My Take on Marriage

Just a little updates... since I wrote this in August of 2013...💕Gratitude to Jimmy Buffett...

     What do I think of marriage?  It's great.  That is my opinion today.  What I think most days, is it's a lot of work.  My husband will say the same.  Thankfully, it's work we both enjoy.  We had both been around enough to know that going in. It's compromises, concessions, and work to share your life with someone. It's a choice, and a privilege that not everyone gets to enjoy.  I think it takes 2, maybe more, to make it work- only 1 to make it not work.  I won't say fail, because I think if people look back on a marriage that didn't last till "death do us part",  there are still a lot of good and fun memories, and maybe even kids- so, in my opinion that's hardly failing.  

That's a choice as well, that yields its own compromises, concessions and rewards.

     I like my husband as well as love him.  

We have a lot of similarities, and quite a bit 

of differences.  The big one, politics.  For those

that James Carville's and Mary Matalin's marriage befuddles them- I can say that it does cause some debates, but we know we're never gonna change each other, (nor do we wish to) and for the most part get why the other votes the way they do and enjoy the enlightening each of us bring.  We've been together for nearly 16 years, and I can honestly say, he still makes me smile and usually laugh almost every day.  Most the time it's even intentional.

Mosquitoes; What's The Point?

     I love summer.  However, one of the major pitfalls for me is the wretched mosquitoes.    In the spring when mosquitoes first start to appear, I could swear I can hear them sing and dance, the moment I step outside.  I currently have 15 bites.
     It was one of the lovely things about living in Southern California; very little humidity= no mosquitoes.  In the 8 years that we lived there, I got 1 bite!  And I am certain that little suckers traveled oodles of miles just to find me.  Maybe I should feel flattered ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Technology vs. Me...

Porcupine in a Balloon Factory ©SJaye 2013, This post 

     As you no doubt know by now, I go NUTS dealing with technology.  

     I even fail to see the benefit of having a huge television.  Yet, having to own the latest phone where you can watch the exact same thing, on a teensy-weensy screen... AIE AIE AIE.

     I constantly misdial, mistype, or somehow, get to some unintended person or screen, only to let rip a stream of obscenities~ you probably will not see here.

     In fact, it is quite common for my husband to walk into a room, only to hear me swearing at an inanimate object, that he doesn't bat an eye; he knows better than to laugh.
 
     I often say, "for every thing that technology helps; is causes another 2 headaches."

     There have been many medical advances, as well as other types of progress, that without technology, would only be a dream.  I know that.  That is why I strive with the finesse of a porcupine in a balloon factory to learn and keep up with the latest kryptonite. 

     Writing this blog has been quite an adventure for a non-techie like me.  I have a Mac computer with a big ol' monitor that is larger than our family television.  Boggling I know, that we only have one tv. However it suits us.  I love my Mac, and since beginning to spend more time on it during the last year, I have begun to understand what all the hubbub is about.  Still, there are times that I still roll my eyes.

     If you read my post, The Perks of Being Fired, you'll recognize this picture:

Yes, I modeled for this.

     While I know this contraption is used in many fields, and different professions; I am not a fan.  I understand fully the need for it if you are protecting the President or another person of equal stature.  

     I also get it, that it helps when communicating across a large area, such as a restaurant, sports arena, or stage.   However, in these scenarios, where it's not a matter of national security; I think it's important to realize the impression the wired ear pods give, to what are paying guests/customers.  Those are who keeps businesses in business. 

     I humbly suggest to think long and hard, about WHO REALLY NEEDS TO BE WIRED?

     There are public service announcements, that are showing with more frequency, about the loss of loved ones due to texting while driving.  Pretty sure it's illegal now in most places.  Still, it's unnerving how many drivers, I witness doing exactly that; not to mention how many who are obviously "on a call", while driving.  Either that, or there's a lot more talking to one's self going on these days.

     Think about all the ways technology has affected us.

     I grew up in a time, when one learned how read body language.  When conversing, looking someone in the eye was a sign of respect.  With people looking constantly at screens of one kind or another, looking someone in the eye today, makes people uncomfortable.  

     Last weekend, while dining with a friend at a nice local restaurant, the what I presume was the manager stopped by to check on us.  After the initial "good evening," his eyes scanned the room instead of meeting with either of ours, for the remainder of the query.  My friend had sent her entree back, and when he stopped we assumed it was due to that, but then he didn't mention it or ask about it.   My friend, (who's in sales) and I got a kick out of it.  I think we could have told him Martians had landed, and he would have given us the same slick, rehearsed spiel.
      Dating has changed as well.  Gone are the days of the "smolder" or "look of longing".  Now,  after finding each other through a site, be it Hot Singles, Match.com, or Christian Mingle, I would be surprised if the two individuals in question actually found time to have an actual conversation amid the "tweeting" about the possibilities of their date; who they googled extensively prior to the date to find out all pertinent info.

     On the matter of technology that's less obviously "wired"- remember the good ol' days when you decided when you were finished on the pottie?  In the attempt of saving water, most public places now have toilets that flush automatically ... still figuring out what the "cue" is.  

     Then you move on to washing your hands.  There are times I swear, there must be a hidden camera complete with an audience laughing uproariously as I try to find one spigot that will bestow water onto my hands, as well as anticipate what direction the automatic soap dispenser will spurt.  Finally, drying your hands: the new dryers- you might as well wipe your hands on a piece of clothing (I suggest your own); or if it is working- be sure to hold on to your hat.  Checking the mirror before you leave the restroom might be wise as well.
   
     Keeping this topical, where would some politicians be without technology?  On one hand, (naughty, naughty) without it they may have kept their fantasy lives "closer to the vest".   On the other hand, (I admit, I am smirking as I write this) since they are endowed with technology, it's not in the same realm in my opinion, as other polititians who've committed various acts (and what variety!) mano a mano, or au naturel; so to speak.

    Going forward, this old fashioned porcupine will try to walk the fine line/tight rope between being digitally literate, and overwired.  However there are some of the old customs that I hope remain, so I vow to continue-   
     When I meet someone new, look them in the eye, and smile.  If the mood strikes, shake hands.
     Enjoy and engage in actual conversation.
     Remember how fun it is to laugh with another human being.
     Because no matter how advanced technology gets, it will never satisfy all the senses.  

     Lastly I will still read,  books.  I love the smell, the history, the je n'sais quoi...  that jumps out from my 1911 edition of J.M. Barrie's,  Peter and Wendy.  It's old, heavy, and lovely.  No Nook, nor Kindle, nor whatevah, can hold a candle to that.  And I also love the smell of a wood burning fireplace; no flippa switch for me, thank you.

    

This post was originally published on 7/31/2013!  Ten years ago, yet I still get miffed by technology.

I have a new post coming that will air my thoughts on AI 😉

If you enjoy my blog and donate $, I'd be ever so grateful! 

Happy Holidays! 

What I've Learned!

     In honor of my oldest daughter, turning 21 today! 

     I'd like to share what I've learned thus far from being a parent!  Originally posted this on 9/11/2015, when my darlin was 11.

     Now, as I've told relatively new parents; you're kids are kids for about 10 years... then... when their bodies begin to change in many different ways... they'll remind you of your teen years... and they will be more like roomies(roommates), than your children.

     When I was a teen, my mom told me, my hormones would even out, in around my mid 20's; and I would not view anything as dramatically terrible, as I did when I was a teen.  

     I remember rolling my eyes to her, whenever she mentioned that point ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

     Then, I moved to Chicago, in '91, after I graduated from WVU.

      I worked at a Futon Store, for a couple of years and made a couple of friends there.  

     Also, when I sold a futon to a woman, who'd just graduated and moved from Boston; and she lived around the corner from my studio apartment; we became friends!  We were roommates for a few years.  

     Then once, while in our first apartment; I'd gone out with a nice young man, named Pete; he took me out to dinner and we had a fun evening!  When he dropped me off, we kissed for the first time; and he said he'd call me, and we'd go out again!  I thought then we'd be dating for a good bit. 

     Then a couple of weeks later, my roomie asked if I was going to go out again with that hot guy; and she asked, 'What is his name?'

     So, this is what I replied: "Pete, is the name of that guy I went out with.  He said he'd call me, and we'd go out again.  Yet... since it's been 2 or 3 weeks... I guess he either lost it, or tossed my phone...so, no more time with Pete..."

     "Oh my God!  So sorry... "

     And I said, "Who gives a sh*t... there's so many other hot guys in Chicago!"  Then we laughed! 

     Then I called my mom; told her about it; told her "YOU"RE RIGHT!!! I DON'T GIVE A SH*T" and Mom laughed!  

     Then I apologized for all the fits I through as a teen; and she told me, 'Babe, you were easy...' and I replied, "May be because I was an only child," ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

     If you're a parent, I'm sure I have nothing on you.😉   

OH BOY!

COMING SOON...

Tried to make this picture bigger, but couldn't.  Pity.

UPDATE AS OF AUGUST 2016~ TALLYWACKERS CLOSED.  Shocking. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

UPDATE:  TALLYWACKERS OPENS MAY 30.  THE MENU LOOKS PRETTY GOOD.

Why are there parentheses around "Our" in "'Our' Homemade Ice Cream"?  Ew.  May want to rethink that. 

Link to Tallywackers' Menu: 

http://tallywackers.com/menu.html

Where shall I begin?

      I first noticed a teaser for Tallywackers on Facebook.  Just the word.  Tallywackers-teeheeheehee.  
What could that be referring to? 

"Let It Go", "Shake It Off"...

 I have no proof of the above; but would not be a bit surprised to walk in on this~ 

Just a quick thought today.

As a mom, I have said the phrases, "let it go" and "shake it off" heaven knows how many times.   And with both phrases; long before Ms. Menzel and Ms. Swift capitalized on them by setting them to music. 

So, what's next?  What common phrase should be the next big musical hit?

What's A Mommy To Do?

     As a mom who nursed each of my daughters for 18+ months, I found this cartoon hilarious:

  (click)"Prepared Mommy"

     It's been a little over 4 years since I weaned my youngest, but I still remember well, the odd looks, and the whispers, directed my way as I struggled continuously to be modest and retain a tad of privacy for my baby and me.  This post is about that time, what I discovered, and I'll feature the links to all the goodies, if you are interested.  Many I think are a tad silly.  BUT THIS IS MOTHERHOOD.  So if there's a gadget that makes it a tad easier, or lifts your spirits; far be it for me to say squat.

Roundup

I've thought about doing these from time to time.

There's just some days that my mind is more scattered than others; and today is such a day.

Kids are driving me a bit mad today... then I read this great post by Banmi Laditan, 5 Minutes in a Mom's Head; and remembered I'm far from alone.

Enlighten Me

      Did you hear about what a grandma and a preacher said about Frozen?
      Sounds like the intro to a joke.

      Can someone please enlighten me and tell me where oh where, in Frozen, are these parts that are turning our kids gay?  I apparently overlooked them.  Mind you, I don't worry about that, just so long as my daughters get the unconditional love for thy sister message.  That message, registered so strongly with me that I continue with my unconditional love for thy sister tirade, day in a day out still; even though we saw Frozen back in November.  I confess, felt like I'd hit the jackpot when I saw Elsa and Anna's shining examples of sisterly love. "See, how well they play together?  How nice!  They say they love each other and hug each other without anyone telling them to!  Notice, they don't hit, whine, sass, tell on each other, trade raspberries, etc. etc. etc."  That's the message I took from the movie.  As my daughters argue in the next room, I realize with a sigh to myself; it has yet to sink in with them.
     What did sink in?

Newt Gingrich Called...

     Politicians, Nonprofits Organizations, and businesses that rely on telemarketing, would get so much more support from me if there was a human being on the other end of the line- when they call me to promote a candidate, save the whales, or sell a home security system.  Not all the phones in our house have caller ID, thus why I answer these calls.
     Newt Gingrich phoned the other day.  I'm not a fan.  He was promoting a GOP candidate for some office.  Honestly- he had me at "Hi, this is Newt Gingrich".  Excellent.  I said "hello, is this a human?" just wanted to be sure it was a recording, and it was!  Golden opportunity.  I was also not best pleased to clamor out of the bathroom, dodge toys in the hall, maneuver around the bed, to answer the phone; just to get one of these calls.  So, given my daughters were at school, I could use any language I darn well pleased,  I proceeded to unload my thoughts about a few other choice topics to Mr. Gingrich, over top of the recording.  Mature? Nope.  Cathartic?  Not really.  However, I can't say, that after Newt and I hung up, I felt it was totally without merit.  Strange.

Return From Cuckoo Land

Got to see The Lego Movie yesterday.

Kids really enjoyed it, as did the parents, it seemed.

Don't want to give away any key plot points, so I'll just say there's a sweet message; albeit with my suspicion that Lego has plans to take over the world, I didn't find it entirely altruistic.

Don't worry, you'll be saying "Everything is awesome," for a long time.  Like it or not.



In case you didn't see it, I'm resharing my post, "Today's Toys, Kids' Dream; Parents' Nightmare".

Hope you enjoy.

Why Are Social Media Not Social?

Rolling my eyes.  Yet again.

     Think you know by now, I am not the most tech savvy.

     Let's begin with my blog.

     I try to change the picture for the "cover" and it rarely comes out how it shows it in "Preview".  Never know what size it's going to come out.   Not sure what determines it.

     Then, as Sadie's is a fairly young blog, I try to build my audience, by asking friends to check the blog out and joining.  I have had more than a couple of people tell me, they couldn't, for some reason, it wouldn't let them, etc.  Yes, I too suspected passive aggressiveness, but then I sat with a friend while she tried to join, and witnessed Google or whatever kicking her off, and saying that option was not available at that time, and to try later.

     Whether it's Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest; just as I have the format close to figured out, they change it.

     Since there's never a freakin' human being to find to help- how can they call it "social media"?

Google Glass's New App

 Okay, okay, "you can leave your hat on", but for the love of God, please leave your Google Glass at the door.  Preferably the front door.  Far away from the bedroom.

     Just in case you haven't heard, Google Glass has a new application coming soon: Google Glance.   This new handy dandy software (every pun intended) lets you watch and record your sex acts; along with a few other options.

Thank you, Huffington Post for keeping me up on the latest technological advances.

     I spent some time looking up about Google Glass, and while I understand there may be times where Google Glass serves a purpose, that is not the point of this post.
   Please, oh please, let Fred Armisen host SNL or make a guest appearance in the near future and do a follow up to his hilarious first sketch about Google Glass.  In case you haven's seen it, I think it aired last April.  I tried to link it up through YouTube, but due to a copyright, it's no longer available.  I will add the main gist of this post, to my "SNL Sketches I'd Like To See," when I

"Poo-Tunes" A New SNL Idea

So if you hop over to SNL Sketches I'd Like To See , you'll see a new sketch idea I'd love to see; "Poo-Tunes".  Given my issue with scatological topics, I am actually quite proud of myself.  Albeit admittedly in a weird way. 

Not exactly the post I thought I would have for my 1 year anniversary- but what the hay, have a great day!

S.

P.S. Guess this is sort of a follow up to my, " A Few Thoughts From The Prude" post.


Update: Went ahead and added the idea here:

 - A new product idea from folks at Poo-Pourri: "Poo-Toons!" A mini-ipod-thingamajig- to complete that impression of using the loo- or rather not using the loo, along with the Poo-Pourri scents.  Have one of the outstanding talents of SNL be the "Dame in Blue Taffeta"- with a similar monologue about those tell tale sounds that happen while you're emptying those "cavernous bowels."  What's the point in smelling like roses, if you, your bum, or the water makes noises reminiscent of birthing a midsized mammal?  Sounds offered could include, "ocean waves", "trickling stream", barnyard animals, or hell, any animal. I mean, imagine the thought going through a fellow public restroom guest's head, as they hear a whale song from the adjacent stall!  Again lots of hilarious possibilities here.  "Your favorite artists available. The top of the line offered, is of course, Puccini."  He's quite possibly rolling in his grave as I type this.


 

Hello... Is Anybody Out There?

Not a big Pink Floyd fan, just a quick vent about my frustrations of trying to reach a human being.

Facebook, Google, Linkedin, and so many others.

As a habit, when someone calls, I try to return their call asap.  Same goes for email.  Wish others would follow suit.

     I was in the middle of cleaning my daughters room, which is a bit like working on the wake of a storm, when the phone rings.  When I answered it was a telemarketer, made to sound like a real human, trying to sell something.  "If you are interested press '1', if you wished to be removed from the call list, Press '2'."   I had received this offer many times before, and had remained on the phone long enough to hear the options, then followed their direction by pressing "2" to be removed to no avail.  So this time, I pressed "1" to speak to a "representative."  When a jolly male representative answered with a chipper "Hi, my name is 'so and so', how can I be of service?"  I answered nicely, "I have received this offer many times, and always have pressed '2', but that has obviously not worked, so I  pressed '1' this time to hopefully get that goal accomplished, and be removed from your calling list..."  He hung up.

     Way to represent the company.  Wait'll they call next time.
 
     Now actually at the time of writing this part, who knows how many more times I have received this call, always with a recording saying "This is your second and final chance..."  REALLY?! PROMISE?!  So for a long time now, I just have accepted the fact that I will continue to receive this company's calls.  However, the other day, I tried again.  This time I got on the line with what sounded like an older woman, you know reminiscent of your grandma.  I started our conversation as sweet as molasses, and told her one of her coworkers had hung up on me.  "Oh Sweetie, I am so sorry to hear that, let me assure you that I'll take care of your requests."  I began to explain why I did not need what they were offering; Granny was gone before I finished my first sentence.

     As for the social media, such as the ones listed above, I am so tired of their intuitive software.  I think that's what it's called.  When you go to the "Help" section and type in your question; then you have options from whatever key word they decided is the key word.   Then usually what follows is a question: "Was this helpful?"  This is where you rate it from "Extremely Helpful" to "Not at All."
Seems to me if it was truly intuitive, it would know the answer.

     Since it is the beginning of the year, I thought I would post this now in case anyone out there would like to carpe diem so to speak, and create yet another social network that is actually social itself.

Cause I am pretty certain that there are others out there.

A Few Thoughts From The Prude

      As I stated a few days ago on my facebook page, I have been of two minds about doing this post.  My aforementioned aversion to scatological topics; missing out on the potty humor card as a child; and just well, there's so many other things in the world that I'd rather talk about.
      However, given that I have a 6 year old who thinks, "fart", "poop", and the thought of her "butt eating her pants during the night", are some of the world's funniest things- she can't stop laughing and is so darling... I figured; what the heck, might as well.
     For the most part it will be about Poo-Pourri, that ubiquitous spray that is popping up everywhere.
However I feel a few thoughts are due for adult wipes as well.
    
       For starters, why is it always Brits doing these ads?  I have friends from England, Ireland, Australia; and while we have discussed and laughed over many things, even quite personal topics, what happens while we're in the loo, has never been discussed.  Let me assure you, I don't care if it was the Duchess of Windsor; if she interrupted my wedding to discuss potty wipes with my guests,  there'd be trouble!  Not to mention Cottonelle and Poo-Pourri products are all made in America I think.

      As I stated in "Curious Things" a while back, I wonder who decided there was a need for adult wipes.   I know in the case of nursing homes, and debilitating illnesses there's the need but that's not what I'm talking about.  I am referring to the upswing of trying to sell wipes as a means of thoroughly cleaning the bum past the age of 3.  For the average physically able person, who manages to multitask like never before in history; yet somehow can't be bothered to take the time to wipe their own ass.  I'm pretty certain that I read a while back that despite Cottonelle's (and other toiletry companies) claim of being flushable, these wipes were wreaking havoc on plumbing across our great nation.  Seriously doubt that they help that landfill situation.  "Yea, the environment is going to pot, but my ass is clean as a whistle."
     Now for the darlings over at Poo-Pourri.
     I applaud the success of Ms. Batiz, the woman behind the scent.  Hers is yet another example of the creative, crazy ideas that have succeeded in the past few years.  Like the professional mermaid,  another creative career that may not have come about in less than these "interesting times"; call them what you will.  Ms. Batiz has enjoyed continued growth with her company since 2007, and I'm sure that it will continue to thrive.  Still "the Prude" has a few thoughts.     
     If you google Poopourri, the #1 entry that takes you to their site, is "Girls Don't Poop".  Come on!  We, (women) have things to do other than keep the world neat, tidy and smelling pretty.  As for the dame in the blue taffeta cocktail dress- pretty sure if she doesn't change between working, going to a party, and snuggling with her boyfriend, (while watching a game, no less) the scent that she casts in the bathroom will be the least of her worries.  I'm just sayin'.  As for the claim, "that it saves relationships"; Really?!  I think we all know that when relationships go down the drain, there's no spray between Heaven and Hell, that gets rid of that stink.  If your man can't come to grips with the idea that his lady "goes" just like he does, can you imagine his reaction when you ask him to pick up a box of tampons for you?  Again, I'm just sayin'.  If he's that delicate, there's going to be trouble down the line.
     When you go on the site, you'll find products with entertaining, punny names.   Despite my scatological issues, I applaud all the scent combinations available and am sure they're all just tantalizing.  However, even the manly scent of "basil, bay, and fir" wasn't enough to sway my Romeo.  As you see above, he again contributed his talents, and the man's quote from the cartoon pretty much sums up my husband's thoughts on the matter.
     While writing this, a post I read a while back came to mind:  Everything You Know About Your Hygiene Is Wrong.  If you click to read, go to #4.  Uh huh.  Get my point?  If you didn't click, in a nutshell, it states that through the research of a couple of myth busters, if you flush the toilet with the lid up, particles of what was in the toilet go into the air, everywhere; including among other places on your toothbrush.  Pleasant, I know.  Now, with Poo-Pourri, in addition to whatever else, is on our toothbrushes we can add anything from basil, blood orange, fir tree, and spearmint.   Although mint on my toothbrush isn't an idea, that usually offends, this is not how I want it to get there.  Here's another thought on mint.  Ever use mint soap, or bath wash?  Tingly doesn't even begin to describe the sensation.  I used some once; that soap became solely for my feet thereafter.  Enough said I hope.  Now think about some of those Poo-Pourri's scents that have essential oils of mints and citrus.  Is there anything keeping those essential oils from floating up to your, uh... essentials?
     In visiting their site several times for this post, I can't help but notice that the video that welcomes one to the site, has changed from "Miss Blue Taffeta Brit" to a video that is a 90 second History of Poo-Pourri.   With the initial shot, along with a few other scenes, I am tempted to rename the video for obvious reasons, "Mr. Commando".  On the whole, it's nice to hear the backstory (or would that be backside story?) there were times that I felt a little too much was being shared.  Then again, I'm a prude, so maybe that's just me.
     Lastly, the company now has a Pottie Mouth Breath Mist.  Call me silly, but there is no way in Hell that I'll be buying my breath spray from a company that's main focus is ridding odors from the toilet.  What if a worker accidentally got the formulas mixed up?  It could happen.
     Well, so glad to get that off my chest.  Hope everyone took it in the light spirit of fun that it was meant.  I wish Ms. Batiz and her loo crew, continued success.  As for the wipes, we all have our little issues with the necessary steps we need to make for the environment.  For me, I live in fear that one of those CFL bulbs is going to break and we'll have to evacuate our house to escape the Mercury poisoning.  I also will admit that I have several friends that enjoy all of the above products, and they regard me as a sort of uncouth, old fashioned, lost cause.  I, on the other hand, wish them luck when they get caught without their vice and have to come to grips with reality.  It' all quite cozy.


Have a nice day now.



Psst... betcha if you spray a little mixture of your own, or some other natural concoction (think: little girls' perfume) in the toilet before you do your business, it will work the same.  Again, I'm just sayin'.

Did you hear? There are now, Nadkins! Male hygiene wipes! Read all about 'em!

Also BE SURE TO CHECK OUT -> POO-TUNES
a new product idea.

Ever Feel Like This?

This cutie is brought to you courtesy of my talented husband, Davis Jaye.  The idea is mine, courtesy of my life, as well as everyone's I know.

     I remember thinking when I first became a mom, "why wasn't I born an octopus?"  Then one morning, after getting more than an hour of uninterrupted sleep and having a big ass* caffeine infused beverage, logic returned. 

If I had been born an Octopus, my offspring would be octopi.

That would pretty much defeat the purpose.
So, I hope this brings a smile , and empathizes with everyone;  especially during the holiday season.

Just to let you know, one of my thoughts for Sadie's Gathering in 2014 is to "open" a little store with just a few little things.  Coffee mugs, tee shirts, bumper stickers, cotton reusable bags and the sort.  The artwork will be cartoons that I have featured in My Take on Marriage,  Go Forth & Behave, this octopus, and a few others.  Please let me know your interest in the comment section.  Thanks in advance.

Happy Holidays!

*While I don't regularly swear on Sadie's Gathering, I will use the word "ass" from time to time, as did J. M. Barrie's Tinkerbell in his timeless children's classic Peter and Wendy.

The Elves & Me

If you are a follower of Sadie's Gathering, you are probably aware of the happenings of our elf, Natale, and that she recently got married.

     Yesterday a friend of mine posted on Facebook that she did not have an Elf on the Shelf, and was wondering if she was the only "uncool" mom.  She's one of my members here, so I just stated the news of Natale and let it be known that she was not the only one.  Here's my reasoning behind not hosting another elf on the shelf, since ours had plans other than adorning our shelves throughout the holiday season.

     First and foremost, I believe it would be rude.  In a nutshell, nobody likes to play second fiddle.

     Beyond that, I have always found these elves, that come into homes, make messes, spy on their hosts and hostesses, then report back to Santa, a little off putting to say the least.  Consider; would you put up with a grown sibling, coming for a visit, reeking havoc, in your house, (which may include "cavorting", drinking in excess, and making a mess of your baking supplies) during what is already a hectic and stressful time of year- then reporting back to Mom?  Didn't think so.  Especially, if you were the one who paid their travel expenses!

     Aside from what I think is the obvious for not hosting one of these ungrateful imps, there is another reason.  Santa has always come through.  For years.  For generations.  Without these elves; and without this year's special light courtesy of Hallmark.  See, I am 45 years old, and I still believe in Santa.  This would be true, even if I wasn't a mom.

     By the time I was 8 or 9 I was told there was no Santa Claus.  When I consulted my mom on the matter, she asked me to consider: did it really matter how my gifts arrived, so long as they arrived?  Did it matter really if a jolly plump old elf delivered them with the aid of flying reindeer (which incidentally she refused to profess one way or another) or if they came from those who loved me?  I had to be honest.  Not really.  Still, the cast was set.  I BELIEVED.  It had nothing to do with logic, common sense, or scientific fact.  It had everything to do with hope, faith, and the belief that anything is possible.  That is the magic.

     The ability to believe in concepts that we cannot yet see or prove is a skill that often defines a life; between one that believes, and one that doubts.

      Believing in the possibility has created many things that today we take for granted:  the lightbulb; electricity; vaccinations;  the computer.  Believing in a person without reason, can be the very essence of what inspires them to do great things.  To believe in what is beyond our nose and the stores' shelves is the meaning of Christmas.  It's what Francis P. Church wrote about in his famous letter.  "...in all the world there is nothing else real and abiding."

     The Elf on the Shelf, provided a charming family tradition for the creators' family.  So charming that they wanted to pass it on.  I completely understand.  Practically speaking though, The Elves on the Shelves (or Elves on the Shelf- I never know which is correct) didn't enter our realm, until last year, when my daughters saw it for sale at Barnes and Noble.  So.  I know you may be thinking, "Were you under a rock?" to which my reply is "Hey! I had things going on."  Be that as it may they appeared to my daughters as yet another doll to add to their collections.  When we all learned the story, I had some explaining to do.  Let me remind you that my youngest is a future Atticus Finch.    I knew better than to think for a moment, I would ever enjoy that benefit of "be good or your elf will tell Santa."  It was exhausting.  After I finished explaining, I assured them that Santa would always find a way without these special elves.  They stated that they understood but found them to be "sooo adorable! Can we each have one anyways PLEEEAASSSE?"  (Again, let me remind you of my issues with toys)  I then uttered the time honored parental phrase, "We'll see."

     As with a lot of things, I started to do research into these elves.  I came upon Kim Bongiorno's Elf Shaming.  Thank you Kim!  If you click on the link, you'll be directed to the "About" page of the site.  From there you can look around the Elf Shaming site, well worth the time- lots of laughs; or she provides links to a lot of other very funny posts about these, let's face it imps.  After doing the "research",  I concluded that I was not an enthusiastic housekeeper to start with, don't like to share my beer, and make enough of a mess baking; without the help of a 13 inch cherub.  Of course, be sure to read the Grand Dame of all, PIWTPITT's "Overachieving Elf On The Shelf Mommies."  Still great fun to read!

So, at this point, we are still sans elf. 
And on Christmas Eve, I will still look up in the sky to see the tell tale red light that lets me know,
Santa is on his way.

 

Natale's Wedding

While a lot of you out there are welcoming your Elf on The Shelf for the season, ours has answered another calling.  Our elf, Natale, recently married a fellow Italian, Giovanni.

I am very happy for them and wish them many years of happiness.  As you see, she was a lovely bride.

As for our family, we'll be keeping Christmas in the way our family has for generations.

Santa always finds a way.

Can We Just Relax?

     Here it is the Monday before Thanksgiving; the beginning of the holiday season.  In most places we have seen holiday decorations and preparations on sale since the beginning of November if not before Halloween. 

     Can we do that inevitable huge sigh together?  Here we go... SIIIIGGGGGHHHH ...(repeat as necessary)

     Is all the hubbub necessary?

     Don't misunderstand, I love the holidays, but there are some commercial practices these days, that have me rolling my eyes.  Found out yesterday that department stores are giving their customers an early start to black Friday- by starting on Thursday!  They opt out of mentioning that Thursday is indeed a holiday unto itself.  Just state that there are amazing, one of a kind, sales to be had on THURSDAY.  Huh.  What are they counting on?  That we'll forget it's THANKSGIVING?
Or are they just betting we're all lunatics? 

     I know I am not the only one who gets irritated with how the madness keeps getting earlier and earlier every year.  Lewis Black has a hilarious routine about it.  (click on his name to view it).  He also has a routine, Hanukkah Sucks, which is very funny as well.  There are friends of mine who are Jewish who complain about all the hoopla and I just joke with them, there's nothing stopping them from going over the top with Hanukkah.  After all Hanukkah is for 8 days.  Curious notion when you think about it;  why hasn't Hanukkah gone over the top?  After all it's the secular aspects of Christmas that increase with every year.  Perhaps everyone just feels that with all the pomp and circumstance of Christmas and the New Year, enough is enough.  Wouldn't surprise me.

     Still, to spite best intentions I can already tell you how it's going to go in our household.  We'll do our best to keep with the "reason for the season."  Then we'll watch a holiday movie that will inspire a Dickensian or Rockwell worth effort to add to our Christmas Spirit.  Then, I'll go a little nuts baking and cooking every recipe from ye olde yesteryear to the present.  Half way through December I'll have enough to feed Charles's, Norman's, as well as our own family.  Considering we had/have 15 kids between us, that's saying something.  Then the gifts.  We have our list, we check it twice, and rejoice in the pleasure of finding that special something for our loved ones.  Sounds good.  Till some little Christmas Imp comes along and does something.   Could be that awesome new toy, that just came out, every kid wants, and all store are sold out.  Or coffee grounds clog the sink and winkle their way to the dishwasher while it's running the dishes for Christmas dinner.  Or your pet gets into the icicles... again.  Enough said.  You know what I am talking about.  I'm sure you've had your share of Christmas Imp visits. Speaking of imps, I wonder how our elf Natale is getting along.

     As long as we stuff and roast ourselves, all should be good.