Monday, April 27, 2015

OH BOY!

COMING SOON...
Tried to make this picture bigger, but couldn't.  Pity.

UPDATE:  TALLYWACKERS OPENS MAY 30.  THE MENU LOOKS PRETTY GOOD.
Why are there parentheses around "Our" in "'Our' Homemade Ice Cream"?  Ew.  May want to rethink that. 
Link to Tallywackers' Menu: 


Where shall I begin?

      I first noticed a teaser for Tallywackers on Facebook.  Just the word.  Tallywackers-teeheeheehee.  
What could that be referring to? 


     For a moment, I thought it might be something to go along with the Galactic Cap and Sex Fit.  Curiosity grabbed me, so I clicked the word and was taken to their Facebook page.

     Whaaattt?  Handsome men, barechested; one with a tray of E M P T Y martini glasses; one presenting a tray of hot dogs; and the only one smiling, was the cutie in the middle, who was fully dressed.  
SIDE NOTE: What's with the EMPTY martini glasses?  They managed to put wieners in the buns; so why not put some water, in the martini glasses? Come on!
     Since they were very well coifed, figured it was some type of male review.  I saw a couple of comments that led me to think it was a gay bar.  Then I saw the word "restaurant".

  Then I saw this photo:
     
     Yeah they're good looking. Frankly though, I don't want to eat at a restaurant if I think there's a chance a waiter's recently had his hand in his pants; and this photo pretty much removes all doubt.
     
     So I Googled Tallywackers.  The first few links said it was a male version of Hooters.  
"Making dreams come true''.  
One link connected that since it's opening in May, 
                                                                                          GREAT! -just in time for Mother's Day
     I clicked on the Huffington Post link, and since I was directed to an article on their "GAY VOICES" page, and not on their "HUFFPOST WOMEN" page, I concluded that Tallywackers was in fact a gay bar.<SIGH> Furthermore, Tallywackers is set to open in a mainly gay neighborhood of Dallas.  Their spokesman said, "While we are aiming towards the LGBT community as part of our audience, we are expecting and welcome, a diverse clientele including women."   Bare chested, buff men in biker shorts?  Isn't that nice that they're including women (52% of the population) in their "diverse clientele".  Perhaps he should have said "expecting and welcome straight women and their bitter male +1s".  They do know that women are part of the LGBT community, right?  What do they think the "L" stands for?  Besides that, I've been to gay bars with friends, that have young, buff, good looking men for staff.  Nobody ever called any of those places a "male Hooters".  So, is Tallywackers really that novel?  Not in my opinion.  
      
     I just don't think Tallywackers is aimed at straight women, any more than Hooters is aimed at lesbians.
     Hooters is aimed at a small demographic of straight men, as are most breastaurants.   To be a "male Hooters" or to be the actual counterpart of breastaurants, pecstaurants would need to have good looking men, a great menu, and cater to women first and foremost.  Tallywackers is not such a place.  Their location among other aspects suggests that it is a Hooters for the gay male.  With the straight woman as the afterthought.  With all due respect, there are breastaurants, gay bars, as well as bars and restaurants that cater to lesbians.  
     With the success of Magic Mike, (pssst... click to see trailer for -> Magic Mike XXL !)
the 50 Shades phenomenon, and other factors; clear that there may be a market for great restaurants complete with beefcakes, that cater to a certain demographic of women.  Needless to say, to get it right, it needs to be owned and ran by women.
     
     If you've been visiting Sadie's Gathering for a while, you may recall that I once wrote a post entitled: "Breastaurants...ARGH!"  
CLICK FOR LINK TO POST
     It was a post where I aired my grievances about such restaurants as, HootersTwin PeaksTilted KiltBrick House TavernShow Me'sBone Daddy'sand Mugs & Jugs.  I was looking for a job at the time, and was dismayed at the number of job opportunities that were in this type of restaurant.  Not a good fit.  For me.  But that's another post*. 
     Through including the links again to the restaurants above, I discovered that there have been some changes since I wrote, the "Breastaurants..." post.  Mugs & Jugs is now, just Mugs.  Brick House Tavern, seems to have dropped the female brick house aspect of their concept all together.
     Since there is a Brick House Tavern near, and the online menu looked good, I called to find out what ambience I could expect.  I asked about the "breastaurant image," and was told that at one time Brick House had only a female staff, but now both men and women worked there.  So, is it kid appropriate?  Yep; the man I talked to has a 12 year old son and a 7 year old daughter, and they come in all the time.  BHT even has a churchgoing crowd on Sunday.  After I hung up, I amused over the disappointment the 12 yr old son must have felt due to the restaurant change of image.  Figure a few of the church folk were bummed as well.  

Jimmy Buffett said it best: "There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday mornin'."

     As for what's in store for Tallywackers, only time will tell.  If Tallywackers gets business from moms on Mother's Day though, it will be a surprise.  Just can't see conservative Texas mothers waltzing down to the gay neighborhood to check out some eye candy and eat hot dogs.   
     Also, moms usually have to tote the whole family along with them on Mother's Day.  Some families even include the grandmothers, and thus, the grandfathers.  Can't you just see the Bush clan all gathered at Tallywackers?  There goes Grandpa George W. chasing after his 2 yr old granddaughter.  Woopsie daisy...not in there honey!
     And, then there's that handsinthepantshandlingfood factor.  
     But who knows?  Some moms may decide to skulk away from their country club brunches, meet up with their dear friend Bitsy Lou, and go and sneak a peek down at ol' Tallywackers.  
     With a name like that, I sincerely wish them luck if they ever decide to reimagine the concept.
     
     If perhaps a spark is struck and a pecstaurant for the ladies becomes the rage, may I offer a few suggestions?  After all I'm a woman, a mom, and a well seasoned restaurant manager with 15+years of experience.

- To the owner(s) Location, location, location.  Do the research.

- To the handsome staff: KEEP YOUR HAND OUT OF YOUR PANTS.  You're not a baseball player, a football player or a 3 year old.  YOU SERVE FOOD.

- As for the uniform: As lovely as thy torso is, retain a shred of mystery, sanitation, and class and put a shirt on.  A 100% cotton, plain, grey, tshirt works well on most male physiques.  Think young Marlon Brando.   
  For the bottoms: Faded Levis.  Not too tight.  But should capture all the points... the assets if you will.

- Menu should offer variety.  Hot dogs fine.  Oysters definitely.

- To the handsome staff:  Good eye contact, and by all means serve it with a smile.

Hell, I might even return to running restaurants if my staff looked like this:

Link to -> "The Best Diet Coke break Ever"


Till then, check out this hilarious sketch from Amy Schumer:

Here's hopin'!