My Take on Marriage

Just a little updates... since I wrote this in August of 2013...💕Gratitude to Jimmy Buffett...

     What do I think of marriage?  It's great.  That is my opinion today.  What I think most days, is it's a lot of work.  My husband will say the same.  Thankfully, it's work we both enjoy.  We had both been around enough to know that going in. It's compromises, concessions, and work to share your life with someone. It's a choice, and a privilege that not everyone gets to enjoy.  I think it takes 2, maybe more, to make it work- only 1 to make it not work.  I won't say fail, because I think if people look back on a marriage that didn't last till "death do us part",  there are still a lot of good and fun memories, and maybe even kids- so, in my opinion that's hardly failing.  

That's a choice as well, that yields its own compromises, concessions and rewards.

     I like my husband as well as love him.  

We have a lot of similarities, and quite a bit 

of differences.  The big one, politics.  For those

that James Carville's and Mary Matalin's marriage befuddles them- I can say that it does cause some debates, but we know we're never gonna change each other, (nor do we wish to) and for the most part get why the other votes the way they do and enjoy the enlightening each of us bring.  We've been together for nearly 16 years, and I can honestly say, he still makes me smile and usually laugh almost every day.  Most the time it's even intentional.

Aren't We Lucky!

Posted originally 2/3/14

     Every once in a while I consider how lucky we are.  When it's clear at night, I look out up at the  sky, consider the vastness of it, and think as far as we know, we are the only ones that get to experience this.

Life.  Concious life.  All the joy, all the pain.  Both are a part of it.

PLEASE CLICK ON THE TITLE TO READ THE ENTIRE POST.

What I've Learned!

     In honor of my oldest daughter, turning 21 today! 

     I'd like to share what I've learned thus far from being a parent!  Originally posted this on 9/11/2015, when my darlin was 11.

     Now, as I've told relatively new parents; you're kids are kids for about 10 years... then... when their bodies begin to change in many different ways... they'll remind you of your teen years... and they will be more like roomies(roommates), than your children.

     When I was a teen, my mom told me, my hormones would even out, in around my mid 20's; and I would not view anything as dramatically terrible, as I did when I was a teen.  

     I remember rolling my eyes to her, whenever she mentioned that point ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

     Then, I moved to Chicago, in '91, after I graduated from WVU.

      I worked at a Futon Store, for a couple of years and made a couple of friends there.  

     Also, when I sold a futon to a woman, who'd just graduated and moved from Boston; and she lived around the corner from my studio apartment; we became friends!  We were roommates for a few years.  

     Then once, while in our first apartment; I'd gone out with a nice young man, named Pete; he took me out to dinner and we had a fun evening!  When he dropped me off, we kissed for the first time; and he said he'd call me, and we'd go out again!  I thought then we'd be dating for a good bit. 

     Then a couple of weeks later, my roomie asked if I was going to go out again with that hot guy; and she asked, 'What is his name?'

     So, this is what I replied: "Pete, is the name of that guy I went out with.  He said he'd call me, and we'd go out again.  Yet... since it's been 2 or 3 weeks... I guess he either lost it, or tossed my phone...so, no more time with Pete..."

     "Oh my God!  So sorry... "

     And I said, "Who gives a sh*t... there's so many other hot guys in Chicago!"  Then we laughed! 

     Then I called my mom; told her about it; told her "YOU"RE RIGHT!!! I DON'T GIVE A SH*T" and Mom laughed!  

     Then I apologized for all the fits I through as a teen; and she told me, 'Babe, you were easy...' and I replied, "May be because I was an only child," ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

     If you're a parent, I'm sure I have nothing on you.😉   

Hello... Is Anybody Out There?

Not a big Pink Floyd fan, just a quick vent about my frustrations of trying to reach a human being.

Facebook, Google, Linkedin, and so many others.

As a habit, when someone calls, I try to return their call asap.  Same goes for email.  Wish others would follow suit.

     I was in the middle of cleaning my daughters room, which is a bit like working on the wake of a storm, when the phone rings.  When I answered it was a telemarketer, made to sound like a real human, trying to sell something.  "If you are interested press '1', if you wished to be removed from the call list, Press '2'."   I had received this offer many times before, and had remained on the phone long enough to hear the options, then followed their direction by pressing "2" to be removed to no avail.  So this time, I pressed "1" to speak to a "representative."  When a jolly male representative answered with a chipper "Hi, my name is 'so and so', how can I be of service?"  I answered nicely, "I have received this offer many times, and always have pressed '2', but that has obviously not worked, so I  pressed '1' this time to hopefully get that goal accomplished, and be removed from your calling list..."  He hung up.

     Way to represent the company.  Wait'll they call next time.
 
     Now actually at the time of writing this part, who knows how many more times I have received this call, always with a recording saying "This is your second and final chance..."  REALLY?! PROMISE?!  So for a long time now, I just have accepted the fact that I will continue to receive this company's calls.  However, the other day, I tried again.  This time I got on the line with what sounded like an older woman, you know reminiscent of your grandma.  I started our conversation as sweet as molasses, and told her one of her coworkers had hung up on me.  "Oh Sweetie, I am so sorry to hear that, let me assure you that I'll take care of your requests."  I began to explain why I did not need what they were offering; Granny was gone before I finished my first sentence.

     As for the social media, such as the ones listed above, I am so tired of their intuitive software.  I think that's what it's called.  When you go to the "Help" section and type in your question; then you have options from whatever key word they decided is the key word.   Then usually what follows is a question: "Was this helpful?"  This is where you rate it from "Extremely Helpful" to "Not at All."
Seems to me if it was truly intuitive, it would know the answer.

     Since it is the beginning of the year, I thought I would post this now in case anyone out there would like to carpe diem so to speak, and create yet another social network that is actually social itself.

Cause I am pretty certain that there are others out there.

I'd Rather Be In Paris

Need I say more?

Feelin' Snarky

Just a quick post today, to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.

Chances are you are either traveling, or are elbow deep in preparation for tomorrow's feast. 

My reason for feeling snarky may be due to the stores that continuously advertise their wonderful sales to be had tomorrow, still never uttering the word, "Thanksgiving".

More likely it's knowing full good and well to spite spending this evening prepping, and the majority of tomorrow cooking, neither of my daughters will end up eating much other than snack crackers and pumpkin pie for the entirety of the day.

I can't help but wonder, if Ben Franklin had had his way, and our national bird was the turkey;
what would be the main dish on Thanksgiving?

Given the look that the Bald Eagle delivers, doubt it would have anything to worry about.

Just the same, wishing you and yours a joyful and bountiful Thanksgiving.

S.

Yesterday A Botticelli; Today A Picasso

In my younger days, I used to somewhat resemble:








Nowadays, I look more like this:

                                          At least I am still smiling.

Can anyone relate?

WHAT I AM; WHAT I'M NOT

Nothing eloquent, just some random thoughts...

     Sadie's Gathering was the title I picked because I know me.  I loved my Grandma Sadie and the term gathering has always made me think of fun times. It could be either a gathering for a family holiday meal, or one with friends for a bitch fest.  I just wanted a place to write, about this and that; and thought hopefully someday it might form into a career of sorts.  So...

     First- I am a rotten typist.  You have no idea how long it has taken me to write these first few sentences.  I swear a lot.  Thankfully, my kids are in school at the present moment. 

     I am basically a happy person.  But I have my moods.  I decided a long time ago, not to let the emotion hate take up time with me.  My time is too precious.  So, I came up with a visualization of sorts, that involves me dancing in a pair of kick ass stilettos on the privates of the source of contention.  Does the trick every time.  Feel free to borrow that tip.   Enables you to smile sweetly, and give the impression of a sane, emotionally mature individual.

     One of the reasons I chose to have "gathering" in my title, is that I tend to have a lot of different topics, running through my brain any given moment.  Some may think I have ADHD.  What was I writing?  That's a joke.  I have thought about this and this is what I have come up with (I am cocky enough to believe it to be fact); so here's my thought:  With the invention of computers and all the shtuff; I think the average human brain just wasn't built to process all that new knowledge and keep on going as normal.  Stay with me.   Don't get me wrong, I think the human brain is virtually limitless in what it can learn.  However, I think that the time for optimum learning is when one is young: 10 and under.  After that there is the heavy logic, worry, hormones and other concerns that weigh the mind down and inhibit learning.  Not saying it is finished, but one just needs to consider, all things, before labeling occurs.  I know my daughters learn computer related techniques, a lot quicker than me, because they were born into that language.  I am not a tech savvy individual and struggle daily with all the nuances of all the jargon and all the social media, that are pertinent to what I am trying to do.  On the other hand, I was raised that proper manners require eye contact.  Today, with everyone looking at their screens, whatever they be, eye contact with another human being is often seen as confrontational.  Just an observation; just a thought.

     I am not a monument to justice, a saint, or running for office.  So, I can write and say pretty much whatever I want.   That being said, I realize at times it may seem that I am trying to preach or inspire or whatever; with posts like yesterday's "The Time Is Now" or "Take A Moment...Then Pass It On".
I do think the message is important; but I know the message is nothing new.  Still, the message is important, so keep it going from whatever source it comes.  Just for the record, I yell at my kids too much, and am of the mind most days, that no matter who the parent, (especially Ozzie and Harriett)
the kid will need therapy, or think they need it, somewhere down the line.

     One of the blogs I regularly visit is People I Want To Punch In The Throat.  Very funny most days.
Jen, who writes it, wrote about the Brian Holloway's House yesterday as well.  With her title, she has the luxury of writing all the words that come to mind, all the time.  I stated early on that since I often have 2 new, eager readers peering over my shoulder while I write that I would abstain from that luxury on Sadie's Gathering.  There are days that what I find at PIWTPITT crosses my line.  Probably if Jen stops by Sadie's, she has her critiques as well; may find it a little Pollyannish (sp) maybe.  No matter, that's why we each have the titles that we do.  I think she's probably a lot of fun to hang with, and a great mom.  Hope she would think the same of me.

     So, for the record, I don't have the snarkiness of some;  I am not trying to be Martha Stewart; and Sadie's is not a mom blog; I was here first.  However, I think you will find aspects of all of these from time to time, at Sadie's.  Hope you've enjoyed your visits to Sadie's Gathering.   Let's see what's round the bend.

Have a nice weekend.
S.

Back To School

     Well, it's been almost a week since my last post.  As many other people, parents, students, teachers, administrators, construction crews, and I imagine even politicians- I am scurrying around like a squirrel before the first snowflake to ready all in my abode for the rite of "back to school."

      I asked some of my teacher friends for a few words to contribute to this post.  Thought it might be fun to hear funny or touching memories, about the students they taught over the years; or on the other side, what they wish they would've known before becoming a teacher.  Not surprisingly, they're swamped to the "nth degree", and other than a few thoughts have left me to come up with with something that I hope will intrigue and provoke a thought as well as a smile.  If nothing else, you might learn something that with a bus token, may get you cross town. 

     I too, am too busy, so in all likelihood this will be short.  Since my youngest will be starting kindergarten, and I know there will be some adjusting to say the least.  If you need a little back story on my 5 year old Perry Mason, click HERE, to get the bigger picture.

     I have often wondered why one brings an apple to their teacher.  This thought usually has struck at the beginning of the school year, for as long as I can remember; back to the Victorian Age when I attended.  There were times I thought, "why an apple, as opposed to another piece of fruit? Why not a vegetable?  I supposed there might be unwanted connotation if one was to give a banana, zucchini, or a cucumber; but why not an orange?  Feeds the immune system and rids any worry of scurvy to be sure.  Figured cold hard cash would probably suffice and be more appreciated by the teacher. Alas,  that would probably cause a few raised eyebrows not to mention pesky rumors of impropriety.   I concluded, the reason  was probably more symbolic, rather than practical.  Still the reason nagged at my curiousity.  If it was symbolic, did it have to do with the forbidden fruit from the Garden of Eden's Tree of Knowledge?  Was it to serve as a warning?  In a warped attempt of alluding to Snow White's fate?  Maybe just a wish for the teacher's good health -to keep the doctor away as the proverb's promise.

     Perhaps it did all begin with the story of Eve, but after that monumental event, there were quite a few other points of knowledge to note about the apple.

     It is thought the wild ancestors of today's apple originated in Central Asia.  Alexander the Great is credited for finding dwarfed apples in Kazakhstan in Asia, according to Wikipedia.  Dwarfed apples; interesting.
     These apples were not sweet like the ones we enjoy today, but were bitter and  some even poisonous; nature's way of ensuring the growth and spread of the seed.   Further evidence, for my potential Snow White theory?  Thanks for that little seed of knowledge goes to the Smithsonian for sharing what I think they learned from Michael Pollan's Botany of Desire.*
     Over at Gourmet Live, it is stated that baskets of apples were given to teachers in lieu of payment for poor families' children's education in 1700 in Denmark and Sweden.  Back at Smithsonian, they share that with apples coming to America, the apples being still quite bitter and thus inedible on most accounts, did however make lovely hard cider.  Now call me silly, but I think I may know a teacher or two that would welcome a 6-pack of Woodchuck Cider in lieu of an apple any ol' day.
     Gourmet claims that giving a teacher an apple spread in the 1920's South, during the Great Depression.  Apparently with the thought of keeping their teachers in health in order to continue teaching, during the trying times.  Evidently holding on to the thought of "An apple a day keeps the doctor away,"  which according to How Stuff Works,  this idea first appeared in an 1866 issue of "Notes and Queries."  Gotta hand it to the crooner Bing Crosby, for giving the whole idea another spin.
     Over at Why Guides, it is suggested that since children come in all the variety of apples, that like an apple, only with love and support can they grow and flourish.  It is no easy task.
     So, not to be an "apple polisher", (as that is for another post) but allow me to wish all a good school year.
     And to thank the educators (of yesteryear, today, and the future) for all of their valiant efforts. 

You will never be thanked enough.

**UPDATE: PLEASE WATCH THIS GREAT VIDEO BY ONE OF AMERICA'S FINEST EDUCATORS  CLICK :  Rita F. Pierson


*This book caused me to post this later than intended; intrigued me to the point of ordering and I will share what I think later on down the road.

    Be sure to check out...
Last Minute; Keep In Mind...

Ever Feel Like This?

Let's Chat About Rudeness...

     This post is to expand on my pet peeve of rudeness.  Rather, the tendency that society has to celebrate rudeness.

     These days, people often say things to each other that they believe are clever, witty, honest, and direct; when in fact what they are saying is just plain rude.

     To make matters worse, there are these lovely things called "reality shows" that have grown in popularity over the last decade.  Not only do they glorify and desensitize people to rudeness, not being able to control ones own temper has become a trait to admire.  Personally, I think if you are past the age of 8 and haven't learned to reign it in, SEEK HELP.  If one wants to tell me that helps the ratings, and when the cameras are off everyone is super swell; well, that's not reality.  It's just off putting at its best.  Gordan Ramsay may be a wonderful husband, father and humanitarian, but I don't know and I haven't sought to find out simply because I do not think that temper tantrums are entertaining.  As a parent I get my fix.  Not to mention that I live in an extremely family oriented community, so if my girls are on their best behavior one day, I need not travel far to witness some other child's meltdown.  So, that's my thought on reality shows.

     Only problem is, it is reality in a lot of circumstances these days.

     The word snap, used to mean a type of closure. Now it means gotcha!  Everyone loves to diss... How did this word come about?  It is slang for "to disrespect".  So... the beat goes on.

     I hate to admit it, but I too have joined the band and have an unfortunate talent for coming up with witty quips that are not always victimless.  Some wise person once said "Use your wit to amuse, not to abuse."  I need to remember that.

     I believe our love of technology has fostered our rudeness as well.  With all the Twitter lingo,
and being glued to a smart phone screen; who makes eye contact anymore? An honest to God conversation is just too much to hope for from some.  What's more, Twitter, and many websites allow users to comment, using ID's that may or may not disclose their actual identity.  If you have joined a social network such as Twitter or any popular site,  I doubt if I need to enlighten you how "honest and direct" people can be when they're protected by a "mask" of sorts.  As we delve deeper down the rabbit hole, with our gadgets, and the latest this and that; do we move further away from real human conversation, connection and truly caring about one another?
     Telemarketing has reached insane heights in past years.  How many of us have been unnecessarily rude to someone who called at an unwanted time, (anytime), who was just doing their job in this crazy economy?  Guilty here. 
     There are some cities and even countries that are known for their rudeness.  New York I believe was the US capital, but I think with all it has gone through we have discovered the Big Apple has a big heart.
     Los Angeles is another city where "attitude" reigns supreme.  Curious thing I discovered while living there, is there are a whole lot of people from other places, that come to LA, then seemingly choose to chuck their manners to the curb.   People who are actually born and raised in LA, in my experience were quite nice.
     Of course the country that comes to mind when someone says rude is France.  Most notably, Paris.  Paris is a beautiful city, and again, most Parisians I spoke with were amiable as well as helpful.  However, if you are there and don't speak a word of French, and expect all Parisians to speak English, (which many of them do) then you may be in for a rude awakening.  That "do unto others" idea tends to be universal.  France is where the phrase tete-a-tete came from.  Translated as a head to head or a face to face chat, (vis-a-vis); in this hustle and bustle world who has time for a personal chat?
     As we fall out of practice of sitting down for a chat, can a loss of manners and humanity, be far behind?  Compassion and empathy?

      Which brings me to my big concern over this fashionable rudeness: are we building a wall
between each other?  While there is global warming, inside are we getting chillier? Through one means or another have we become a nation of quick wits waiting for the next chance to pounce, at the risk of hurting someone?  Even if it's a stranger at a store, on the phone, or online; who's to say what is too much?   How can we know for certain, when and what makes up "enough is enough?"  What happens when it's not a stranger?

     What happens when that dam breaks?  What price will we have to pay for being witty?

I don't know the answer-  just putting the questions and the thoughts out there. 

Someone once said, "Good manners are nothing more than a series of petty sacrifices."

Let me be the first to make some.  Have a good day.  Take care of the ones that matter and of you.

Thank you for reading.

  

The Graduation Poem

       I wrote this in 1986 when I was graduating high school.  I don't think I finished it till the summer, so I don't think I had the opportunity to share it with many friends.  I loved high school, and I remember being sad, about leaving and nervous about starting the next chapter of life.  The uncertainty of what would happen when close friends who had seen me through so much, scattered.  I am blessed to be able to say that I am still in touch with many of them.
      As graduation rolls around again, I thought I would share it here on Sadie's.  Hope you enjoy.

The Graduation Poem

The friendship we share today is true,

Though tomorrow is whose to say;

When we leave this little town of ours

And go our separate ways.

Both tears and laughter we have shared

Yet we have many songs left to sing

But when it's over and we say goodbye

I wish for you these things: 

To see the wonder of the sunrise

Have your heart beat the rhythm of the rain

To have a day that brings to you

Tears of joy not pain.

To see the twinkle in the stars at night

And the glitter of the morning dew.

To feel the happiness of being the child

That will always be inside of you.

To find the freedom to be yourself

To snooze beneath the shade of trees,

With only the whistling of the birds above

And the gentle whisper of a summer's breeze.

To feel the magic of a moonlit sky

To find a lover in a friend

And to find your happiness along the way

And just not at the rainbow's end.

- S. Lowe 1986

     
Happy Graduation to the Class of 2015! Wishing you every happiness as you embark on the
next chapter.  May your future be bright.

Why I Was An Only Child...

An homage to my friends and family...

Right now I am scrambling to get the crazy May holidays up and then I realize it is Brothers and Sisters Day.

I planned for this to be a longer post, but as you all know "life" comes up.

I was an only child.  So, by definition I had no siblings and was spoiled rotten.

True to definition, I have been spoiled rotten.

I have family; aunts, uncles and cousins, that were more like extra moms and dads and siblings.
To the point that the grown ups needed to separate us at holiday dinners so we wouldn't giggle the whole meal through.  One cousin is very close to me in age, and when we were young we had frequent sleepovers.  I still smile as I remember Mom storming into my room yet again, "GIRLS GO TO SLEEP NOW!!!  Too bad Mom didn't live to read Adam Mansbach's book, about going to sleep.  I know she would've gotten a kick out of it.  Then there is my cousin who had the happy job of always taking us trick or treating; of course she would not have wanted to be anywhere else.  There's too many fun and funny memories to share.  I love them all.

Someone once said, "Friends are the family you choose."

So, I hope it suffices for me to say "thank you," to all of my friends who have "stepped up to the plate" and been there over the years.  I know that I am blessed to have several people I can call at that "ungodly hour".

During my mom's last year, I spent more than half of that year in WV.   I stayed at the house where I grew up, with only the company of my newborn daughter,  my crazy dad, and my mom, whenever she was home from the hospital.  Later I would learn that my dad was under the demise of dementia.  My husband was over 2000 miles away in CA.   If it wasn't for the regular calls from my 'sisters", (my group of friends that I've known for 20-30 years each, who are scattered throughout the nation) - I'm not sure how I would have coped.  Even now, when I look back it seemed they were on a schedule to check on me.  It wouldn't surprise me either way.

For the one who I talk to as often as we can, who dares me to live, and has gotten me into trouble more than once I might add- although that was years ago-  Love ya.

I have always considered myself an only child in name only.

Happy Brothers and Sisters Day.  I hope your blessings are as plenty.

S.

The Perks of Being Fired

     A year ago today, I found out that my services would soon not be wanted or needed.  I was being "given the boot"; "getting the hatchet"; fired; terminated; ...let go.

     The company will remain nameless, as I do not wish to deprecate them; nor do I wish to advertise for them.

     It was my day off, and I went in for a planning meeting of an upcoming holiday.  I was then informed of another meeting with two of my supervisors.  Foolishly, I thought it might mean that I was getting the rest of my annual raise.  I got into my supervisor's car and was driven to another nearby locale; an upscale public hotel lobby to meet with the other.  I was then told that I had not developed the way they had hoped.  According to them, I had failed to demonstrate leadership.  I had not updated a checklist to their satisfaction.  In a nutshell, they told me, I was "just not a good fit".

     I was shocked to say the least.  And it hurt.  A lot.  It was (and is) a hot, quickly growing concept. I saw it as "The Cool Kids Club."  If I wasn't a "good fit", meant I wasn't cool.  No matter how old you are, that hurts.  For the record, I think that I was cool enough in high school.

     After this meeting, I understood the purpose of the site; it was safe and neutral.  I mused, just in case.  Of what?  Had to roll my eyes.  Who knows.   The supervisor who drove me there and back told me it was the hardest termination he ever had to do.  Really?!  I remember thinking, "is that supposed to make me feel better or worse?  Am I supposed to sympathize? Sorry to stress you out buddy, but imagine how I feel."  Of course, I didn't say any of that.  In fact I don't remember what I actually did say, but I know it wasn't much.

     I still jest over the fact that I was given 60 days notice.  Evidently what I did for the company that got me fired, they were willing to endure for 60 more days.  Because they cared about me and knew that I cared about the company.  They hoped I would be able to find a new position during that time. I worked 60 hours a week, always had the closing shift- (2pm till whenever; usually 2+am), 5 days a week.  I knew this was not likely. 

     For the next 60 days I was in a daze.  My goal was simple: To make it through with class, and not have a break down.   I shared my fate with coworkers as I felt the need.  I was told, "you are handling it so well," (HA!) "I would have walked out or thrown a fit!"  No you wouldn't.  Not if you were me.  Not if you were raised to not bite the hand that feeds you.  Not if you had a family counting on you.  I was even asked by the supervisors that did the deed, "What are you thinking? How are you feeling?" Pouring salt on a wound comes to mind.  Again, I didn't say much, as I don't believe in burning bridges.

     So, my 60 days came and went without a much ado.

     Now, for the perks.

     As with all changes of this sort- changes that occur based on something ending, whether it be with school, a job, or a relationship, there is a period of adjustment.  You find yourself with the time that you used to spend on whatever just ended.  You catch up on your sleep.  You have a break down of varying degree.  You have vivid imaginings that would not only burn those bridges, it would eviscerate them. Then you "clean house".   You get rid of all emails, papers, paraphernalia pertaining to the subject at hand.

     Then you set upon life anew.  You start all over again.  You can reinvent yourself.  More importantly, you rediscover yourself.

     The first sign that all was going to be good?  I was there when my eldest daughter took the training wheels off.  It was me that knew she'd "get it" if she rode first on the grass.  And I was there, less than an hour later when she rode down the street, training wheel free, wearing a huge proud smile.

     Know what else I discovered?  They were right,  I wasn't a good fit; more importantly they were not a good fit for me.  Not only were they not a good fit; they were not good for me. 
     I had not been gone more than 2 months when my husband told me that he was glad I was no longer with that company.  He told me I had smiled and laughed more in the past 2 months than I had the entire time I had been with the company.  I knew he was right.  While I worked for the company, I had often come home in tears, usually from fatigue.  I am now in my 40's, a parent, and no longer the night owl that I was in my 20's and early 30's.  Also, the main reason I had entered my former career was that it married my two loves of people and food.  During a hiatus of 7 years from the restaurant business,  I had changed; but so had the restaurant business.  Especially large corporate restaurants companies like this one.  During my last days there, I looked around at my coworkers; a lot of times I did not see smiles.  I knew it was going to be good to move on.

     Today, as with everywhere else, there is a lot more technology in the make up of the day to day business of the average restaurant.  One of the things I had to get used to was the James Bond like over the ear, round the collar, "hidden" radio contraption.  Courtesy of my husband, here's a pretty accurate depiction of how well I adapted to that gadget:

I don't want that many wires coming from me when I am dying; much less while I am living.  I know there are lots of jobs that use them and people adapt fine- hats off to them.

     "It's not personal, it's business," is a phrase I often heard.  Guess what?  I'm a person.  If you want my business, you'd better damn well make it personal.  The company is one that prides itself on caring about people, and open and honest communication.  Heads up: the companies that tout "open and honest communication"- that only works when it's coming from the top.  It gives them carte blanche to tell you what they think of you without any regard of your feelings.  Don't believe me?  Try it; but at your own peril.  Remember: these are the people that sign your paychecks.  Again, I am a person.  That pesky fact rears its head time and time again.  There's only so much "open and honest for your growth and development" one can take.  It's one thing to hear "constructive criticism" when you are starting out in your chosen field.  It is essentially helpful, and there is much to learn from it.  However after years learning, working and being successful, that "constructive criticism" often comes off as condescending and rude.  Especially if the helpful one hasn't bothered with learning finesse, tact, and manners. 

     So, the big perk is, I am no longer there.  If I'd had been honest with myself, I would have had to fess up that in fact, I wasn't happy; it wasn't a good fit- and I deserved better.  However, as no doubt others have found, the security of a paycheck and the time that you spend working, doesn't leave a whole lot of room to consider "should I be doing something else?" 

     It's now a year later, and I am doing fine.  I am still job hunting; and I am still looking for that good fit. 

     That company is of course very successful.  I have no doubt that it will continue to grow and prosper, breaking records here and there.   That's great, it should, and I am happy for them.  There's a lot of good people there.

     For me, I define success differently.   I want something special.   I want to work where it is about the people.  For me, life is too special and precious to hurry up and do it.  For me, systems are great, but they're not the essence.  Neither is it about cookie cutter consistency.

     So, till I find that good fit, I'll do as I do and take life as it comes.  I will enjoy as much and worry as little as I can.  I will spend time with my 5 year old before she starts school.  I will enjoy this short time where in my daughters' words: "I am the best."
Oh, and you know what else they tell me?

I am WAY cool!

When You Reach For A Star

This post has been in the works for quite a while, even before I started Sadie's Gathering.

     A few weeks back I decided to write what I hoped would be a positive, uplifting, post about the benefit of belief throughout life.  Since it was the season of Easter, Passover, Ostara, and many other holidays of belief and faith, I thought it would be a good time to post such a piece.
    After starting to write I changed the title to "The Case for Belief & Faith".  Then after thinking about it some more, I changed the title to, "The case for Belief, Faith, & Hope".

     A definition of belief, according to Webster's Dictionary is:  "1: a state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing. Conviction of the truth of some statement or the reality of some being or phenomenon."  Faith is, "firm belief in something for which there is no proof."  The definition of hope: "to desire with a belief of fulfillment".

    As I have stated before, I am a Christian, and have been as long as I can remember.  It is the way I was raised and it is this belief and faith that sees me through.  I remember discussing belief in God with Mom years ago.  I remember her saying, "it doesn't matter if I am wrong, cause if I am, I'll be dead, and won't care either way.  My belief and faith, I know has done me a lot of good throughout my life."

     My life has led me down  many different roads.  I consider myself fortunate to have friends from different backgrounds with faiths that range from the devout to the atheist.  I am also fortunate to have a secure and confident constitution that I have no need or inclination to attempt to "change" anyone.  My convictions are strong; yet so is my love and respect of my friends.  My friends extend to me the same graciousness.
   As such, it was my aim for this post on belief and faith, not to be a religious one.  Spiritual?  Well maybe.  I think it goes deeper though, and that is what I planned to write about.
      However, as I mentioned in an earlier post, a photo on Huffington Post shook me to my core and put this post on hold. I write not only for you, but for me, and at this point it is more likely for me since it is in the first stages of Sadie's, thus making my writing cathartic for mainly me.
      Thankfully, there's a lot to be said for Chicago, a couple of old friends, and the musicality of Phineas & Ferb for helping things seem alright again.  However, that's another post for another day.
      Where does that leave us?
      With yet, a new title for one thing.
     On April 14, the lesser known holiday was, Reach as High as You Can Day.  It brought to mind one of my all time favorite quotes by advertising legend Leo Burnett.  "When you reach for a star, you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a hand full of mud either."  Just a little back story on Mr. Burnett- he created memorable characters such as the Pillsbury Doughboy, Snap, Crackle and Pop, and The Jolly Green Giant.  He built one of the most successful advertising agencies in the world.  He did this amidst  World War II and the Great Depression.  One doesn't accomplish that without a healthy dose of gumption and chutzpah.  Optimism doesn't hurt either.
     Today, there is religious rhetoric all around.  We hear it, and read it, and see it.  How often do we feel it though?  Many people have died through the ages for their beliefs.  There are incredibly clever people who will readily tell us what to believe and what not to believe.  We now live in a cyber age where information is obtained at a moment's notice.  We fill our lives with the latest technological gadgets, so we can watch movies, read books,  check the news on a screen that can be one inch or  6 ft.  Didn't get enough sleep?  Grab a little bottle that's less than 2oz. and it'll see you through.  We've achieved so much, so why does it seem that with every friend I talk with, there's sighs like never before?  Before explaining what's new?
     As I write this, "what's new?", is yet another tragedy.  I know today, tomorrow and the next day will bring more.  They may or may not make the news.
     I offer no easy fixes and no quick answers or wisdom.  There's enough reality in my life that I don't watch most reality shows, sad movies, or read "touching" or "deeply moving" novels.
 
 Even so, through life so far, I have managed to learn a few things.
 
     Childhood is the time to create, foster, and inspire magic and wonder; before the world offers up the limits and the doubts.  Do all you can.  It'll do your heart good as well.  I think this is why experts suggest teaching kids a foreign language early.

     Hold on tight to the relationships that matter.  How do you know which ones those are?  They're the ones that work; the ones that last.  Even if it's been awhile, you know who you can call and you'll hear a smile on the other end.
   
     Also, these relationships help with this truth: "Don't ever lose your sense of humor."  And laugh whenever and as often as you can.
 
     Finally, I remember these words from Mom, "Everything is temporary.  So, cherish the good, and remember the bad won't last."  Yep, sometimes it does get worse.  That will change as well though, so just like death and taxes, change is something we can count on.
  
     What better reason to aim high?  I have heard atheists say that life is not a dress rehearsal.  Giving reason to doing all one can while alive for they're a long time dead.  On the other end of the spectrum. there are those that do what they do for their afterlife.  Since I am a Christian, and thus believe that life goes on after we die, I view life as the country that I am currently visiting.  I want to see every tourist trap I can, as well as venture to where all the locals hang out. 
  
     A few days ago I read about Linden Wolbert, a professional mermaid.  In 2005 she quit her 9 to 5 job and donned a tail and became a "full time" mermaid, working Hollywood parties, and promoting ocean awareness.  How cool is that?  What's more, 2005 was I believe when everyone realized that the economic crisis wasn't going to be just a passing phase.  I bet there's a whole lot more crazy, creative ideas out there waiting.
 
     I for one, would not be writing a blog, if I was working my former 60+hr/week job as a restaurant manager.
   
     So, give me the galaxy and in the words of J.M. Barrie, let me go to "the second on the right, and then straight on till morning."  I may be naive, but the alternative seems no fun at all.  A word of caution: When you reach for a star, do watch out for the assteroids.
   
     Even so, I think with belief, faith and hope you can create possibility, and often that can be the beginning of something wonderful.
 
    

We're Off To See the Wizard...

Heading for the Yellow Brick Road, so there's lot's to chat about today.

     Tomorrow, my 2 young daughters, my husband and I are planning to see the highly anticipated, "Oz: The Great and Powerful".   I almost feel that I should have written this piece for Multiple Personality Day; I  have so many converging thoughts about seeing the latest Disney production.

     Instead, this post coincides with International (Working) Women's Day, and Be Nasty Day.  Curious don't you think, given that this movie's intrigue is thanks largely to its witches?  Did some marketing person plan this?

      I am a huge fan of witches.  A lot has is due to Margaret Hamilton's portrayal of The Wicked Witch of the West for the 1939 Warner Brothers' "The Wizard of Oz".  I remember this movie being broadcast every Easter interestingly enough.  The big draw for me was the witch.  She scared the hell out of me.  I had nightmares.  Still didn't stop the intrigue though.  I insisted on watching it every year despite the impending nightmares and my fear of the green faced, cackling, crone.  I would huddle
down behind my mom's chair and beg her to let me know when it was "safe" to come out.   A couple of years later my mom pointed out "Cora" in Maxwell House commercials.  Whoa! That just added to the mystique of witches in my young mind.  From then on, I still insisted on watching every year, but was more empathetic toward the witch.  Did they really have to melt her?  Always "knew" there was a lot of untold backstory lurking.

     As time went on I read a lot about witches; their history, Salem Witches, the Pendle Witches,
and Wicca.  I have a gathering of Pendle, Italian and kitchen witch dolls that adorn my kitchen and dining room.

     So, when word got out that a new Oz was coming out complete with witches, I was hooked.  Not only about the current film, but nostalgia kicked in as I looked up about the 1939 film, and read about the original L. Frank Baum's story.

      I was born in the late 60's.  The first TV I remember was black and white.  When color TV came out, the black and white TV was retired to my parents' room for a bit, only to be chucked completely soon after, for an aptly sized color TV.   I know it's hard to imagine, how much impact this had on a child.   Especially since today, babies listen to classical music while in womb, and once they're out,  they are immersed in Baby Einstein and other baby geared media.  Imagine if you will, a child watching Technicolor TV after watching black and white.  Remember this is in the time before 24/7 line ups.  Children also had to share TV's with the grown ups.  During big news events such as the Watergate Trials, cartoons were cut.  At least that's what I was told.  The point is, for kids, you had classics like Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, and The Electric Company; but only if you lived in "the city" and were able to get a PBS station.  There was the ABC Afterschool Specials; but they were a little deep sometimes for a 5-8 yr. old.  Saturday mornings were what you lived for; along with Christmas specials such as Rudolph and Frosty the Snowman; and then there was 'The Wizard of Oz'.  My daughters cannot comprehend that TV progamming simply went off after a certain time, displaying only colored bars.  I recently told them that my family had a party line when I was young.  I had a pickle of a time explaining why parties that shared the party line were not full of joy and celebration.  Even though I was totally engrossed in the film, when I got old enough to read, The Oz series didn't interest me.  Especially when I found out that the Wicked Witch of the West, wasn't that major of a character throughout the series.  She didn't have ruby slippers, they were silver.  She didn't even have green skin!

      Back to "Oz The Great and Powerful". 

      Since the movie is rated PG-13, I have been doing a bit of research to ensure that my daughters will not leave the theater forever irrevocably traumatized.  Much of the movie's marketing is labeling it as a treasure for the whole family; while critics warn that the witches along with their flying baboons are very scary.  So, I consider what my daughters have seen, and what they watch every day.  Yes, I am one of those horrid moms who lets her kids watch entirely too much TV.  They're also very active and have fuller social calendars, than I did at 25, so I figure they'll live.   I have heard a rumor that the Wicked Witch is green because she has been scorned in love, which I have to roll my eyes at.  If this rumor is true, I am curious to see if I am going to feel sympathetic toward her.  Will I be thinking "Sweetie, he ain't all that- he's not worth you getting your hat all pointy and your skin green!"?  After all if a woman gets wicked it must be because of a man.  Shameful.  Now that's something scary that I will definitely have to chat with my daughters about, if it proves to be true.

     That being said, I have been chatting with my girls about the scary parts, asking if they think they'll be too much to watch.  "No, no, no... we REALLY REALLY wanna see it!"

      So as the song goes "We're off to see the Wizard..."

      I will report back, before the weekend's out with a little peek behind the curtain, and let you know if I think it's worth the trip from Kansas, or wherever you call home.

Holy Experiment Day

      Today is Holy Experiment Day.  Let me start off this piece by saying, that Sadie's Gathering is not a religious site.  However, as in most settings of friends, whether it be a kitchen table, living room, or public house, many topics will be discussed.

      I am a Christian and have been since before I can remember;  as was Sadie, who was unflappable in her belief and faith.  Faith runs deep in my family.  Upon the gathering after my mom's funeral, my aunt told me that Sadie's one surviving sister had phoned her that morning, saying "Oh what a good time they must be having today!" 

     So, with that being said, Holy Experiment Day according to Holiday Insights, "is a day to try something, or ask for something, and measure the results."  Seems to me to kind of go against the idea of Faith; but proceed as you think is appropriate.

    As I wrote on Calendar of Crazy Holidays for March, it is also Hug a GI Day, so I think we should pray that all come home and then give them lots of hugs, literal and metaphorical.

     There is a commercial endeavor going on right now that I think could be looked at as a "holy experiment."  I am referring to The History Channel's, The Bible; a five part mini series that started last night, Sunday March 3rd, and concludes on Easter Sunday.  Did you see it?  What do you think?
I enjoyed watching most of it and thought it rung true for the most part.  I would have liked to have seen more of Creation, and Adam and Eve, but I know that it is only a mini series so I know a lot of picking and choosing had to occur.  I thought The Burning Bush segment was depicted very well.  I will most likely watch the remainder of the series, because I applaud the History Channel's efforts in telling "The Greatest Story Ever Told".

     I am going to stray from the topic at hand for a moment and vent.  So, bare with me for a moment.

     In today's "cable community", I am regularly disappointed as to how their lineups run.  Several years ago, when cable channels such as The Travel Channel, and the Foodnetwork, were getting their start, one could turn on these channels and find a show that made sense that it was being aired on that channel.  The Travel Channel aired shows like Samantha Brown's "Passport to Europe" and shows about Rick Steves' travels.  The Foodnetwork had shows like "Cooking With Emeril" and "Good Eats."  Today on The Travel Channel and the Foodnetwork,  you are lucky if you find a show that focuses on travel or food; more likely it is to be about a competition, or some other type of reality show featuring a rude know-it-all who is way past 8 years old, but has yet to figure out how to control their temper.  I know, I know, it's good for ratings.   Which I really don't get.  I would think for people who are parents, they would have had their fill of temper tantrums.  If you don't have kids, just visit your local supermarket, bookstore, bank, or airport.   Not enough? Stop by Chucky Cheese for an afternoon or the like, and I guarantee you will experience earsplitting, hairpulling, Category 5, level tantrums with a front row view.  Now That's Entertainment!

     Back on target.  I would like to see more history on The History Channel.  The Revolution, the Mayflower, Catherine the Great, England's monarchy; bring it on. 

     I did find it curious and amusing that Christian Mingle, a dating website, advertised as much as it did.  Well, I mean I get the need for advertising, both for promoting Christian Mingle, as well as helping to ensure that The Bible was shown.  Just some of the script in their commercials struck me as funny to say the least.  "Find out who's God's match for you" -well too bad if you are a Christian and don't have a computer, or yours is on the fritz.  Or testimony from some of their successful matches: "I don't know how I would have found (true love's name), if it wasn't for Christian Mingle?"  Really?!!  We're talking God, people.  What happened to having faith that love finds a way?  Granted it may not be as quick as a click of a mouse, but you'd find the one.

     The other thought I have about the History Channel's The Bible, is that it has two books that are being promoted, along with it.  I walked into a Barnes & Noble the other day and couldn't help but notice the large display for the books.  "A Story of God and All of Us: Based on the Epic TV Miniseries 'The Bible' "and "A Story of God and All of Us Reflections:  100 Daily Inspirations based on the Epic TV Miniseries 'The Bible'".  You mean the epic TV series that is based on The Book?  The All Time Epic Book?  So these are books that are based on a television series, that is, based on the oldest, most printed book of all time?   Just struck me as curious and funny at best.  Opportunistic at worst.

     Well that's wraps up my thoughts for today.  Have a nice evening if you stopped by and tune in tomorrow, to see what me, myself and I think about Multiple Personality Day.

Another Day in Paradise

Another Day in Paradise  1/16/2013


      Still working on learning about what I need to know to reach my ideal site.  In the mean time, thinking about all I want to share.

     As mentioned a couple of days ago, I intend to have a "Words of Wisdom" list posted on the fridge.  Till then I will be working on putting the list here somewhere.

     I think I am progressing little by little, because today Sadie's Gathering came up as one of my options when I went to go to a new tab.  So, YEA!!! for that.

     I have two young daughters, that I'll call, Lizzie (8) and Lulu(5).  With both of them, I am constantly reminding them as they try new things, to be patient as they learn, give it time, and appreciate every step.  So, why is it so hard to apply those words to our own lives, once we reach that magical time in our life, adulthood?

     On that note, how often do we regard adulthood as magical?  A time when we do a lot of amazing things.   Whether it's through travel, falling in love, witnessing the creation of life, amazing jobs, or if it's just the time of doing what you want and letting the chips fall where they may.  It's all pretty cool.

     Yet, when it comes to something new, we seldom jump with the full abandon of our youth.
We contemplate, the contemplating to try and assess the chance of success before even starting.
After all, there are only 24 hours in a day, and they go pretty fast.  We have responsibilities.

We have obligations.  Can we just relax for a moment?  We're tired. 

     Maybe I am just weird.  I prefer eccentric and quirky by the way.   However, I have a sneaky suspicion, that I am not alone.

     So, for the time, let's just be glad the Mayans were wrong, and take a step towards starting,  whatever it is.  No jumping required.

Bon Chance Sur Votre Voyage!