Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Wait A Minute... A Pedometer for What?


I can't believe it.  Honestly.  In case you haven't seen about Bondara's new gizmo, this is a pedometer for your peter.  Yup.  A man's penis.  

Just so you don't think I go looking for these things; I was reading on Huffington Post the other day, reading news stories, and looking to see what had gone on in the past few days around the world.  Then I saw a post entitled, "The Pedometer For Your Penis".  Well naturally I was curious.  I was tired from packing and at first wasn't sure that I could even remember what a pedometer was in the first place.  After reading the article, a thought crossed my mind:  Shouldn't it be called an Oh!dometer?  Heehee.
I searched for the site of Bondara* to find out more about the SexFit; instead came across other informative articles about it from Recombu, a technology site; and a super funny post about it on Jezebel .


So to recap, (pun intended in honor of Mr. Powell's Galactic Cap), the well equipped member of 2014 will be wearing one of these:

all the while wearing the adhesive base of the Galactic Cap- let's hope none of the red fuzzy stuff gets stuck to it.  Then he'll slip on the Sex Fit, and then the cap- of the Galactic Cap- although I have no idea which will come first- I mean... will be put on first.  Guess it depends on your priority.  Sure.  Whatever.  Then you'll share your prowess via whatever social media your SexFit is linked up with.  Lastly, be sure you capture it all with your Google Glass Glance App.  Cause heaven knows, you'll want to see that again.  Just a word to the wise: don't forget about your partner.  Then again, with all these gizmos, does one really need a partner?

So... one question: Was it good for you?

In a nutshell, (HA!) what bothers me about all of this, is this: it's a lot of time, money and effort focused on the glorification of the phallus.  Gentlemen, I ask you this:  Has it really gotten so bad for you?  Was sex just so ho-hum dull?  Were you getting no love for your luv serpent?

Come on!  There are wars going on; there's homelessness: there's AIDS; there's CANCER.
 
It's just a lot of money being spent to dress up, and dote on one part of the body of  half the human race.  I mean Mr. Powell raised $100,000 for the research and trials for a piece of latex that couldn't protect a well endowed squirrel, much less a human male.

Now they've gone and developed a pedometer?  Why?  So some male politician can boast about his thrusts per minute? Too far?  Too bad.  If we're a crazy enough world to come up with a pedometer for the private parts, you know we're a crazy enough world to produce a male politician who relishes in the publicity of his private parts.  Oh wait... we already did.

If the gentle good Dr. Sigmund Freud was around today; he might think I was plagued by a case of penis envy.

To which I would reply with a roll of my eyes, "Don't be silly; after all  C-Strings come in a lovely selection of designs for women.  What more could we ask for?"

Oh... wait... yea... A HELL OF A LOT MORE.



*Bondara does have a site; I did not include the link due to my 6 year old looking over my shoulder during much of the time while I was writing this.