eating this, then I conclude that I need to move my ass a little more.   But that's for another  post.
      Car trips are fun, and in our family a given.  However when we stop for coffee at a gas station or such, rarely is actual cream offered as the "creamer"!? Come on... I drink coffee, I like it with sugar and cream.  I used to work with my coffee till it tasted like coffee ice cream; these days I prefer it to be reminiscent of espresso ice cream, but you get the gist.   I don't want to put anything in my coffee, that I couldn't feasibly (in my mind) render myself.  I have milked a cow.  I have no idea what goes into non dairy creamer, nor to I want to imagine that process.  Bleh.  Along that stream of thought is my reasoning for butter over margarine, or any "can't believe it's not butter" product.  Here's your sign:  if you're trying to make it taste like butter, why the hell not just go to butter?  Wanna less saturated fat?  Olive oil.   Wanna amp it up?  Bacon fat.  Pork bacon that is.  Again, know how pork bacon is made? In the US usually from the pig's belly.  Skin is removed, then the belly seasoned, then sliced.  That's it.  Know how turkey bacon is made?  When's the last time you saw a turkey with a nice plump belly?  Think about it.  Lots of processing needs to happen to make turkey into bacon, not to mention what needs to be added, that if I can't pronounce, fogetaboutit.   The less processing the better.  Keep it simple sweetheart.
     My thought is that old saying, "everything in moderation, especially moderation."  My Grandpa Bob, Sadie's husband, used to say, "your body craves what it needs- can't be that bad."  Obviously he never met an addict, but again, that's for another post.
     Another thought: if I can imagine that I could make the product, great,  if I haven't a clue, no go.
Better yet if my imagining includes a lovely setting, such as picking olives in Italy that go to the press to make extra virgin olive oil, versus being in a sanitized, no windowed, processing plant with me wearing a hair net, lab coat and such... well, what would you pick?
     I also don't think it's rocket science.  I know everyone is super busy these days, so I get that.  Organic is swell, but usually pricey.  Restaurants have a huge opportunity to cook food simply and well, but not all do that.  I prefer to cook at home, if it's quirky American fare, steaks, and some Italian.  Sushi and Asian fare, usually require me to go out, because I don't have fresh Ahi tuna and many of the other ingredients hanging about.  Someday maybe.
     In searching for a great breakfast place, I want coffee that tastes like more than brown bitter water, real cream, real butter, and for the love of God if you offer pancakes, there better be real maple syrup.  Yes it's expensive: FACTOR THAT IN WITH THE PRICE.   Or make a simple syrup with dark brown sugar.  Also, please offer home fries.  Thank you.
     On the other side of the table, I am also a snob when I consider some restaurants and their staffs.  
Food should be enjoyed.  By everyone.  So let's all play nice.  Temper should only refer to the method of cooking, and intense should only refer to flavor.   If either of these words come up when describing a staff member, someone needs to cut back on the caffeine.
     In a nutshell, (another food reference) I believe food is to be enjoyed and to give you sustenance.
Ideal: good food, good music in the background, and good conversation with loved ones.  Does it get any better?  Hard to imagine.
     In closing, I am sharing my recipe of a soup I whipped up last night.  Yummy and easy.  I had been hankering for a cheesey soup with beer and apples.  Thanks to Hook's Cheese Company, I have lots of great cheese on hand, as well as lots of apples from apple picking last month.  The soup is very good; all the flavors come together and it's rich but not uber thick like a chowder, or a rarebit.  Knowing me, I will probably play with it more and I will post any note worthy changes in the future.
Hint: will probably include bacon.  Enjoy!

Cheddar, Apple, Ale Soup
Makes 4-6 servings
-1 cup of diced celery
-1 cup of diced sweet onion
-1 1/2 cup of diced apple (recommend, McIntosh, Cortland, Jonathan, or Empire)
- 2 cloves of garlic minced
-6 Tablespoons of unsalted butter
-1/4 cup of unbleached all purpose flour
-2 cups of chicken stock
-1 cup of half and half
- 1 cup of Bass Ale
- 3 cups of shredded sharp cheddar cheese; I used Hook's 8yr and 10 yr Cheddars
pinch of cayenne, nutmeg, Worchestire Sauce, and cracked black pepper.

Melt butter in large soup pot.  Add celery, onions, apples, and garlic and cook until soft over medium heat, 5-8 minutes.  Add flour, stir till combined well, and then cook for about 5 minutes.  Add chicken stock and bring to boil, making sure all combined well.  If you have a wand mixer, blend with a few pulses, if not, no worry, just will have a little more texture.  Reduce heat to medium, adding half and half and beer.   Stir regularly as you add cheese, so as not to burn on the bottom.  Add cayenne, nutmeg, Worchestire Sauce and cracked black pepper.  Garnish with diced apple, shredded cheese and hearty croutons such as Rye or Pumpernickel.

ACRONYMS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!

      Started this one morning when I was looking through the job sites and had to google half a dozen or so acronyms.
     I know that with Twitter, they are essential; probably the reason I'm not a big "tweeter".  Shocking I know.

       My aggravation is becoming as ubiquitous as acronyms are.  It started when my mom was in the hospital during her last days.  A nurse told me that her doctor was going to "dc" the something or the other, followed rapidly by a lot of other medical jargon.  Trying to process all the terminology, amidst all the emotions that I was feeling was not an easy thing.   I asked, "What does 'dc' stand for?"  She looked at me as if I was a cavewoman who had just learned language, and answered curtly, "discontinue," then continued on her rapid explanation.  To which I stopped her and lambasted her.  I informed her I did not have a medical degree, and I was dealing with losing my mom.  Would it be too much to remember that and talk to me as such?  She stopped, blushed a little, and apologized.  That was the last time she used any acronym or abbreviation; with me at least.

     Today, there are just too many of them for my liking.

     This post as you see, does not include a drawing or photo.  Thought of including the poster with Ted the Bear, where he states"B-E-F-O-R-E not b4.  We speak English not f* ing bingo."  Decided to take the high road and stick to my "no swearing" rule.  For now.  With the acronym that begins the post, at least I set it in a pretty font.

      There is no way that I can list ALL the acronyms that infuriate me.  The biggies though are: acronyms that take the place of a word that would not take much more effort to type or speak; acronyms that stand for more that one organization prevalent in the news;  and acronyms used by people as a way to prove their intelligence.  All evidence to the contrary.


     I get my vengeance by speaking in metaphors and idioms.


Have a great weekend.

The Mouse Is Back

  Sadie's Gathering: This Mouse is Scary:    I originally wrote this piece in June, based on our personal experience.  A few days ago there was a rally against the Chuck E. Cheese in Smyrna, GA; due to an incidence with a father and his special needs daughter.  Seems to me Chuck E. Cheese's motto, "where a kid can be a kid" pertains only to their idea of "a kid".

Click on the following link to read more:  http://www.ajc.com/news/news/local/dozens-rally-against-chuck-e-cheese-cobb/nZ9n5/

So much for their claim of wanting a relaxing place for the parents.

Latest News From The Elves...

     Well here we are, only 117 days (give or take) until Christmas.  Just a little less than a third of the year to go.  To be completely honest, I have not given it more than an inkling of a thought.  We're having a heatwave right now, and Labor Day weekend is upon us.  The end of Summer.  <Sigh> Then, I was looking around online and came across news for some Elves on The Shelf.  Or would it be Elves on the Shelves? Any ol' hoo... Seems some will soon be winklin' their way into helping some kiddies celebrate their birthdays.  As if... and that reminded me... of our elf, Natale.  I had received another post card from her back a ways... and then I remembered what the impetus was for her trip.  Oh, I am sorry, I guess a little backstory is needed.

     Last year, as you no doubt know, Elf On The Shelf  became quite the phenomena. The book, the movie, and of course the elves.  Alas, we had a lovely Christmas sans elf, but my girls let it be known they would like to invite one to come and visit with us for the next holiday season.  My thought: to invade our privacy, not to mention God knows what else.  I pointed out that Santa had managed quite well up to that point without the need of a spy and they were to keep in mind, that Daddy and I were well aware when they are naughty or nice, and will ALWAYS supersede Santa's plans.  Not to mention, cleaning up after 2 kids and the daily tidying was enough for me during the holiday season no less.  Come on!  You've seen what those randy imps get into.  Nevertheless, worn down from their insistence over Christmas Break, I sent a letter to the North Pole requesting an audience with one of those elves.
     Right after the first of the year, I received a sweet note from an elf, Natale.  Italian heritage, and named in honor of Natale.  She was enjoying some much needed rest after the extraordinarily busy holiday season.  She diplomatically stated that with the implementation, growth, and demand of the Elf on The Shelf program, everyone was stretched a little too thin.  She wrote she was too tired to write more.  She closed with warm regards and a promise to be in touch again soon.  All of this was a jumble of scribbly Italian-English, I think.  It took me a whole afternoon to decipher and translate with the help of Italian for Dummies.
     Then, late January, I received the following post card from Natale:

On it, she wrote a link: Elf To Come to Birthdays!  What followed was a rant.  A whopper that contained a lot of slang, that I could not find any translation for, but I got the gist.  She went on about how quite a few of the elves are already feeling overworked, exploited and under appreciated.  NOW BIRTHDAYS!???  Was she supposed to wear that outfit?!  She was Italian after all, she has taste!  She hoped I understood, but she'd had enough.  She then got an idea; to take a trip around the world, and to actually visit and spend some time in all the places she had seen but only been in for a jiffy.  After all, traveling Christmas Eve, (if chosen for The Grand Ride) does not allow for a whole lot of diddle daddle or leisurely time, as you might imagine. So, she left the North Pole, and headed south.

     I must say, Natale has been very good at keeping in touch.  Hope you understand due to the personal nature in some of the post cards, I will only share what I feel is appropriate.

We received this Seattle post card in late March.  She stated she'd enjoyed traveling throughout Canada's vast land.  Had a great time in Montreal apparently.

So far, while in Washington she'd seen quite a bit as well.  Really enjoyed the grunge scene?...
Got me wondering, how old is Natale? Elf years the same as ours?  Is it all a state of mind?  Would it be rude to ask?


Got this post card from her in May, and evidentally she was already loving California. 

She didn't write much, but said there were several areas where she really felt at home.  She added she'd had a blast in Tijuana.  Not sure she knew she was in Mexico.

Although I was unsure what Natale's agenda or plan was for her world trip, I had to commend her on her taste in post cards.

Have to admit, I am a little bit jealous when I think about it; the attitude and the chuzpah Natale shows in her choices of places to visit, and all the fun she seems to be having.

Obviously, she toured around the states for awhile.  We received the Florida and New York post cards on the same day.  They were even postmarked the same date.  However, the New York had been sent from Savannah GA, and the Florida one sent from Bar Harbor ME!?  Those elves!  They sure do get around!

We received this London post card from Natale in late June.  Seemed excited that she'd "FLOWN THE POND!!!"  I can only assume she meant the Atlantic.

 Believe she's been dabbling in the local cultures along the way, because she wrote she "loved Jamaica mon" and signed off havin' a jolly ol' time-gotta grab o'pint Cheerio!"

 Mid July, received this post card from Paris.

All that was on it was one sentence in French.

"Il n'y a qu'un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'etre aime'."

 Ahhh.  I could only surmise Natale was in love.

The last card we received from Natale was around the end of July.  Wrote she was going to visit her "Bella Italia" for awhile, and was not certain of her plans beyond.  She hoped we enjoyed the card, which she said was a photo taken by her photographer friend, Pamela.  If you would like to see more of Pamela's beautiful photos, just click on her name to take you to her site.

     So, I am not sure if there will be an elf joining us this holiday season or not.  I have enjoyed receiving the cards from Natale throughout her travels, and only wish for her much happiness.  As to whether another elf will be joining us; it just doesn't feel right to me.   I know my girls are hoping that Natale's journey will put her in the holiday spirit, and that we'll be blessed with her company right after Thanksgiving.  To that I just told them, "Que sera, sera."  Which they followed promply with the customary rolling of the eyes and sighs.

Now there's the Christmas spirit.

New... for Saturday Night...Sketches

Just a new idea for SNL Sketches I'd Like To See...

A character who obviously has spent way too much time with social media, and can only answer with "Like" "Follow" "Fan" "Share" "Pin" "Link" and "Tweet".  When their exasperated friend (who longs for the conversation mode of yesteryear) asks if they would like to "Comment", the social media zombie friend answers, "Unlike".  Might make for a funny commercial spoof for something.  "Does your loved one or friend spend way too much time with the computer? Time to try the "Lightning Rod! Shock them back to sense!"  I can hear Jason Sudeikis doing this to a T- unfortunately, I think he has left SNL.

In case you haven't checked it out yet, here's the rest:

This page will be subjects that I believe would make good Saturday Night Live sketches.  Maybe some day Lorne Michaels will stop by.  Any ol' hoo, these are fun to think about.  

-Martha Stewart's long lost or "black sheep" sister.... white trash, but very creative with a variety items.  Lots of possibilities I think.

-Parody of Caillou.  Caillou, his sister, all the characters, and don't forget the saccharine sweet narrator. They did a brilliant parody on Dora the Explorer entitled Maraka and Mittens.  If you haven't seen it click to watch.

-Right now it's summer and I am seeing lots of toys promoted. However there are the "As Seen on TV" toys like Flashlight Friends, Seat Pets, Stuffies, and Tummy Stuffers, that you don't know what you get till you get it and may be more gimmicky than other toys.  They always say "great for all ages"... well imagine a college age kid, an adult, or an elderly person with a Flashlight Friend, Seat Pet (maybe a Bum Bud, for the tush) or a Stuffie-  great for hiding whatever you don't want your spouse or kids to see... different paraphernalia can fit! 

-On the same line as the "As Seen on TV" toys-  gimmicky toys that enable adults to carry things discreetly. 

-Chuck E. Cheese's How-to Video for the Say Cheese! App.  Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader would have done it phenomenally, but I know there's others that could do it justice as well.

-A take on Ana and Christian from the 50 Shades series.  Shows them after 50 Shades Freed.  Does Christian load the dishwasher correctly?  When Christian starts to get "bossy", what used to turn Ana on, now causes her to suspect he's trying to get out of doing the mundane things she's asked him to do.  Hows about does either one get the "7 year itch"?  Maybe Christian is a little too nice now, and she gets the hots for the plumber?  Again, think there's lots of funny potential scenarios.