Do Me A Favor...

     Do you love your child?  If so read on.  No, this is not an ad for a brand of condoms.  What this is is another small step in the endeavor to educate our children into understanding their bodies 100%. To enable them to make informed decisions about their lives as they grow into adult, members of society.

     So talk to them.  At the very least, around their 9th or 10 birthday, (not for their birthday, I've been instructed) get a copy of Where Did I Come From, or another birds and bees book and tell them to read it, (or read it together) and feel free to ask you any questions.  Let the chats go where they may.  What is the worst that could happen?  

     Worried that they might learn new things and be eager to try them out?  Well, that's why you drill into them that every choice brings consequences, some good, some not so.  They need to know a possible-probable side affect from sex, is creating life.  Also, a possible side affect, is a plethora of other things these days.  I grew up in the 70's and 80's.  I remember a time before AIDS; as I am sure do a lot of you who are reading this.  Know how I interpret that?  A new disease was discovered in my lifetime that was not known before.   Ergo: What disease will tomorrow bring?  Not that crazy of a concept.  And AIDS was a killer.  Thankfully there has been progress, and I don't think it's the death sentence it once was.   Just think, the world used to be flat; and that knowledge was widespread less than a millennium ago.  Also, be assured, the much touted phrase, "Just say no," belongs in fairyland.  It does not take into account, hormones, peer pressure, or anything else that a 12-17 year old experiences.  Did it work for you?

     There's a lot of sombering studies.  Here's a link to Tyra Banks talking about an anonymous survey her show conducted in 2008: http://www.today.com/id/27706917#.Uwt1g4VyCg8
Among other lovelies; 14% of the girls surveyed that are having sex, are having it at school.
I seriously doubt that things have improved in 6 years.

     If you have very young children, start practicing, (in your head, in the car or wherever) until you are as comfortable talking about sex with your child as you are about discussing the weather.  If you don't, be assured others will.  And the message may not be one you like.  Not to mention, it may not be true.  "It's just sex, it's no big deal," is a popular statement touted as long as I can remember.  You know, back at the turn of the 21st century.  I say that simply because my daughters keep asking me if I was alive "back then" for topics; including the first car, the first plane, and the first computer.  Pleased to say, "no" to all.  The first computer was built in the 1800s.

     If you don't talk to them, will it be much consolation, when something such as an unplanned pregnancy, or an unwanted disease "just happens" to your child?  Likely, you won't even know.  What secrets did you keep from your parents?  If you don't get to the point of being comfortable with talking with your kids about sex, how on Earth do you think they'll feel about telling you that they have a disease?  Reminder: lies and secrets, beget more lies and secrets.  Doesn't quite make for happy family relations.  Possibly for years to come.

     A well adjusted, emotionally mature, contributing member of society does not simply "pop-up" from that cute little bundle of joy.  They must be raised.  These are our babies.  No, it's not always easy; often it's awkward as arse.  However, parents must be involved in order to guide them through. To try to get through to them that it is up to them, and them only, to keep themselves safe, and healthy.  Life is messy.  Being a parent only makes it messier; in so many ways.  It's up to YOU, the adult, to ensure that it's all worth it.

Good luck. 

Google Glass's New App

 Okay, okay, "you can leave your hat on", but for the love of God, please leave your Google Glass at the door.  Preferably the front door.  Far away from the bedroom.

     Just in case you haven't heard, Google Glass has a new application coming soon: Google Glance.   This new handy dandy software (every pun intended) lets you watch and record your sex acts; along with a few other options.

Thank you, Huffington Post for keeping me up on the latest technological advances.

     I spent some time looking up about Google Glass, and while I understand there may be times where Google Glass serves a purpose, that is not the point of this post.
   Please, oh please, let Fred Armisen host SNL or make a guest appearance in the near future and do a follow up to his hilarious first sketch about Google Glass.  In case you haven's seen it, I think it aired last April.  I tried to link it up through YouTube, but due to a copyright, it's no longer available.  I will add the main gist of this post, to my "SNL Sketches I'd Like To See," when I

Breastaurants- ARGH!

This post may strike some as feminist, sexist, prudish, old fashioned, or whatever.  To that I say -too bad!  Allow me to vent.

     Just to reiterate, even though I hope Sadie's Gathering evolves as my career, I continue to look for restaurant management jobs.  It's frustrating to say the least, as well as to say it the most eloquently.   <Sigh>  I continuously receive emails from the Department of Employment Security for truck driving school and massage therapy.  <Sigh>   I will put it nicely and say I possess none of the physical qualities to perform either of these professions.  Mainly, endurance of certain sorts.  I would think from what I have disclosed on my profile for this state government agency, that these job listings would not be sent to me. Come on... I am mid 40's; a mom;  not willing to relocate; able to work flexible hours, but prefer no late nights.  Oh, and I have a degree; as well as 25+ years of restaurant experience; 15+ in management.  Which brings me to the main topic of this post.

      Seems as I look through job sites such as Craigslist, Monster, and such, the same attributes needed for trucking, (endurance, long hours) and massage therapy, (again endurance), added with my Grand Tetons, might be more useful to find a management job (than my 25+ years of actual restaurant experience )for a growing genre of restaurants:  "Breastaurants".

     Used to be, it was just Hooters... now that list includes:


Brick House Tavern
Tilted Kilt
Twin Peaks
Show-Me's
Bone Daddy's
Mugs & Jugs

and there are many others.  Just a curious note, most of these concepts were conceived in Texas.  Guess everything is big there.  Sorry; couldn't resist.  I saw the other day, that Hooters' has updated their owl logo- no doubt to compete with their contemporaries.

     Years ago, there was a hostess that I worked with.  Very nice and intelligent in most aspects.  We were discussing "Gentleman Clubs" one day.  I stated that I found them to be an oxymoron- a contradiction in terms.  No true gentleman would frequent such a club.  She disagreed, stating that some were classy and such.  I concurred, aware that some were more upscale than others, but still no man, while acting as a gentleman by the definition I knew, would frequent one.  I continued by saying that when these are labeled as "Gentlemen Clubs," frequently they are perceived as potential options for business outings.  What about their female coworkers?  How would she feel if she was in finance or real estate, and a peer suggested a Gentleman's Club for lunch?  I saw the light bulb go off in her head.  She smiled, and confessed that she'd never thought of that possibility.
     So, nowadays we have the "breastaurants."
     I confess, I am curious.   I know breastaurants have gained popularity in the past years.  How? Who goes to these establishments?  I mean, I get it, I understand.  After all I went to see Magic Mike.  Enjoyed it immensely.   Saw some critique of it afterward criticizing its storyline!  Missed the point there luv!  Back to the subject at hand. (awkward)  When a breastaurant's ideal customer is a man, of a certain income, late 20's on up?  What genre of man is keeping them in business?  Or is there something going on that I am not aware of?
     A couple of years ago, one of these establishments opened up in the town where we live.  Now, where they decided to open up was the northern, fairly conservative, family oriented side of town.  Frankly, it's all pretty family oriented here.  Among the other businesses along this avenue are other restaurants,  including Chuck E. Cheese.  When I found out what type of place it was, I thought 'huh, interesting choice to put one less than a few blocks from that mouse place.  I can remember cracking myself up, imagining any one of the dads I know, (including my husband) proposing, "Honey, Steve and I are going over to that new place, for a bite and a beer." Like hell.  

Not that anyone here is wrapped that tight, just fun to imagine the hypothetical conversations.
   
     Not long after, I read that the  nearby neighborhoods were not best pleased and wouldn't be welcoming the new place with open arms.  Despite the writing on the wall, the breastaurant opened-  and it closed shortly after.  Don't think it made it 6 months.  I never saw more than a few cars in the parking lot; probably the staff's cars.  Can't help but wonder what marketing/location picking genius picked that spot.  Note to the wise: that's what happens when you think with something south of the border, so to speak.  
     While googling around for this post, I came across "How to Eat at a Breastaurant Without Being Creepy."  How refreshing.  If you don't have time to visit the site, here are the 5 tips they suggest.  My commentary is italicized.
       1.  Make eye contact when you talk to her.  If by some chance you are somehow here with a significant other, you better make damn sure of this.
       2. Talk to her like she's a human being wearing an outfit, not a fantasy come to life.  First and foremost, because she is in fact a HUMAN.  Yep, once she puts on a tad more clothes, and takes off her make up, she would not be happy with how you load the dishwasher either.
      3.  Go ahead and watch the TV.  Nobody else is.
     4.  Recognize who "that guy" is and do not be him.  Great tip- trouble is the nasty little fact that after 2-3 drinks (not to mention more) good judgement is the first to go.
     5.  Tip well.  Well yeah... no server, regardless of how little or how much they don for their uniform, are doing this for community service.  For insight, please read my post, "Nat'l Waiters & Waitresses Day".

     Now, you have probably figured out, that I could go on all day about "breastaurants".  Note:  When I started this post I wrongly was spelling the genre, B-R-E-S-T-A-U-R-A-N-T-S.  Silly me.  However, in the spirit of brevity, (as with the uniforms for these establishments) I will wrap this piece up (that, even sounds naughty) by sharing what makes the Tilted Kilt concept special.  Oh boy.
      Another site I discovered was Akhorra- "Quality articles by quality people."  Found this on their "Top 10 Breastaurants", from July 4, 2012.  Tilted Kilt was #3.  Apparently, the owners "enlisted doctors to help them determine a way to make the customers experience more interactive and suggested the touch technique."  Do tell.  "This allows the server and the customer to make a more intimate connection thus giving the customer a more personalized experience.  The better the customer feels after his experience the more often he will return."  You betcha!  "This has paid off huge (snicker) for The Tilted Kilt.  The Tilted Kilt is putting locations everywhere."  Saucy lil things.  "They are already dominating the Eastern side of the U.S. and are spreading faster than any other brand."  Yes, but that begs the question: spreading what?  
     They're not dull, I'll give 'em that.  If by chance you'd like to check out another of the "breastaurant sites", may I suggest Bone Daddy's House of Smoke?  Take note of the Picasso-esque drawings of women.  Then, we have the VIP CLUB: "If Bone Daddy's is like your home away from home... well, welcome to the club.  And as long as you're here, might as well get some extra love from Daddy and the girls."  What does this VIP CLUB entail?  Not sure.  Not sure I wanna know.  Pretty sure if it serves as your "home away from home," you may find yourself going "through the Big D"- and I don't mean Dallas.
     I am sure all this innuendo is meant as nothing more than just harmless fun, so let me finish by posing a question and you can take it as you may.  When, pray tell, does Magic Mike the "chestaurant" open?  See?  Two can play at that game.

*UPDATE: There's a media described "Male Hooters" coming in May to (where else?) Oak Lawn TX.  I had high hopes for a moment.  Be sure to check out "OH BOY!" later today.

NEW PAGE, SNL Sketches...

SNL Sketches I'd Like To See

     Just would like to let you know there's a new page here at Sadie's Gathering.  Hope you enjoy it!
I had lots of fun thinking about it.  I am working on an image to serve it as the recipe box serves "The Recipes", but wanted to go ahead and share.  Till I get the image the way I want, this fella will serve as an ambassador of sort.

This page will be subjects that I believe would make good Saturday Night Live sketches.  Maybe some day Lorne Michaels will stop by.  Any ol' hoo, these are fun to think about. 


-Martha Stewart's long lost or "black sheep" sister.... white trash, but very creative with a variety items.  Lots of possibilities I think.

-Parody of Caillou.  Caillou, his sister, all the characters, and don't forget the saccharine sweet narrator. They did a brilliant parody on Dora the Explorer entitled Maraka and Mittens.  If you haven't seen it click to watch.

-Right now it's summer and I am seeing lots of toys promoted. However there are the "As Seen on TV" toys like Flashlight Friends, Seat Pets, Stuffies, and Tummy Stuffers, that you don't know what you get till you get it and may be more gimmicky than other toys.  They always say "great for all ages"... well imagine a college age kid, an adult, or an elderly person with a Flashlight Friend, Seat Pet (maybe a Bum Bud, for the tush) or a Stuffie-  great for hiding whatever you don't want your spouse or kids to see... different paraphernalia can fit!  

-On the same line as the "As Seen on TV" toys-  gimmicky toys that enable adults to carry things discreetly.  

-Chuck E. Cheese's How-to Video for the Say Cheese! App.  Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader would have done it phenomenally, but I know there's others that could do it justice as well.

-A take on Ana and Christian from the 50 Shades series.  Shows them after 50 Shades Freed.  Does Christian load the dishwasher correctly?  When Christian starts to get "bossy", what used to turn Ana on, now causes her to suspect he's trying to get out of doing the mundane things she's asked him to do.  Hows about does either one get the "7 year itch"?  Maybe Christian is a little too nice now, and she gets the hots for the plumber?  Again, think there's lots of funny potential scenarios. 

Let's Talk About Sex

     No, this wasn't a tease, when I listed this in "What's Brewin'".  I did mean to post it earlier, but, better late than never.  Huffington Post recently featured an interview with Judy Blume and so for what I think are obvious reasons, I was reminded about this post that I started in April.

     Summer is in the air; what better time to talk about sex?

     Sorry, this is not a "how to" post.  This being the internet though, I'm sure if that's what you are in the market for, you shouldn't have a problem finding that.

     This post is about the "the talk"; the facts of life chat; the birds and the bees.  I trust if you are here, and are of a certain age, you are in the know.  Now, we are coming to the time to start passing on that knowledge to the next generation. There are points that we have started discussing with our kids, and I think, (and hope) that it's going to be quite a bit less uncomfortable than it was for my parents.
     As I imagine, or rather hope, it is with each generation; the parent thinks for a bit, and plans how to explain everything, and then prepares to answer the invariable questions, as well as ready themselves for the "doozie".  The question that your child asks that you weren't prepared to answer.  The one that makes you feel like you are back in school during that dream where you are taking a test in a class that you only just realized you had and you haven't a clue.  The question that makes you realize how smart your beloved child is, and how much you love and want to protect them and keep them safe.  The realization that there is only so much you can do.
     So, knowing that, there's a lot I hope my daughters take away.  I know there will be LOTS of conversations.
     First and foremost, that they know how precious they are.  That no matter what, they know without a doubt they are loved.  That they have a good sense of self, and that they understand everything about their bodies.  That it's all good.  I cannot keep up with what legislature is allowing to be taught in schools.  I think every human being should understand how their body works.  So it's up to me to ensure that my kids get that.
     Sex is one of life's greatest pleasures.  It has health benefits galore.  It can deepen a couple's bond, and most importantly, it can create LIFE.
     However, as with a lot of things, sex can get us into a lot of trouble. There are diseases, some can be quite severe. There's rape, which is more about power than sex, but still, kids need to be aware.  Know your mind.  Know what you want. No means no.  Don't toy with peoples lives.  Respect one another as well as yourself.  I try and I will try in the future, to keep it positive, but to regularly tout responsibility.      
     Regardless of how I think the world should be, and how I vote, the world is what it is.  So, I am trying to raise my kids accordingly.  I think we need to talk about sex with our kids regularly. Yes Santa Clause exists, and by the way so does sex.
     I remember when I was around 7 or 8, my dear Grandma Sadie asked, (told me) "Susie, you're not gonna go around and sleep with a bunch of men are you?"  I replied, (because I knew by her tone and look there was not another answer) "No Grandma."  then I wondered, I don't know, maybe; what's wrong with sleeping beside a man?  What's the big deal?  I looked at Mom with a questioning look.  She stated to hers, "Mom, she's a little young for that."  "Never too early," was Sadie's answer.
        Today, is a nutty world.  I think every generation thinks that.  I often ask my Aunt Mary her thoughts, and she's knows it's gone crazy.  For starters, I would like to thump the idiot (woman or man) who coined the phrase casual sex.  Not long ago,  there was a goal to "have sex like a man; without thought or care."  Was this good for anyone?  No matter how many people one chooses to shag, there needs to be acknowledgment of some simple truths, and responsibility from both sides.  There is nothing casual about that.  Let me say it again: it is a nutty world today.  Parents, in addition to the old fashioned basic facts of life chat, make sure you are aware of what is going on in the world, and more importantly, your child's world.  Talk to other parents.  Comb the internet often.  "Lipstick Parties" and "Rainbow Parties" were recently brought to my attention.   I realized yet again, how naive I am.  I also remember enough of what it was like to be young, unsure, uncomfortable, unaware, confused, the extreme highs; the soul crushing lows... you couldn't pay me enough to go through it again.  Know your kids.  Know their friends.  Make sure your kids KNOW you love them and are there for them no matter what.
     Sex is an area where there are a lot of choices to consider.  As with all choices, there are consequences that will happen.  The more informed and educated a person is, the wiser the decision is made.  Children also need to be taught (as do some adults) that things don't always go ideally.  Sometimes, no matter how prepared, educated, responsible people are, life steps in and has its own plans.  For those times,  I believe we must go back to the beginning, and remember how precious we all are to one another.  To get this point across, I for one, will repeat it till I am blue in the face, say it 1000 different ways,  get tongue tied saying it in Swahili, to make sure my daughters fully comprehend that simple truth, that no matter what life brings; I love them.

Be lovely and take care of one another.