My Take on Marriage

Just a little updates... since I wrote this in August of 2013...💕Gratitude to Jimmy Buffett...

     What do I think of marriage?  It's great.  That is my opinion today.  What I think most days, is it's a lot of work.  My husband will say the same.  Thankfully, it's work we both enjoy.  We had both been around enough to know that going in. It's compromises, concessions, and work to share your life with someone. It's a choice, and a privilege that not everyone gets to enjoy.  I think it takes 2, maybe more, to make it work- only 1 to make it not work.  I won't say fail, because I think if people look back on a marriage that didn't last till "death do us part",  there are still a lot of good and fun memories, and maybe even kids- so, in my opinion that's hardly failing.  

That's a choice as well, that yields its own compromises, concessions and rewards.

     I like my husband as well as love him.  

We have a lot of similarities, and quite a bit 

of differences.  The big one, politics.  For those

that James Carville's and Mary Matalin's marriage befuddles them- I can say that it does cause some debates, but we know we're never gonna change each other, (nor do we wish to) and for the most part get why the other votes the way they do and enjoy the enlightening each of us bring.  We've been together for nearly 16 years, and I can honestly say, he still makes me smile and usually laugh almost every day.  Most the time it's even intentional.

Aren't We Lucky!

Posted originally 2/3/14

     Every once in a while I consider how lucky we are.  When it's clear at night, I look out up at the  sky, consider the vastness of it, and think as far as we know, we are the only ones that get to experience this.

Life.  Concious life.  All the joy, all the pain.  Both are a part of it.

PLEASE CLICK ON THE TITLE TO READ THE ENTIRE POST.

What I've Learned!

     In honor of my oldest daughter, turning 21 today! 

     I'd like to share what I've learned thus far from being a parent!  Originally posted this on 9/11/2015, when my darlin was 11.

     Now, as I've told relatively new parents; you're kids are kids for about 10 years... then... when their bodies begin to change in many different ways... they'll remind you of your teen years... and they will be more like roomies(roommates), than your children.

     When I was a teen, my mom told me, my hormones would even out, in around my mid 20's; and I would not view anything as dramatically terrible, as I did when I was a teen.  

     I remember rolling my eyes to her, whenever she mentioned that point ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

     Then, I moved to Chicago, in '91, after I graduated from WVU.

      I worked at a Futon Store, for a couple of years and made a couple of friends there.  

     Also, when I sold a futon to a woman, who'd just graduated and moved from Boston; and she lived around the corner from my studio apartment; we became friends!  We were roommates for a few years.  

     Then once, while in our first apartment; I'd gone out with a nice young man, named Pete; he took me out to dinner and we had a fun evening!  When he dropped me off, we kissed for the first time; and he said he'd call me, and we'd go out again!  I thought then we'd be dating for a good bit. 

     Then a couple of weeks later, my roomie asked if I was going to go out again with that hot guy; and she asked, 'What is his name?'

     So, this is what I replied: "Pete, is the name of that guy I went out with.  He said he'd call me, and we'd go out again.  Yet... since it's been 2 or 3 weeks... I guess he either lost it, or tossed my phone...so, no more time with Pete..."

     "Oh my God!  So sorry... "

     And I said, "Who gives a sh*t... there's so many other hot guys in Chicago!"  Then we laughed! 

     Then I called my mom; told her about it; told her "YOU"RE RIGHT!!! I DON'T GIVE A SH*T" and Mom laughed!  

     Then I apologized for all the fits I through as a teen; and she told me, 'Babe, you were easy...' and I replied, "May be because I was an only child," ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

     If you're a parent, I'm sure I have nothing on you.😉   

Take A Moment... Then Pass it On!

**I was planning on running this post again, on account that it's been a year since Ms. Tuff's and Mr. Hill's inspiring actions.  With the death of Robin Williams, who brought so many smiles and so much laughter, over so many years; and who'll be missed by those who knew him, and so many that didn't- it seems fitting all the more. 

So, as the summer ends, and our kids head back to school, I ask again that you "take a moment, then pass it on."

Wishing all love, compassion and hope.

This was originally started Friday, August 23rd, 2013, and as suspected there is not much in the news today about what happened in Atlanta, just a week ago.  My wish is the same nonetheless, so please, take a moment to read, then pass on.  Thank you.

     As I sit down to write, I confess that I thought I would be working on another post.  A post about our Elf.  That post will be light, and I hope funny, but as important that I feel it is to strive to keep things light and funny if at all possible, I know there are more important things.  And THIS is one of them.  Not for promoting Sadie's, but I truly hope that this is the post that goes viral.  So please, take a moment to READ THIS POST, (actually approximately 4 minutes) then pass it on to EVERYONE YOU CAN THINK OF.

     Today, as you may know, my youngest started kindergarten.  All went well, she walked into her idyllic school full of smiles, and I for the most part, kept it together, somewhat.  I mean, after all, she is my baby, my last child, and as she walked into the school I said a little prayer, "Please keep her safe."  I am sure I am not alone.  I sit here writing, and I can't believe, how quiet, and odd it is for me to be the only one in this house.  This week was crazy busy; full of getting the last minute things for school, starting school, school activities, playdates, over tired fits, and many, many other things.  I, along with many other parents, had their hands full, and their minds going 100 different ways, that I was kind of oblivious to the rest of the world.  This includes the occurrence near Atlanta.

     I call it an "occurrence", because we have that luxury.  We were granted that luxury due to the calmness and the grace of Ms. Antoinette Tuff.  In all likelihood, that occurrence will disappear from the headlines, the 24 hour multimedia news, and our minds.  Maybe even as soon as this piece is posted.   Life goes on.  As it should.  But we have a HUGE opportunity to learn from it. 

      If you would like to hear the call, and other related material from CNN, click here, but chances are you may have heard the call, or are at least more aware of the happenings of that day than I initially was.

     In a nutshell, what she did made the difference between an occurrence and a tragedy.

She took a moment.  She remembered that the man with the AK-47 was a person.  Then she talked, and listened.  When he stated that it didn't matter, she replied "Of course it matters!"  She went on to talk with him, shared her own trying times, and let him know that she had contemplated suicide, but she didn't and now time had passed, and she was okay; and he would be too.  She made him see, what he came in to do that day, with an AK-47 and a lot of ammunition, was not his only option.  She cared enough and took a moment to make him take a moment.  Also, THANK YOU to Mr. Hill.  Yes, You matter to me as well.  It took a lot I know to acknowledge what Ms. Tuff was saying, and to give yourself up.  You showed the world amazing courage to go on.  Hopefully you get the the help you need and will be able to see past your pain and troubles at some point. You will never be thanked enough.

     What would happened if we all followed suit, to the best of our ability?

If we took a moment.  To stop, and think.  Before reacting?  When someone says something rude; a driver cuts us off, or does some heaven knows what maneuver? To not go for the jugular, when in a disagreement.  To not think in ultimatums.

 To remember, every single person begins and ends the same way.
 
To take a moment, and remember, and remind, that everyone matters.  To let your kids, your parents, your spouses, your ex spouses, your friends, know without one iota of a doubt; they matter.
   
I think everyone would agree with the statement that the world is a crazy place.  Everyone gets down sometimes, some people more than others.  Not sure if mental illness is more prevalent today, or just more recognized than it was 30 or so years ago.  There seems to be a thinner line today between normal and crazy.  This is not a judgement call, just an observation.  Believe me, I have enough of a history of mental illness in my family to know that it's closer and more common than we think.  I learned not too long ago that the very funny, talented, and I'm sure affluent, Stephen Fry admits to a time of wanting to "self slaughter."  EVERYONE has problems.

As Ms. Tuff said, "bullets don't have a name."  And they only take a moment.  And they create the final ultimatum.

Mom used to say, "Everything is temporary.  The bad as well as the good."  So hang on.  You Matter.

If you have seen The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, you are familiar with the optimism Dev Patel's character conveys with the line, "They say everything will be alright in the end; so if it's not all right, it's not the end."  If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. 

In the last few lines of David Baldacci's Absolute Power, he shares a character's thoughts:" what a wonderful and precious commodity life was" and "how that precious commodity could be brutally ripped away."  He concludes the novel with, "But that was the great thing about being alive, he thought.  Today might not be so good.  But tomorrow, you got another chance to get it right."

What if we all took a moment?  To find grace.  Patience.  Compassion.  I believe that would matter.

Have You Seen This Woman?

The above photo is of the amazing Susan B. Anthony.  It is one of the few that I found that was not a profile shot.

This post will be short, but the message concise:  GET OUT AND VOTE TODAY!

Consider all the facts, and make your much fought for voice count.

In a recent exchange of messages on Huffington Post concerning the subject of pro-choice and pro-life (two titles I abhor), a contributor, Cosmo 2010 stated:

       "It's really not pro-choice or pro-life, it's pro-civil rights or anti-civil rights.  Women want and deserve civil rights as much as anyone.  And they are entitled to them. Civil rights should never be up for votes or legislation.  Civil rights simply exist, because they are human rights."


     Nobody likes abortion.  But I think the need to keep the option safe and available should be self evident.  I would like to make sure everyone has it as a safe and legal option first.  Then I will do all I can to get rid of the need.  Still, I know that even after those efforts there will be cases that it will still be needed.  Life is precious.  But it's time to realize the reality that we grow up with is not the same in another town, or even next door.  Here at home, I will do all I can to make sure there is never a need for it.  Which includes education for how the body works, the fact that every choice comes with consequence, and being very involved in my daughters' lives.  If, after that, something happens there is no way in Hell I would want one of my daughters to endure what Jessica Davis had to.  If you don't know what I am talking about, click this link: http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/abortion-restrictions-in-oklahoma

      It is time to make the words on our stamps, more than words.

     As my endeavor to find things to be thankful about during November, I am THANKFUL to live in a country that votes.  I am beyond thankful for the many women who, fought diligently and sacrificed much to make that privilege possible for me, a woman.  I know it's not the reality for much of the world over.
    Since, I enjoy this right, privilege, and responsibility, thanks to the many women that came before, I hope you will tolerate my closing resting on the laurels of another blog's post.
    Dreams Underfoot, is a blog by a woman in Kentucky, named Susan.  Hope you find her blog as endearing and enjoyable as I did.   On August 19, 2011she posted a timely and important tribute to these women.
     Please visit and read, "to be anything or nothing".  I could not have said it better myself.

Please exercise your hard fought right and privilege to vote.  

Many will be thankful.


      

Sadie's Gathering: Take A Moment... Then Pass it On!

Sadie's Gathering: Take A Moment... Then Pass it On!: This was started Friday, August 23rd, and as suspected there is not much in the news today about what happened in Atlanta, just a wee...

Ending the "Gay" Charade, by Jessica Mayer Herthel

     As promised today's post is a very timely and important post, "Ending the 'Gay' Charade".  I first came across this on Allison Tate's blog.  Allison asked her college friend, Jessica, to write the piece due to the timely manner in needing to explain some facts of life to her three sons.  I feel as a parent, this is something that we all need to do, for the reasons that I wrote in "Let's Talk About Sex".  When I finished that post, I knew that I didn't even scratch the surface on all I wished to express.  A few days after I posted it I read an article by Allison on Huffington Post that I liked.  Then after spending some time on her blog, came across "Ending the 'Gay' Charade".  I agreed with its message as well as found the idea of keeping it simple, to be common sense. 
Hope you enjoy it.  I think it's brilliant.

Jessica's daughters drew this in honor of this post. 

Ending the “Gay” Charade
By Jessica Mayer Herthel


“Mommy, what does ‘gay’ mean?”

“Um… uh… it means happy!  Happy and gay!  Now what should we have for breakfast?”

This message was brought to you by the Association for Nervous Parents, and sponsored by the Foundation of What Not to Do.

Parents, listen up.  This is not rocket science.  But it might hurt, just a little.

As an advocate for the safety of LGBTQ youth in schools, and a mother of three girls aged seven and under, I am often asked HOW a parent is supposed to explain “gay” to children, and more importantly WHY would they?  People sometimes give me the side-eye, as if I am up to no good, when I explain that my own kids have known about gay couples since they were toddlers.

Well stay with me here—but the truth is, the answers to both of these questions are remarkably easy.

Q: HOW do you explain gay to kids? 
A: Simply!

Q: WHY do you explain gay to kids?
A: Because you have to!

Little kids don’t know about sex.  NOR SHOULD THEY.  What they DO know about is families.  And the idea of marriage.  Because they have likely observed at least one of these concepts in their own homes, or in the social landscape at large.

So when my best male friend R was coming to meet my girls for the first time, and he was bringing along his partner of 10 years, M, I made this NOT-AT-ALL-SCARY declaration: “Girls, this is R, and this is M.  They are married just like Mommy and Daddy, and they love each other just like Mommy and Daddy.” 

Did my girls’ heads pop off?  No.  Did their eyes bug out?  No.  Did they immediately erupt into detailed questions about R and M’s personal life, and morality-laden inquiries about non-reproductive sexual conduct?  HELL NO.

Did they ask if R and M brought them presents?  Um, yes.

And that’s about it.  I think you could do this!

Put aside, for a moment, the fact that R and M are not actually married (thanks, Proposition 8).  Kids don’t ask to see marriage licenses.  Kids understand the world within their established framework, and kids understand marriage.  Marriage is a heuristic—a mental shortcut—for a greater concept.  (Take note, lawmakers pushing civil unions.)  Kids can understand that you MARRY WHO YOU LOVE.  We say this all the time in my house.  Trust me: it works.

But what if my child is older?, you ask.  What if he already knows about the birds and the bees?  How do I explain birds with birds, or bees with bees??  Help!

Again, and here I’m quoting a cranky old guy I know: “Keep it simple, stupid!”  You can say, “Obviously, two boys or two girls can’t do exactly the same things in their bedrooms as a boy and a girl do.  But you know what?  A lot of what they do is exactly the same.”  And if your kid wants to know more, and is old enough to know more, then he probably also knows about this poorly-kept secret: THE INTERNET. You’re welcome!  Direct him to an information-oriented site such as http://www.cdc.gov/lgbthealth/youth-resources.htm to get him started, and then promise you won’t go snooping through his browser history from there.

And please don’t tell me that your religion would not approve.  Because this is not about you.  This is about living in the 21st century.  Gay is everywhere, whether you like it or not.  It’s on your tv, it’s in the President’s inaugural address, and soon it’s going to be in your schools, because gay kids end up dead when it isn’t.  You can choose not to have a gay relationship, you can disapprove of gay marriage, you can believe that gay people don’t get into heaven.  What you can NOT do, however, is tell children that gay people don’t exist.  Because willful ignorance leads to hateful ignorance.  Only one Matthew Shepard needs to die, alone and tied to a fence post, to teach us that painful fact.

There is one last reason why you need to explain gay to your kids: YOUR kid might grow up to be gay.  Go ahead: gasp, wring your hands, put your conversion therapist’s number on speed dial.  Won’t change a damn thing.  Now odds are, your child WON’T be gay: the statistical likelihood hovers at around 10%.  But will he or she have a gay friend, a gay teacher, a gay teammate, or a gay coworker one day?  You betcha.  The closet door is wide open.  LGBTQ people are taking their rightful place as American citizens in one big old gay parade. 

So the choice is yours: Do you embrace this new reality, and give your kids a straightforward, age-appropriate explanation of two people who share the same loving feelings for each other as do you and YOUR spouse?  Or do you do the dance, and change the subject, and hope like heck that all the gay people turn straight before your kid raises the dreaded subject again?

Look around you.  The world is full of difficult conversations we must have with our children.  This is not one of them.  It’s easy.  It’s love.  And it’s time.

*Jessica Mayer Herthel is the mother of 3 daughters and currently works as a consultant with the Broward County, Florida, school district.  In that role, Jessica has developed LGBTQ-inclusive curriculum, approved LGBTQ-friendly books for school libraries, and drafted a handbook of best practices for principals and administrators regarding LGBTQ youth concerns.

PLEASE VISIT HRC.ORG, TO LEARN MORE AND TO FIND OUT HOW TO HELP.

Just A Drop...

      Tomorrow I will post a guest post that I have been working on and planning for a couple of weeks.  With it, I hope to help spread the compassion, understanding, and simplicity that I believe were some of the author's goals, when she first wrote it.  
       While I rarely write of my political or religious views here at Sadie's, civil rights is an issue that I believe goes beyond.  I believe they are a birthright; essential to humanity, and one thing I wish was ubiquitous.
     I once heard a metaphor that compared long struggles with a drop of water; yet over time, because of that drop of water's tenacity, it (along with a few other forces) perseveres into something extraordinary as the Grand Canyon.  Regardless of religious or political views, it is awe inspiring to say the least.
     Recently, I finished reading John Steinbeck's, Travels With Charley.  As many times as I have read it, I am always stunned at after completing, how much it still sets my wheels a turning.  Towards the end Mr. Steinbeck recounts about being present during the desegregation of what I think was the William Franz Elementary School, and witnessing Ruby Bridges as she bravely entered the school amidst "Cheerleaders" and riot like conditions.  Deeply disturbed by what he saw, he then tells about individuals that he encountered afterwards.  Quite a spectrum of thought is what he found.  Among them, an elderly white man who explains how difficult it is to change a person's feeling about something.  It's been over 50 years since that book was written, but that still rings just as true today as it did then.
      There are many things that I don't get, but leading them is the reasoning and rationality that people come up with while hindering and even hurting, other people. 
      I hope everyone finds the post to be as helpful as I did as well as a good reminder to keep it simple sweetheart.  After all, love is love. 
    

The Prude Is Back...

In honor of Mother's Day I am posting a few posts that "come from Mom".  Sadie's Gathering is not a Mom's Blog.  However, I am a mom, and as I had a great mom, as well as wonderful grandmothers, I would like to write these posts in honor of the timeless common sense that moms often try to instill.

Therefore, The Prude is Back...

Mom used to remind me with a knowing smile, "You did not invent sin."

She would repeat this phrase, every time I stayed out past curfew;

or snuck out after bedtime- (I usually got busted sneaking back in);

or just anytime I got caught doing something that was less than the up and up.

     Or if she walked into a room just after a friend and I had concluded our plot for weekend, seeing us  clam up and eyeing each other with a "caught" smirk.

Yea, we didn't invent sin; but I think we cranked it up a notch from time to time.

     One area, where it was quite evident that I was not the pioneer; was swearing.  From an early age, I was privy to every GD scatological term my former Marine father, and college educated mother could muster.  Until, that is,  I,  brought home the goods.  I was the one who broke the unsaid (therefore unknown) rule: "Thou shalt not use the F Word".

     This is one of those times I know I cranked up that notch.  While I don't remember the first time I said it around my parents, (which incidentally pretty much coincides with the last time I used it around my parents); I DO remember their reaction.  "THAT WORD IS NOT TO BE USED!"  "HOW COULD YOU?!" I remember Mom stressing that not even Dad used that word.  I also remember setting out to rationalize my using it, in order to accomplish preventing me from getting into any major trouble with my folks, as well as paving the way to ensure that I could use it in the future.  My line of reasoning went like this:

     The F word wasn't that bad; after all it meant an "entirely natural act between two consenting individuals for the purpose of giving and receiving pleasure and the ultimate- creating life." 

Side note: I brought the F word to the game not long after I had received "The Talk." 

     I explained that that was a lot more pleasant than some dirty, disgusting, poop term or taking our Lord's name in vain.  I went on to demonstrate, that to say the F word felt a lot more cathartic than any of the other offenders.  Use GD!-and if you're a Christian, you naturally feel guilty when you say it.  I reasoned if one chose to use the popular poop term when very angry, they were likely to end up spitting on oneself; an involuntary effect that really would defeat the purpose for saying the word in the first place.  So, quite clearly the F word, I reasoned was the epitome of swear words, if not the entire English language.

Bet you're sensing another reason I was an only child.

Sadly, despite my furtive argument, my parents failed to be swayed.

Their argument was this:

      Despite my reasoning and well thought out argument, the F word was just too foul to be uttered.  They noted this opinion was universally felt.  If I did not heed their advice, I was to certain to fall from grace, among my peers, as well as from all society, domestic and global.  I was assured that if I used the word, I would attain notoriety, just the type one generally does not seek.  On a slightly less dramatic note, yet more persuasive to me, Mom concluded that if I used the word like salt, it would to little more than leave a bad "taste" with everyone.  Better to save it and use it like that rare spice that really surprises and packs a punch.

     So, I conceded, realizing the wisdom, of keeping my language mild around the ones who paid my bills.
    
Still, I went through the years "spicing" things up probably more often than naught.

Here are some of my favs:

Gimme a f---in' break  -still muttered regularly at any and all inanimate objects.

The Grand Slam- G-- D--- Mother F----- Son of a Bitch
And my all time fav- that I think is even kinda cute-

                                                                   "F*#% A Duck!

I like it so much I often say "Muck a Duck,"- so I can get the idea across in a multitude of settings.

     You are probably wondering what this little stroll down memory lane has to do with my being a prude.  Easy, I have become my mother.

     As you know, I have stated there won't be much, if any swearing on Sadie's Gathering.
You know that I do enough of it in certain company, and now you even know my favs.  I have also explained that because I often have kids reading over my shoulder as I write, I decided to leave it out.
However, I doubt that anyone's starvin' for their daily dose of the F Word; because it has become ubiquitous!
     Whether I am reading a blog, watching a movie, or walking down a street, any street, or dining at a restaurant; it's "well I know it's f'd up, but I don't know wtf, like how the f it got the f there. And WTF, if they f'in want to f' know what I f'in think..."  
                                                                 What I think?
     People need to go back to school and take English, Brit & American Lit, and linguistics, and expand their vocabulary.  The use of the F Word has become ubiquitous, superfluous and
vexatious.  

     Even if it is the epitome of the English language; there is still something to be said for decorum.

 How's that for a Mom statement?

Why I Was An Only Child...

An homage to my friends and family...

Right now I am scrambling to get the crazy May holidays up and then I realize it is Brothers and Sisters Day.

I planned for this to be a longer post, but as you all know "life" comes up.

I was an only child.  So, by definition I had no siblings and was spoiled rotten.

True to definition, I have been spoiled rotten.

I have family; aunts, uncles and cousins, that were more like extra moms and dads and siblings.
To the point that the grown ups needed to separate us at holiday dinners so we wouldn't giggle the whole meal through.  One cousin is very close to me in age, and when we were young we had frequent sleepovers.  I still smile as I remember Mom storming into my room yet again, "GIRLS GO TO SLEEP NOW!!!  Too bad Mom didn't live to read Adam Mansbach's book, about going to sleep.  I know she would've gotten a kick out of it.  Then there is my cousin who had the happy job of always taking us trick or treating; of course she would not have wanted to be anywhere else.  There's too many fun and funny memories to share.  I love them all.

Someone once said, "Friends are the family you choose."

So, I hope it suffices for me to say "thank you," to all of my friends who have "stepped up to the plate" and been there over the years.  I know that I am blessed to have several people I can call at that "ungodly hour".

During my mom's last year, I spent more than half of that year in WV.   I stayed at the house where I grew up, with only the company of my newborn daughter,  my crazy dad, and my mom, whenever she was home from the hospital.  Later I would learn that my dad was under the demise of dementia.  My husband was over 2000 miles away in CA.   If it wasn't for the regular calls from my 'sisters", (my group of friends that I've known for 20-30 years each, who are scattered throughout the nation) - I'm not sure how I would have coped.  Even now, when I look back it seemed they were on a schedule to check on me.  It wouldn't surprise me either way.

For the one who I talk to as often as we can, who dares me to live, and has gotten me into trouble more than once I might add- although that was years ago-  Love ya.

I have always considered myself an only child in name only.

Happy Brothers and Sisters Day.  I hope your blessings are as plenty.

S.

When You Reach For A Star

This post has been in the works for quite a while, even before I started Sadie's Gathering.

     A few weeks back I decided to write what I hoped would be a positive, uplifting, post about the benefit of belief throughout life.  Since it was the season of Easter, Passover, Ostara, and many other holidays of belief and faith, I thought it would be a good time to post such a piece.
    After starting to write I changed the title to "The Case for Belief & Faith".  Then after thinking about it some more, I changed the title to, "The case for Belief, Faith, & Hope".

     A definition of belief, according to Webster's Dictionary is:  "1: a state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing. Conviction of the truth of some statement or the reality of some being or phenomenon."  Faith is, "firm belief in something for which there is no proof."  The definition of hope: "to desire with a belief of fulfillment".

    As I have stated before, I am a Christian, and have been as long as I can remember.  It is the way I was raised and it is this belief and faith that sees me through.  I remember discussing belief in God with Mom years ago.  I remember her saying, "it doesn't matter if I am wrong, cause if I am, I'll be dead, and won't care either way.  My belief and faith, I know has done me a lot of good throughout my life."

     My life has led me down  many different roads.  I consider myself fortunate to have friends from different backgrounds with faiths that range from the devout to the atheist.  I am also fortunate to have a secure and confident constitution that I have no need or inclination to attempt to "change" anyone.  My convictions are strong; yet so is my love and respect of my friends.  My friends extend to me the same graciousness.
   As such, it was my aim for this post on belief and faith, not to be a religious one.  Spiritual?  Well maybe.  I think it goes deeper though, and that is what I planned to write about.
      However, as I mentioned in an earlier post, a photo on Huffington Post shook me to my core and put this post on hold. I write not only for you, but for me, and at this point it is more likely for me since it is in the first stages of Sadie's, thus making my writing cathartic for mainly me.
      Thankfully, there's a lot to be said for Chicago, a couple of old friends, and the musicality of Phineas & Ferb for helping things seem alright again.  However, that's another post for another day.
      Where does that leave us?
      With yet, a new title for one thing.
     On April 14, the lesser known holiday was, Reach as High as You Can Day.  It brought to mind one of my all time favorite quotes by advertising legend Leo Burnett.  "When you reach for a star, you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a hand full of mud either."  Just a little back story on Mr. Burnett- he created memorable characters such as the Pillsbury Doughboy, Snap, Crackle and Pop, and The Jolly Green Giant.  He built one of the most successful advertising agencies in the world.  He did this amidst  World War II and the Great Depression.  One doesn't accomplish that without a healthy dose of gumption and chutzpah.  Optimism doesn't hurt either.
     Today, there is religious rhetoric all around.  We hear it, and read it, and see it.  How often do we feel it though?  Many people have died through the ages for their beliefs.  There are incredibly clever people who will readily tell us what to believe and what not to believe.  We now live in a cyber age where information is obtained at a moment's notice.  We fill our lives with the latest technological gadgets, so we can watch movies, read books,  check the news on a screen that can be one inch or  6 ft.  Didn't get enough sleep?  Grab a little bottle that's less than 2oz. and it'll see you through.  We've achieved so much, so why does it seem that with every friend I talk with, there's sighs like never before?  Before explaining what's new?
     As I write this, "what's new?", is yet another tragedy.  I know today, tomorrow and the next day will bring more.  They may or may not make the news.
     I offer no easy fixes and no quick answers or wisdom.  There's enough reality in my life that I don't watch most reality shows, sad movies, or read "touching" or "deeply moving" novels.
 
 Even so, through life so far, I have managed to learn a few things.
 
     Childhood is the time to create, foster, and inspire magic and wonder; before the world offers up the limits and the doubts.  Do all you can.  It'll do your heart good as well.  I think this is why experts suggest teaching kids a foreign language early.

     Hold on tight to the relationships that matter.  How do you know which ones those are?  They're the ones that work; the ones that last.  Even if it's been awhile, you know who you can call and you'll hear a smile on the other end.
   
     Also, these relationships help with this truth: "Don't ever lose your sense of humor."  And laugh whenever and as often as you can.
 
     Finally, I remember these words from Mom, "Everything is temporary.  So, cherish the good, and remember the bad won't last."  Yep, sometimes it does get worse.  That will change as well though, so just like death and taxes, change is something we can count on.
  
     What better reason to aim high?  I have heard atheists say that life is not a dress rehearsal.  Giving reason to doing all one can while alive for they're a long time dead.  On the other end of the spectrum. there are those that do what they do for their afterlife.  Since I am a Christian, and thus believe that life goes on after we die, I view life as the country that I am currently visiting.  I want to see every tourist trap I can, as well as venture to where all the locals hang out. 
  
     A few days ago I read about Linden Wolbert, a professional mermaid.  In 2005 she quit her 9 to 5 job and donned a tail and became a "full time" mermaid, working Hollywood parties, and promoting ocean awareness.  How cool is that?  What's more, 2005 was I believe when everyone realized that the economic crisis wasn't going to be just a passing phase.  I bet there's a whole lot more crazy, creative ideas out there waiting.
 
     I for one, would not be writing a blog, if I was working my former 60+hr/week job as a restaurant manager.
   
     So, give me the galaxy and in the words of J.M. Barrie, let me go to "the second on the right, and then straight on till morning."  I may be naive, but the alternative seems no fun at all.  A word of caution: When you reach for a star, do watch out for the assteroids.
   
     Even so, I think with belief, faith and hope you can create possibility, and often that can be the beginning of something wonderful.
 
    

Another Day in Paradise

Another Day in Paradise  1/16/2013


      Still working on learning about what I need to know to reach my ideal site.  In the mean time, thinking about all I want to share.

     As mentioned a couple of days ago, I intend to have a "Words of Wisdom" list posted on the fridge.  Till then I will be working on putting the list here somewhere.

     I think I am progressing little by little, because today Sadie's Gathering came up as one of my options when I went to go to a new tab.  So, YEA!!! for that.

     I have two young daughters, that I'll call, Lizzie (8) and Lulu(5).  With both of them, I am constantly reminding them as they try new things, to be patient as they learn, give it time, and appreciate every step.  So, why is it so hard to apply those words to our own lives, once we reach that magical time in our life, adulthood?

     On that note, how often do we regard adulthood as magical?  A time when we do a lot of amazing things.   Whether it's through travel, falling in love, witnessing the creation of life, amazing jobs, or if it's just the time of doing what you want and letting the chips fall where they may.  It's all pretty cool.

     Yet, when it comes to something new, we seldom jump with the full abandon of our youth.
We contemplate, the contemplating to try and assess the chance of success before even starting.
After all, there are only 24 hours in a day, and they go pretty fast.  We have responsibilities.

We have obligations.  Can we just relax for a moment?  We're tired. 

     Maybe I am just weird.  I prefer eccentric and quirky by the way.   However, I have a sneaky suspicion, that I am not alone.

     So, for the time, let's just be glad the Mayans were wrong, and take a step towards starting,  whatever it is.  No jumping required.

Bon Chance Sur Votre Voyage!