Why I Was An Only Child...

An homage to my friends and family...

Right now I am scrambling to get the crazy May holidays up and then I realize it is Brothers and Sisters Day.

I planned for this to be a longer post, but as you all know "life" comes up.

I was an only child.  So, by definition I had no siblings and was spoiled rotten.

True to definition, I have been spoiled rotten.

I have family; aunts, uncles and cousins, that were more like extra moms and dads and siblings.
To the point that the grown ups needed to separate us at holiday dinners so we wouldn't giggle the whole meal through.  One cousin is very close to me in age, and when we were young we had frequent sleepovers.  I still smile as I remember Mom storming into my room yet again, "GIRLS GO TO SLEEP NOW!!!  Too bad Mom didn't live to read Adam Mansbach's book, about going to sleep.  I know she would've gotten a kick out of it.  Then there is my cousin who had the happy job of always taking us trick or treating; of course she would not have wanted to be anywhere else.  There's too many fun and funny memories to share.  I love them all.

Someone once said, "Friends are the family you choose."

So, I hope it suffices for me to say "thank you," to all of my friends who have "stepped up to the plate" and been there over the years.  I know that I am blessed to have several people I can call at that "ungodly hour".

During my mom's last year, I spent more than half of that year in WV.   I stayed at the house where I grew up, with only the company of my newborn daughter,  my crazy dad, and my mom, whenever she was home from the hospital.  Later I would learn that my dad was under the demise of dementia.  My husband was over 2000 miles away in CA.   If it wasn't for the regular calls from my 'sisters", (my group of friends that I've known for 20-30 years each, who are scattered throughout the nation) - I'm not sure how I would have coped.  Even now, when I look back it seemed they were on a schedule to check on me.  It wouldn't surprise me either way.

For the one who I talk to as often as we can, who dares me to live, and has gotten me into trouble more than once I might add- although that was years ago-  Love ya.

I have always considered myself an only child in name only.

Happy Brothers and Sisters Day.  I hope your blessings are as plenty.

S.

Attention Yale & Harvard Law- Do You Ever Consider 5 Year Olds?

     I have been meaning to post earlier this week, but as you know life happens.  The youngest member of our family is Perry Mason in the making and by day's end I just want to say "Throw the book at me."
     I never wanted a lawyer in the family.  No offense to my friends, that are.  It's a noble profession, and today there are lots of avenues that one can pursue if they are intelligent, tenacious and savvy enough to obtain a law degree.
     But I grew up with a mom and dad who although they loved each other, were like oil and water.  Arguing and debating each and every little thing.  I was an only child and by the time I turned 10, I was exhausted from just being around it.  I used to say "Look! The sky is a lovely shade of blue today.  Can the two of you at least agree on that?!"  Drove me crazy.  In my teen years I even begged them to get divorced.  I was told "just because we don't agree on every little thing, doesn't mean we need to get a divorce."  Don't agree on every little thing?  More like any little thing.  Years went by, and I lightened up.  At my wedding, I remember looking at my parents, thinking I was glad they were still together.  They were together for better or worse, and all the craziness that falls between.  They are both gone now.  After looking through all the cards and letters they gave one another through the years I know there was a lot of love there.  I miss them both, so much.
     Still, I was looking for a little less drama for my life.  I found that with my husband, and I knew it when we met.  It was just easy, fun, and he "got" me.  First time I brought him home, one Christmas, my mom asked my cousin what she thought of him.  She laughingly replied, "He's just like Sus, but in male form."  No, we don't agree on some things, but we both respect each other's intelligence to know that our opinions are what make us us and heck, we're not gonna change.
      We have been blessed with two wonderful daughters.  The eldest, is 8 and is sensitive, emotional, and rational; well, as rational as 8 year olds go.
      Our 5 year old, is another story.  I knew it from the start.  When she was born, and got upset, because she was wet or hungry; she would scream, cry and turn bright red-orange all over, head to toe.  Scared the hell out of me!  I thought she was gonna burst into flames; you know, like Jack-Jack in The Incredibles.
     When she got a little older and was getting into stuff,  after a few "no's" I swatted her bottom.  She stopped, proceeded to rub where I had swatted, looked at her sister with a questioning look, then looked up at me and laughed.  Oh no! 
      Next came the placating and the plotting.  Asking for a treat one hour before dinner- I reply, "after dinner"; she says sweetly "Okay Mommy."  I return to the kitchen a few minutes later, a few minutes too late to find she had managed to push over a bar stool, climb up and stand on the counter to obtain her prize, and is already in the process of trying to destroy the evidence.  To my credit, that only happened once.
      Nowadays though, she doesn't hide her efforts, she just wheels and deals, and negotiates.  "I won't do this, unless you give me that."  "Do you want a spanking?"  Her question, not mine.  Last night she asked me, after I had said no to something, (I don't ever remember) "Do you want me to throw another fit?"  This was my reply: "Is this a trick question?- Listen toots, I make the rules, you follow.  If you don't want to follow the rules, then there'll be consequences- such as no Spongebob for a few days."  Her reply? "Mommy, do you remember when I cracked the egg on the fridge and it ran down and made a mess?"  I didn't, so I said "No babe, I don't."  "I know, cause you weren't here."  How's that for misdirection? 
     Yes, I admire her tenacity.  Her creativity.  All the drama though, aie aie aie.  Once again, I am exhausted.  And I'm a lot older than 10 now.
      Somewhere my mom and dad are having a great laugh.  Not to mention, very proud, as am I.

  

We're Off To See the Wizard...

Heading for the Yellow Brick Road, so there's lot's to chat about today.

     Tomorrow, my 2 young daughters, my husband and I are planning to see the highly anticipated, "Oz: The Great and Powerful".   I almost feel that I should have written this piece for Multiple Personality Day; I  have so many converging thoughts about seeing the latest Disney production.

     Instead, this post coincides with International (Working) Women's Day, and Be Nasty Day.  Curious don't you think, given that this movie's intrigue is thanks largely to its witches?  Did some marketing person plan this?

      I am a huge fan of witches.  A lot has is due to Margaret Hamilton's portrayal of The Wicked Witch of the West for the 1939 Warner Brothers' "The Wizard of Oz".  I remember this movie being broadcast every Easter interestingly enough.  The big draw for me was the witch.  She scared the hell out of me.  I had nightmares.  Still didn't stop the intrigue though.  I insisted on watching it every year despite the impending nightmares and my fear of the green faced, cackling, crone.  I would huddle
down behind my mom's chair and beg her to let me know when it was "safe" to come out.   A couple of years later my mom pointed out "Cora" in Maxwell House commercials.  Whoa! That just added to the mystique of witches in my young mind.  From then on, I still insisted on watching every year, but was more empathetic toward the witch.  Did they really have to melt her?  Always "knew" there was a lot of untold backstory lurking.

     As time went on I read a lot about witches; their history, Salem Witches, the Pendle Witches,
and Wicca.  I have a gathering of Pendle, Italian and kitchen witch dolls that adorn my kitchen and dining room.

     So, when word got out that a new Oz was coming out complete with witches, I was hooked.  Not only about the current film, but nostalgia kicked in as I looked up about the 1939 film, and read about the original L. Frank Baum's story.

      I was born in the late 60's.  The first TV I remember was black and white.  When color TV came out, the black and white TV was retired to my parents' room for a bit, only to be chucked completely soon after, for an aptly sized color TV.   I know it's hard to imagine, how much impact this had on a child.   Especially since today, babies listen to classical music while in womb, and once they're out,  they are immersed in Baby Einstein and other baby geared media.  Imagine if you will, a child watching Technicolor TV after watching black and white.  Remember this is in the time before 24/7 line ups.  Children also had to share TV's with the grown ups.  During big news events such as the Watergate Trials, cartoons were cut.  At least that's what I was told.  The point is, for kids, you had classics like Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, and The Electric Company; but only if you lived in "the city" and were able to get a PBS station.  There was the ABC Afterschool Specials; but they were a little deep sometimes for a 5-8 yr. old.  Saturday mornings were what you lived for; along with Christmas specials such as Rudolph and Frosty the Snowman; and then there was 'The Wizard of Oz'.  My daughters cannot comprehend that TV progamming simply went off after a certain time, displaying only colored bars.  I recently told them that my family had a party line when I was young.  I had a pickle of a time explaining why parties that shared the party line were not full of joy and celebration.  Even though I was totally engrossed in the film, when I got old enough to read, The Oz series didn't interest me.  Especially when I found out that the Wicked Witch of the West, wasn't that major of a character throughout the series.  She didn't have ruby slippers, they were silver.  She didn't even have green skin!

      Back to "Oz The Great and Powerful". 

      Since the movie is rated PG-13, I have been doing a bit of research to ensure that my daughters will not leave the theater forever irrevocably traumatized.  Much of the movie's marketing is labeling it as a treasure for the whole family; while critics warn that the witches along with their flying baboons are very scary.  So, I consider what my daughters have seen, and what they watch every day.  Yes, I am one of those horrid moms who lets her kids watch entirely too much TV.  They're also very active and have fuller social calendars, than I did at 25, so I figure they'll live.   I have heard a rumor that the Wicked Witch is green because she has been scorned in love, which I have to roll my eyes at.  If this rumor is true, I am curious to see if I am going to feel sympathetic toward her.  Will I be thinking "Sweetie, he ain't all that- he's not worth you getting your hat all pointy and your skin green!"?  After all if a woman gets wicked it must be because of a man.  Shameful.  Now that's something scary that I will definitely have to chat with my daughters about, if it proves to be true.

     That being said, I have been chatting with my girls about the scary parts, asking if they think they'll be too much to watch.  "No, no, no... we REALLY REALLY wanna see it!"

      So as the song goes "We're off to see the Wizard..."

      I will report back, before the weekend's out with a little peek behind the curtain, and let you know if I think it's worth the trip from Kansas, or wherever you call home.